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Apocalypse Now Redux Redux

25 minutes for 9 and a half weeks
  (+14, -3)(+14, -3)
(+14, -3)
  [vote for,

There I was the other day (ok, the other month, but was sans halfbakery until now) on a flight which managed to get in 20 minutes ahead of schedule because of a strong tail wind. Great news, except we missed the last 20 minutes of the slightly-longer-than-they-should-have-chosen film.

It struck me that it would be really useful/nice to be able to watch whatever length of the film you wanted (shorter than the longest original). E.g. you've got an hour and you want to watch shawshank redemption.
Basically a review marks sections of the film from 1 to 5 with 1 being essential to the plot and 5 being irrelevant. Given the amout of remaining time and the amount of remaining film, it dynamically chooses which bits to show you.
neilp, Oct 06 2004

thanks to triple J http://www.abc.net....calypse_m927338.mp3
for the title. [neilp, Oct 06 2004]

(?) live theatre would be interesting... http://www.reduceds...a/post-gazette.html
like the idea neillp [po, Oct 06 2004]


       lovely [+}. Now we can watch Star Wars EP1 without the pod race, or Matrix 2 without the cave dancing :)
reap, Oct 06 2004

       Yes there was some disagreement recently between directors and a business that was selling DVD players which recognised which film you were watching and downloaded instructions on how to skip the sexy bits. The directors were complaining about their artistic integrity being attacked, etc.
hippo, Oct 06 2004

       Not a bad idea though perhaps it would be best just to cut out the correct proportion of frames and then run the film at the standard 24fps. Nice and twitchy.
calum, Oct 06 2004

       Nice. I remember trying to watch Memento on one flight and having it cut off 5 minutes before the end, or rather the beginning. Grrr.
hazel, Oct 06 2004

       //downloaded instructions on how to skip the sexy bits//
Skip?. We had a tawdry rag in the UK that used to tell you when they appear so you didn't have to bother with the rest of the film!
gnomethang, Oct 06 2004

yamahito, Oct 06 2004

       nice work South Korea, I think I'd prefer that version.
neilp, Oct 06 2004

       You could take this even further, rank each scene for relevance, sex, violence, which actors appear, any criteria at all really. You could then view the whole film edited to the criteria of your choice. Apocalypse Now "only Dennis Hopper scenes". Kill Bill 1 "only incomprehensible manga comic sections". Nine and a half weeks "only the steamy bits". Stalker "only bits shot in colour but without the dog that distracts me from everything else because I can't figure out what it means".   

       Would ruin the films, but I'll [+] this one anyway as I like the logic.
wagster, Oct 07 2004

       Basic Instinct "Wanker's Edition"
calum, Oct 07 2004

       With wipe-clean cover.
lostdog, Oct 07 2004

       Instead of removing sections of the film, they should just speed certain bits up and have them accompanied by a manic honky-tonk piano.
spiritualized, Oct 07 2004

       Would 'Basic Instinct: Wankers Edition' be in the Sharon Stone 'Box Set?'
etherman, Oct 07 2004

       Some might say that'd break the mood [spiritualized]. I think it'd improve many films. When flying from Tokyo to Heathrow once they played Maid In Manhattan at me. I amused myself by watching it in silence and making up the words in my head but I bet that a version in your style would have entertained my infinately more.   

       Oh yes, the original idea. I guess that airline versions of films are so mashed up anyway that it wouldn't really make much difference if they gave you the option to do it yourself. At least you'd feel empowered.
harderthanjesus, Oct 08 2004

       I recently fast-forwarded "Lost in Translation" through all the slow and boring bits....30 seconds, tops.   

       Which shows to go you, one Coppola does not another Coppola make.
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 08 2004

       True, he needed a Mrs. Coppola too.
etherman, Oct 08 2004

       No, no [Consul]. Quite apart from the fact that I loved Lost In Translation - a personal favourite of the year, I think you'll find that not only did one Coppola make another, but in fact two of them did.
wagster, Oct 08 2004

       Strange you should give the exmaple of "Shawshank Redemption"; the DVD has an option to watch certain threads of the storyline, i.e. 'The Sisters'.   

       I haven't seen this done elsewhere, it would go some way to achieving the redux redux effect.
Jinbish, Oct 08 2004

       He was.
etherman, Oct 08 2004

       I suppose he ran away from it.
etherman, Oct 08 2004

       Should have played Forrest Gump then. Sloppy casting there.
harderthanjesus, Oct 08 2004

       Hm. Don't like this. Films shouldn't, and largely don't, contain anything other that those parts that would be marked 1 anyway. Certainly the title title is one such. Agree, there are exceptions, which largely suck anyway.   

       Besides, who decide what's relevent? It wouldn't be in the movie unless the director thinks it is, and it's his/her movie, so I think they should have the final say on that.   

       I think you make time for the movie, not the other way around. Big Fish.
waugsqueke, Oct 08 2004

       For a man who has written so many musical parodies to detest musicals is unexpected.
RayfordSteele, Oct 09 2004

       Heh heh. Like the idea of the Basic Instinct W.E. Would avoid the trauma of being confronted with a close-up of Michael Douglas's face just as you reach the point of no return.
stupop, Jan 11 2005

       Unless you are Catherine Zeta Jones.
etherman, Jan 11 2005

       [etherman] Unpicking the logic behind your annotation, you're suggesting that Catherine Zeta Jones might masturbate to images of Sharon Stone.
hippo, Jan 11 2005

       Seems like it would be possible to do as a DVD player, hardware or software, wich accepts scripts made by other viewers. The scrips would be pretty compact... maybe give 3.5" floppies a new reason to be.
tiromancer, Jan 11 2005

       //you're suggesting that Catherine Zeta Jones might masturbate to images of Sharon Stone.//. I would perhaps like to imagine so...
gnomethang, Jan 11 2005


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