Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Arse-level Oystercard Reader

So I don't have to take it out of my pocket
  [vote for,

I carry my Oystercard in the back pocket of my trousers.

As well as mounting the readers on the top of the gates, they should put readers at arse height on the insides of the gates as well.

Then I could sashay up to the gate, and with a wiggle of the hips, I'd be through.


jtp, Sep 18 2007

On a similar note... http://www.dilbert....lbert-20070912.html
[xipetotec, Sep 19 2007]

Oyster Card http://www.tfl.gov....teronline/2732.aspx
Yep, it's a UK thing. [skinflaps, Sep 19 2007]


       Double sided Ducktape upon your sleeve, perhaps?
skinflaps, Sep 18 2007

       I did think of that, but I feared losing it down the toilet when I wipe my bottom.
jtp, Sep 18 2007

       <wiggles rearend>   

       <trying to measure my arse height and failing>   

       does my oyster look big in this? OR is this an oyster in your pocket?   

po, Sep 18 2007

       I have only one bun to give but this is one hip idea.
po, Sep 18 2007

       <imagining [jtp] looks like Sigourney Weaver and giving this a bun>
zeno, Sep 18 2007

       [Ian] - but you could still do this while avoiding arse/reader proximity, surely? Perhaps a floor-mounted reader would be better, which you would tread on if you want your card (which you slipped into your shoe before you went out) to be read.
hippo, Sep 19 2007

       Note of caution to arse-mounted oysterites: My card started going faulty after having kept it in my back-pocket for a few weeks - which is fine, until you're at the front of a long queue of people trying to get on the number 8, desperately failing to get the machine to go beep.
zen_tom, Sep 19 2007

       *Imagines* a queue of people reversing onto a bus.
skinflaps, Sep 19 2007

       Imagining [zeno] fantasizing about me whilst dressed in his Alien outfit <shudder>
jtp, Sep 19 2007

       What's inside that oystercard? Is there a type of pearl surrounded by some sort of chemical goo? - because if there is I want one.
xenzag, Sep 19 2007

       bun, in the hip pocket. (sorry, [Ian], you'll have to carry it old school style.) +
k_sra, Sep 19 2007

       I would think the Oystercard would be carried in the gentleman's front pocket. Ideally, front pockets.
bungston, Sep 19 2007

       Why go to all the expense of having a chip? A simple tattoo-barcode could be etched onto the hand, or forehead, and read by scanning lasers, like in the supermarket.
zen_tom, Sep 20 2007

       Carefully folding up alien outfit.
zeno, Sep 22 2007

       oh Macguyver, is there anything you cant do?
sprogga, Sep 25 2007

       an eighth season?
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 25 2007

       // don't know if it would really work or not // it obviously doesn't work or they'd be doing it on CSI.
marklar, Sep 25 2007

       Since when does something not working stop them from using it on CSI? Can you imagine the pasting they would get if they posted one of their scripts here?
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 25 2007

       That's ok officer! My Time Scanning Evidence-o-matic can pull evidence from how the scene was even before we showed up!   

       What does this switch do?   

       Oh, that switches it into a mode where it can pull plot twists out of my ass.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 25 2007

       I didn't like this at first but I needed it the other day coming through the turnstyles whilst carrying my coat, bag, rolling a cigarette, applying some eyeli... uh... <cough> applying some "aisle-choosing physics" and getting my oyster out. Bun. [+]
theleopard, Sep 25 2007

       cough's nasty, leopard. give up the roll ups.
po, Sep 25 2007


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