Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ass Check

Prevent embarassment
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
  [vote for,

A system similar to spell check and grammar check that checks to see if you are being an ass with the email/blog/annotation that you are about to post.

By comparing your writing style with famous asses such as Sam Kinnison, Bill Maher, Dennis Miller, and others the system can point out that what you think is a cute snarky little response is likely to piss off a lot of people.

Can also be used in reverse mode if you are a member of your countries legislative body.

Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 15 2006

Eudora Mood Watch http://www.eudora.c...ures/moodwatch.html
Content checker in the Eudora email client. [Noexit, Sep 15 2006]


       I thought this was for bitches, so they wouldn't have to ask if their ass looks fat, which it does invariably and is better to be told by a computer.
zeno, Sep 15 2006

       I think I just made my first sale.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 15 2006

       Yeah, those donkeys are sensitive.
webfishrune, Sep 15 2006

       Thank you, folks! GC and zeno will be here all week! Treat your waiter nice and have a good night. Thanks for coming.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Sep 15 2006

       I thought this was going to be an alternative payment system for use by paraplegics. <woot! woot! woot!>
zen_tom, Sep 15 2006

       well. I like it....+... I have had a several *e-fights* with one of my friends, because of replying while still in a hot headed mood, or whatever. This would alert me to wait until I calmed down before hitting 'send'.
xandram, Sep 15 2006

       Ok now, who is boning me and why?
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 15 2006

       Baked. At least for email. Eudora has a built-in feature called Mood Watch that can analyze your outgoing email for potentially inflammatory content. I think it will also check incoming email as well.
Noexit, Sep 15 2006

       The Eudora page links to a white paper that explains more about how it works. There are some phrases you wouldn't ever use politely ("the H dictionary" in the white paper), but sometimes compound phrases made out of seemingly innocent parts are more common in flames. For example, see, Heated denial ("I'm not about to..") and, Paranoid ("why is everyone").   

       Yes, snottyness is more than just certain phrases, but there are phrases that will occur more frequently when people are being snotty.
jutta, Sep 15 2006

       "May I leave my ass here?"   

       "Certainly, sir, here's your ticket."
normzone, Sep 15 2006

       [normzone] That version would be a service to wives everywhere.
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 15 2006

       Sir, did you just make an X on my ass?!?!?   

       No sir, it was a check.   

       But it felt like an X!
DesertFox, Sep 16 2006

       The ass check is in the mail.
normzone, Sep 16 2006

       "I have to save my ass!" (Shrek)   

       sp. Legislative
neelandan, Sep 16 2006


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