Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Masturbating Reward System (MRS)

corrective system to increase or decrease autistic eye contact behavior
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This is a bell shaped masturbatory vibrator attached to an accelerator that is then hooked up to software that trains the user with eye tracking -- a series of photos of faces could be crowd- source marked as to how different types of people either make or avoid eye contact and then the user could be gently encouraged to behave in either more or less autistic ways according to the crowd- sourced data, according to the path their gaze follows around the screen.
JesusHChrist, Oct 26 2011


       So, it's a form of Pavlovian training, and it relies on the assumption that rules for recognizing appropriate eye-movement can be derived from crowd-sourced photos?   

       I think the main problem with this is that the photos would lack sufficient context.   

       That is to say, correct eye-contact between two people is to some extent a function of the history between those two people, and that history is unlikely to be captured from these crowd-sourced photos in a way that translates into the right wank-strokes.   

       Similarly, correct (that is, normally accepted) eye-contact is also to some extent a function of relationships with third parties out of shot.
pertinax, Oct 26 2011

       MRS? How Very ODD
The Kat, Oct 26 2011

       I think this should be adopted for our politicians. Whenever they refrain from saying stupid things like "Let's send a message to those fat cats in Washington" or "I don't work for Wall Street, I work for main street" they get their junk tickled. Then, when they say stuff like the above, give them a mild electric shock. About 2000 volts at 5 amps should do it.
doctorremulac3, Oct 26 2011

       Operantly condition people to do X. Meh. But this version has an above-average likelihood of amusing unintended consequences.   

       [pertinax] Not Pavlovian -- that's stimulus/response, not positive/negative reinforcement. If you want an eponym, it's Skinnerian.
mouseposture, Oct 26 2011

       So it encourages learning social cues, but makes you addicted to masturbating under the eyes of strangers? hmm..
bob, Oct 26 2011

       Can I get one if I'm not autistic?
DIYMatt, Oct 27 2011

       I don't think sexually meddling with boys is going to help them necessarily achieve the goal of improving their social skills.
zen_tom, Oct 27 2011

       Ah. Thank you, [mouseposture].
pertinax, Oct 27 2011

       Personally, I we should make eye contact less.
bob, Oct 27 2011

       Don't come to Maine, then. We all make eye contact with each other when we pass, just to say hi. Sometimes folks from away get weirded out by so many people looking at them for no apparent reason.   

       You don't often see Mainers masturbating in public, however, and on the rare occasion that you do, they're pretty focused on what they're doing.
Alterother, Oct 27 2011

       This sounds like something designed to condition people to want to masturbate in social situations.
hippo, Oct 28 2011

       About eye contact during masturbation, is it? I find it extremely annoying to get it in my eyes. However, this was a strategy employed by Colonel William Prescott during the Revolutionary War, at the Battle of Bunker Hill, where he ordered, "...Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes..." because he knew they had limited... uh... oh dear, that was something else --- nevermind. Carry on. (You! In the corner near the hydrangeas! Please aim elsewhere!)
Grogster, Oct 28 2011


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