Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Backing Up Beep

how to get your coffee safely back to your desk...
  [vote for,

all office chairs should emit a beeping noise when you are reversing, like a rubbish truck. The volume of the beep is related to the weight of the person & the frequency (and beep duration) related to the speed.

so a heavy, slow roller would result in a fairly loud, bassy beep.
but a lighter, faster roller would get sharper & more urgent beeps.
mymus, May 16 2002


       Or you could just walk.
[ sctld ], May 16 2002

       i do. this is to warn me if someone is catapaulting themselves backwards out of their cubicle as i walk past with my fresh coffee. or to warn me that the person sat behind me is also rolling backwards, when i'm about to stand.
mymus, May 16 2002

       Is your real name Lucille?
FarmerJohn, May 16 2002

       Una B, i would. but with my latest set of flattened toes, i'm kinda stuck at my desk. i'm easy to spot, just look for someone wearing two tone trousers. dark grey at the base, and coffee at the top.
mymus, May 16 2002

       we issue all new employees nice shiny travel mugs, problem (more or less) solved. side benefit is that they think it is a great place to work (I just started, and already you give me this great mug??) alas we soon beat that concept out of them.
rbl, May 16 2002

       perhaps you can give them 3, one for coffee & one for each foot ? :-)
mymus, May 16 2002

       mymus, you could offer to research and introduce a health and safety policy to your workplace? Examples I've come across include things like every employee having a personal H+S contract which you work on with your supervisor - it's like personal career development, only the issues you're addressing are things like running in the corridors and holding handrails on stairs. Depending on the level of cameraderie (or lack of it) at your office, you could opt for the system where you get snitch points for spotting someone doing something potentially or actually dangerous, like scooting back to you on their wheeled chair when you are carrying coffee.

Alternatively, you could develop a paranoia about it all, and sue your employer for the emotional distress (and minor scalds) caused to you by other employees who take every opportunity to wheel into you when you are carrying coffee. Say that your employer refused to turn the coffee machine down to a non-scalding level, and that you were so distressed that you had never felt able to suggest the H+S policy because the office environment was so threatening to you. You are, however, fully prepared to sue them, and bring it out in public that way.
sappho, May 16 2002

       I'm surprised there aren't more office chair related ideas here. Gonna have to work on that...
RayfordSteele, May 16 2002

       There are/were many office chair ideas floating around - including this one's predecessor. I can't find the previous version, so it must have departed with an account holder. Further proof that all things return to the way they should be.
phoenix, May 16 2002

       LOL, I can jusst imagine all these office chairs beeping, the whole office making this unified beeping noise... Personally I am a big fan of beanbag chairs/hammocks and no cubicles. A happy workplace is a good workplace.
Bohemianqueen, May 16 2002

       actually, not sure it makes it any safer. i would feel compelled to hear what the highest speed would sound like....
or what volume 10 people on the same chair would produce.
mymus, May 17 2002

       Naturally, this idea deserves a bun, but one in which has been installed a very faint speaker that announces *very* quietly:
"Danger, Croissant Reversing...Beep!" Whenever it is put into reverse.
zen_tom, Jan 12 2011

       Fat people might take offense to their chair's beeping when they back up.   

       And yes, it would be particularly funny with fat people. Not saying it's right, just saying that's the way it is.
doctorremulac3, Jan 12 2011


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