Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)

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Bar Code Tender

Coded wall and scanning, speaking robot
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

For this inside wall you can buy bar code wallpaper, or better yet, save your own bar codes from the products you consume. In the latter case, cut them in squares and glue them to the wall in a checkerboard or wavy pattern. Cover with three coats of lacquer.

Although your attractive, striped wall in black, blue, red and green is already awesome, genuine ecstasy will arrive with your wall-traversing, scanner robot. This mechanical marvel uses active suction cups to roll back and forth across the wall in a random manner or when steered by a radio controller.

Relax in your sofa, close your eyes and listen to the movement and soft, synthetic voice of the bar code tender, “psssht…psssht…psssht…dog food, 40 lb bag, $29.99…psssht…psssht…psssht…stretch lace bra, 36-D, $26.00…psssht…psssht…psssht…Weight Watchers Cookbook, 360 pages, $13.96...”

FarmerJohn, Feb 02 2003


       I love it. You are disturbed, sir. I mean that in the nicest possible way.
waugsqueke, Feb 02 2003

       these robots, they are not at all critical of your purchases are they? they don't tut or laugh or make any other insulting noises?
po, Feb 02 2003

       That could be done. They might say, "You are disturbed, sir. I mean that in the nicest possible way."
FarmerJohn, Feb 02 2003

       No, po, that's the job of "Smart Aleck Cash Registers"
krelnik, Feb 02 2003

       FJ said it could be done.   

       are you disturbed at all? [krel] in any way at all? I have a feeling this could turn into an HB soundbite.
po, Feb 02 2003

       Not disturbed, just confused by that last anno. Can you rephrase?
krelnik, Feb 02 2003

       You said no. FJ said it could be done <sigh>   

       just a continuation of the theme, thats all
po, Feb 02 2003

       Heh, this is great! What on Earth are you farming..   

       Anyway, not entirely relevant, but my Dad works on POS systems and he once accidently swiped his shirt sleeve over a scanner to find, to his suprise, that it came up with toilet paper.
RoboBust, Feb 03 2003

       Barcode Tender, cover sheet
Never let me go
You have made my wall complete
And I psssht you so
thumbwax, Feb 03 2003

       [thumbwax] Vous êtes sur un croissant! = You're on a roll!
FarmerJohn, Feb 03 2003

DrBob, Feb 03 2003


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