h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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This one is quick and simple.. We all have standards(most of us anyway). However after a few drinks 6 = 10, 4 = 8 ... So, in order to avoid waking up with a hideous mutant freak you simply set your lowest acceptable standard on a limbo bar before you start drinking( "before" is the critical key here).
Whenever you are ready to take your god/goddess home you approach the limbo bar and if you are able to sucessfully navigate under the bar you take him/her home..if you fall flat on your ass, knockdown the bar, or pass out due to the alcohol rushing to your brain when you bend over backwards, you don't.
Just in case...
Work in progress [thumbwax, Oct 11 2000, last modified Oct 04 2004]
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||Silly...Don't you have a Coyote Ugle Tool?
||This doesn't have anything to do with whether or not the person you're bringing home is good-looking/clean/whatever, it's just about whether you can play limbo drunk.
||Hmmmm.....Drunk limbo. I suppose if you can't limbo then you would be too drunk to seriously be any judge of apperances.