Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bastard Gloves

Gloves with fingers that pinch together that surreptitously pull things from your pocket upon removal.
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The fingers of these gloves are formed from semi-rigid material, and pinch together by elastic force. The force is not so great as to hinder the movement of your own hand while wearing them. However, it is just great enough to grasp onto any currency or keys and things of that nature found in the pocket.

When these gloves are placed in a pocket they are sure to squeeze onto something. Then, when they are removed they sort of fling those things away from you, so that you can no longer have them. Once you get your hands in these gloves, they will not let you have anything else.

rcarty, Jun 19 2012

Bastard sword http://images.googl...nc2gWU1vmvCw&zoom=1
[normzone, Jun 19 2012]

Bastard wing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastard_wing
[Loris, Jun 20 2012]

Bastard title http://en.m.wikiped.../wiki/Bastard_title
[ytk, Jun 20 2012]

Bastard file http://en.wikipedia...-2ndCut-Bastard.jpg
[calum, Jun 20 2012]

[link]






       I thought it was gonna be gloves with thumbs on the opposite sides than usual.
FlyingToaster, Jun 19 2012
  

       "They never even knew their father!"   

       Bastard means terrible, I like the word, and fatherlessness holds no significance for me.
rcarty, Jun 20 2012
  

       Since the original connotation of bastard was; a child unacknowledged by its father, I've wondered a few times what the etymology of bastard-sword was.
Not enough to look it up for myself yet mind you...
  

       but soon.   

       From ytk's link I see now that bastard is very appropriate for the halfbakery as it can be taken to mean half.   

       Therefore, [marked-for-tagline]:   

       "The mother of invention's bastard child."
rcarty, Jun 20 2012
  

       "I should like to purchase a bastard file."   

       "Language, Sir!"   

       "No, No, it is a file whose teeth are between 'Coarse' and 'Second Cut'.   

       "Very well, then, here you are"   

       "I will also be needing one of those rough motherfuckers."
nomocrow, Jun 21 2012
  

       You can sort of hear bleeding nose in that one, just about the time of being struck in the head.
rcarty, Jun 21 2012
  

       <Ronnie Barker>   

       "Four Candles..."   

       </Ronnie Barker>
8th of 7, Jun 21 2012
  

       <Shopkeeper>   

       "... in the fork queue, sir."   

       </S>
UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012
  

       so this is some kind of Tourettes syndrome for gloves?
not_morrison_rm, Jun 23 2012
  
      
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