Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bee On A Stick

It'll give you a real buzz! Sorry.
  [vote for,

Catch a bee (or several) in a jar of some sort. Make sure there are airholes. Place the jar in the freezer, bee(s) inclusive, for approximately ten minutes. The bee(s) will have become drowsy and slow, unable to react to your actions. Gently affix string around the bee(s)' necks at one end and tie the other end to a thin pole. IMPORTANT: the pole must be longer than the string and still have room for a handhold. The bee(s) will 'defrost' after a short while, in perfect health, and you will have your own pet bee(s) on a stick. This may work with other insects but I have not tried it, though it does work with bees for certain.
harderthanjesus, Aug 18 2004

(??) Bee on a stick http://www.freewebs...l_patterns/Bee.html
Just get one of these and save the hassle [skinflaps, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

"Bee" there or "Bee" square! http://wgordon.web.wesleyan.edu/foods.htm
[phundug, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Free Powered Model Aircraft http://www.ebaumswo...om/flyaircraft.html
I love the reference to them as 'engines' [Sattamassagana, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       I like bees but what the f*ck would you want a bee pet for???
Machiavelli, Aug 18 2004

       How long is it till it dies and what do you do with it then?
scubadooper, Aug 18 2004

       Didn't they bake this on Jackass or something? I'm sure I saw a TV programme where this was done...
DocBrown, Aug 18 2004

       Also baked by Gerald Durrell in 'My family and other animals' with a beetle in place of a bee
scubadooper, Aug 18 2004

       Does the bee have sufficient strength to lift the string, that is, to fly about your stick or does the bee, puny and exhausted, simply tend earthwards like a winged plumb?
calum, Aug 18 2004

       No! No! and No!   

       Domestication of 'pet' animals is only morally acceptable when the pet benefits too. I suspect a Bee would rather be with its bee mates doing bee stuff than poncing about on the end of your stick.   

       Here's hoping a bee rebel breaks free from your bondage and exacts its stingy revenge on you!
dobtabulous, Aug 18 2004

       For bees on strings, see "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil"
ldischler, Aug 18 2004

       I planted my bee stick in my lavender. They seemed pretty happy. For a while.   

       Admittedly, I should have done more research into bees so I could have looked after them better.
harderthanjesus, Aug 18 2004

       Hmm, a locust stick could be a great way of annoying evil neighbours too. Plant them in their flowers while they're at work.
harderthanjesus, Aug 18 2004

       // what the f*ck would you want a bee pet for //   

       To teach you to dance, of course!
phundug, Aug 18 2004

       harderthanjesus, I sell locusts.
django, Aug 18 2004

       "Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say..." </grandpa simpson>
phundug, Aug 18 2004

       June bugs are perfect for this. I used to grab some dental floss and almost tie a know in one end. The knot was left open, like a loop. Take the loop and put it on a june bug's legs, when they grab it just pull the knot around their leg. They fly off, but now you have a leash. Let the string go, and you can watch the beetle fly away with his newfound tail. Easy to catch too. Just grab the string. Cut the string off and they fly away happy.
destructionism, Aug 18 2004

       He said he found nirvana after I cut the string off.
destructionism, Aug 18 2004

       Was he disappointed when you told him Kurt Cobain is dead?
Machiavelli, Aug 18 2004

       I just didn't have the heart to...he looked so content.
destructionism, Aug 18 2004

       Eric the half bee was well loved.
python, Aug 21 2004

       Nice! Funny as hell and I'll give you a bun if you incorporate [oniony]'s vegan alternative which made me laugh just as much.   

       BTW, regarding your profile, any Christian who is offended to think that you could actually be harder than Jesus needs to consider what Jesus would think. I reckon he'd agree.   

       Bugger it, I'll give you the bun anyway.
stilgar, Aug 22 2004

       I can't help myself-bun
skinflaps, Aug 23 2004

       what about fish?
etherman, Aug 23 2004

harderthanjesus, Aug 23 2004

       I did this with Wasps when I was a kid.   

       It's not that tricky as you make out. Just take a twig and make a small hole in it. take a tread and make a noose. Then put the thread throught the twig and lasoo yourself a wasp when he is on the flowers. The thread doesnt even have to be shorter than the stick because you can adjust the length in mid flight. Most of the time the fly round so enthusiastically that you want to give them a bit more string. There is little or no danger of getting stung because they are so keen they just keep flying in a circle. The best part is when you let them go and watch them fly off with the heavy load. ( 1m of thread weights quite a lot but they are quite capable of flying off with it).   

       Also see wasp frankenstien with salt. (Drown wasp in water till he stops moving then poor salt on him and watch him fly away....)   

       If you still have the time you might try rocket wasp or crispy roast wasp. Flightless Wasp vs The Ants.
PainOCommonSense, Aug 23 2004

       Do you have a job involving torturing arthropods by any chance?
Cats Whiskers, Aug 23 2004

       I was stung badly when I was a kid (albiet for accidentally tearing their home apart while looking for fire wood) but I have had a grudge ever since.
PainOCommonSense, Aug 23 2004

       cats, wasps, W.A.S.P.S three evilest species on earth, in that order.
etherman, Aug 23 2004

       I propose a war on "evilest species". We can highlight the Axis of Evil and possibly use thermobaric weaponry against them. (With acceptable civilian losses)
PainOCommonSense, Aug 23 2004

       I'm siding with the cats, even if I am of Norman descent.
harderthanjesus, Aug 23 2004

       In what way are wasps evil? They're insects. I don't believe they have the necessary mental capacity to make moral or ethical decisions.   

       And bone for the idea. Many bee on stick means no bee in bee hive means no honey. Boo
squeak, Aug 23 2004

       The common misconception that wasps are evil comes from the late summer fermentation of fruit. (bare with me a moment while I ramble). Wasps collect sugar from the fruits, but because there is so much fruit just rotting, the intoxication of the insects makes them confused and hence angry at anything. The normal defence mechanism kicks in and they start following carbon dioxide trails to track down nasty nest smashing furry mammals. My guess is this serves the purpose of helping defend a food source hence serving an evolutionary benefit which is exacerbated by our factory farming and orchards. (Don't like evil wasps? Stop breathing.)
PainOCommonSense, Aug 23 2004

       [POCS] Really? I've never been attacked by an enraged wasp in late sumer in an orchard although I shall try my best to be this year in order to test your theory.   

       And I do think it rather forward of you to invite me to engage in simultaneous nudity with you, we hardly know each other (not that that's ever stopped me before).
squeak, Aug 23 2004

       Good grief! My uncle used to do this with horse flies when I was a kid (to amuse us 6 year old boys)   

       ... yeah, I'll vouch for it working, but it's not new, and not much of an invention.   

       I'll have to give this one a fishbone on a stick.
zigness, Aug 23 2004

       Bees = Honey. Honey is goooood.   

       Wasps = Can't think of anything that they do which is useful. So, put them on a stick!! Excellent, can't wait for summer to try this out.
Emi-chan, Aug 23 2004

       Have you never tried wasperry jam?   

       I am pretty sure that wasps would really interfere with rambling naturists.
PainOCommonSense, Aug 24 2004

       OK, to add an element of freshness to this idea I propose this extension.   

       Secure thousands of wasps on string. Affix them to the front of a small boat sans sails. Attach a long stick with a sugary treat on the end that is maneuverable left and right which extends beyond the reach of the wasps. Mess about on a river.
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       I propose a giant peach propelled by literally millions of these little creatures.
PainOCommonSense, Aug 24 2004

       I propose we set up a seperate state where we send all wasps to live, preferably a small island in the pacific, which also doubles as a prison/death by stinging island for criminals and/or children's tv presenters.   

       Oh,oh... we could cover them in jam before sending them there.
etherman, Aug 24 2004

       So, we're down to caterpillar on a stick.
FarmerJohn, Aug 24 2004

       Today on Insect Forum: Minibeasts and Sticks, a dangerous combination? What do you think Dan?
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       caterpillar with a wasp inside it on a stick. two critters for the price of one!
etherman, Aug 24 2004

       I'm sorry Rod I dont think you can indearwasps to us by arguing that they kill butterflies!   

       You mind me of my uncle Bob who told me wee sister that every time she sneezes an angel dies. She nearly suffocated trying to hold them in.
etherman, Aug 24 2004

       But butterflies are pretty... AH! Pretty Rod... say it... say they're pretty...good.   

       Also your description of the lives of caterpillars almost exactly mirrors that of several undergraduates I know and surely noone is suggesting a similar fate for them now...are you... hmmm
etherman, Aug 24 2004

       //They eat and shit. That's all they do for their entire duration as a caterpillar.//what do want 'em to do, man? a song and dance routine?
po, Aug 24 2004

       what about getting them to do a slightly abridged Othello?
etherman, Aug 24 2004

       I always wondered how she slowly died of suffucation after the pillow had been removed.
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       /a song and dance routine?/   

       Close. When fully grown, they look pretty, and they entertain. In today's mixed up world, that's more than enough to justify their existence, despite doing nothing productive and being a destructive pest.   

       Wasps, on the other hand, perform a function which is indirectly very useful to humans, but because a minority are annoying when drunk and they can sometimes react when threatened, they are almost universally reviled.   

       My normally placid girlfriend, who argues in defence of all things furry and boycotts zoos, took great delight in smearing a dismembered wasp corpse over the patio with her shoe at the weekend. It only wanted a taste of her Beer!
egbert, Aug 24 2004

       //When fully grown, they look pretty, and they entertain. In today's mixed up world, that's more than enough to justify their existence, despite doing nothing productive and being a destructive pest.//
Like rappers?

       //took great delight in smearing a dismembered wasp corpse over the patio with her shoe at the weekend. It only wanted a taste of her Beer!//
That's what I do to anyone who tries to take my beer too.
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       //who argues in defence of all things furry and boycotts zoos// it occurred to me that it was rather strange (as I coldly disposed of a spider up the vacuum)that I should mourn one life and yet have such complete disregard for another. mind you I didn't know the spider, we were never even introduced.
po, Aug 24 2004

       But from the skirtingboards came a heartstruck cry;   

       "Jimmy! Noooo!"
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       never get introduced to a spider, you have to spend ages shaking their hands.
etherman, Aug 24 2004

       Butterflies on a stick!!
Emi-chan, Aug 24 2004

       Do they eat bees in Japan? I remember hearing of "sweet young bee" with some kind of sauce on a menu, but I don't remember which menu.
phundug, Aug 24 2004

       "Stormy Petrel onna Stick!"
gnomethang, Aug 24 2004


       Never heard of that one myself. They're not really into bug eating in Japan. Although I don't think the Chinese are too fussy. Maybe they do.   

       I wonder if they have a honey flavour..
Emi-chan, Aug 24 2004

       I suspect the stings would irritate the palate [phundung]. The Japanese tend to snack on normal things like mashed up chicken guts, octupus balls and wasabi covered peas. You know, the usual.
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       On the [link] scroll down to hachi no ko. Honey 25¢ extra :)   

       P.S. Some of the dishes listed sound tasty! I hope to try inago (grasshoppers) sometime; I know a restaurant in NYC that has them.
phundug, Aug 24 2004

       I wish I could say I'm surprised. Just disappointed.
harderthanjesus, Aug 24 2004

       See link... a far more useful use for your 'engines'
Sattamassagana, Aug 25 2004

       Deep-fried grasshopper. Mmm...nice and crunchy
bonsai_rainbow, Aug 25 2004

       Deep fried Dennis Hopper on grass: mmm far out
etherman, Aug 25 2004

       I would pay good money for a parot on a stick. (As long as it isn't nailed to it.)
PainOCommonSense, Aug 25 2004

       or impailed on it
etherman, Aug 25 2004


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