Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bidet in a bottle

Inspired by “Hygienic Heinie Wipes”
  [vote for,

I’m in Japan half a dozen times a year, and gotta tell you all, they have the scheissen wipe’n problem licked. Most toilets (at home) have fully computerized toilet seat attachments that, at the press of a button, pressure wash and blow-dry your sushi exhaust port.

My idea is this, and really, it’s just for camping: a bottle that you fill with water that can be manually pressurized with air (that’s been done), with a special bidet attachment that mimics what the Japanese "washlets" do. That is, it allows you to aim and spray with minimal contortionism. Hmmmm…. It could even have pressurized air for the drying stage too.

TIB, Feb 01 2005


       Could you use it as a squirt gun too? (Hygenic squirt gun)
robinism, Feb 01 2005

       They have the problem licked? LICKED?   

kmlabs, Feb 01 2005

       [TIB] Any fool can use a squeeze bottle , or this automatic squeeze bottle, as a source of arse rinsing water. The real art is in the aim , angle and pressure. On a tour of the Toto factory, I learned how they had measured thousands upon thousands of arses, freckles, vulvas, sacks, grundles, baunches, biffins, chodes and 'taint regions before designing the ideal 'angle of attack' for the little nozzle that comes out. Their engineers then spent decades researching the pressure and temperature of the water stream - who likes what water where etc etc....one of the largest consumer research projects ever undertaken.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 01 2005

       hows that for a turd in your coffee? ay?
JesusHChrist, Feb 02 2005

       I hear ya [ConsulFlaminicus]!   

       Did I mention my top of the line model is laser guided, gyroscopically-stabilized (to maintain that perfect angle of attack while shoulder-checking for bears), and has an optional waterpik attachment for cleaning the sushi intake port?   

       Seriously though, those washlets are simply amazing! The pleasure… The practicality…   

       I thank you for the Toto information, and shall never take being de-dagged for granted again! I do wonder: were the “subjects” in the Toto research employees at the lab, or contracted for this crappy job? I’m just trying to imagine looking my coworker in the eyes the next morning after shooting his ‘taint with a stream of warm water, then pulling out the calipers for some raw data gathering… Which is the worse job, receiver of arse cleansing, or giver of arse cleansing? And what if the cleansing was botched, say, by water that was too hot and under too much pressure? Could you ever forgive Tanakasan for such an enima?   

       Sorry, I have more questions than answers…
TIB, Feb 02 2005

       Soda syphon - it's already got the angled nozzle - a bit of cheek clenching should press the lever. Et voilà - a refreshing carbonated de-dagging.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 02 2005

       [CF] Once again, I am amazed at the breadth of expertise here.
hippo, Feb 02 2005

       [TIB] There was a concerted effort to 'internationalize' the data collection, using (ahem) postgrad students and others desperate for a 2,000 yen participation fee. The test set up...(so a 'friend' told me)... was a large room with a seat apparatus on a little stage in the middle. About six engineers present. Data collected by analysing video footage and test subject interrogation.   

       [UB] Toto did try to get data from some Australian females, but the Maps of Tasmania skewed the data set too much. The 'Australian Virgin' data set is also mysteriously empty, so, if any readers are Australian virgins, the Toto washlet has not repeat not been designed with your needs in mind.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 02 2005


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