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Black hole urinal

  (+13, -1)(+13, -1)
(+13, -1)
  [vote for,

Attach a series of small black holes to the wall of the mens' room. Easy to clean, odourless.

Don't stand too close (spaghetti effect). May be prone to build-up along the event horizon.

tatterdemalion, Mar 27 2012

Relativistic Jet http://en.wikipedia...ki/Relativistic_jet
A distinct danger with this scheme. [AntiQuark, Mar 29 2012]

Physicists Create "Urine Black Holes" To Solve the Splashback Problem http://gizmodo.com/...the-spla-1743937091
So it begins. [tatterdemalion, Nov 28 2015]

Stability of micro black holes https://en.wikipedi...lack_hole#Stability
(or lack thereof) [kdf, May 21 2020]

The strange death of Louis Slotin https://www.newyork...ath-of-louis-slotin
Man made gamma ray burst,74 years ago today [kdf, May 21 2020]

Construction of Black Hole Starship https://arxiv.org/pdf/0908.1803.pdf
Not trivial - urinal manufacturers unlikely to attempt it [kdf, May 21 2020]

https://scontent.fy...ffbc37b&oe=5ED4D1C0 [2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 22 2020]


       How about I stand sort of close for an hour or so every day?
baconbrain, Mar 27 2012

       There seem to be some non-singularity prototypes around here. They feel pretty good, but they make strange noises when you start urinating.
spidermother, Mar 27 2012

       This is not the sort of idea that should be ridiculed. Doesn't anyone understand the gravity of the situation?
Ling, Mar 28 2012

       I think you might need the old lead y-fronts for the radiation, Hawking or otherwise. Apart from that, a perfectly sound idea.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 28 2012

       How do you attach them? I suppose you could nail them to a planck.
pocmloc, Mar 28 2012

       Why limit it to urinals? Seems like it would also be an effective way to dispose of, er, dark matter.
ytk, Mar 28 2012

       I can't help but imagine there will be someone on the other end of the black hole thinking, "...what the hell???..."   

       I highly approve. Let 'em eat cake. [+]
Grogster, Mar 28 2012

       Via the spaghetti effect, the user standing too close would have the longest and thinnest penis in the world--at least in that microsecond before it snapped off.
ldischler, Mar 28 2012

       The potential for this idea to go disastrously and horribly wrong in a large number of different and unpredictable ways is almost infinite.   

8th of 7, Mar 28 2012

       These would also help with ventilation.
bungston, Mar 28 2012

       Well now I'm sure that somebody's just taking the piss...   

       How about we just insert the black hole right into the bladder? There would never be a need for a urinal, anywhere.   

       What is the ration of urinals to men, anyhow? If there aren't enough black holes for every man's bladder, we might have to parcel them out to urinals, as originally suggested.
baconbrain, Mar 29 2012

       I give a [+} for nobody mentioning a "brown hole". Oh... I just did.
AusCan531, Mar 29 2012

       Well, worm-hole will never have same connotation for me again that's for sure.   

       Bonus: As they absorb more matter, they become troughs, and could be moved to the restrooms of minor-league baseball stadia.
shapu, Mar 29 2012

       Unfortunately, if you didn't aim directly at the center, an accretion disk of urine would form, along with a relativistic jet of plasma, which of course would incinerate all life forms in said men's room. Still, [+]
AntiQuark, Mar 29 2012

       //incinerate all life forms in said men's room// "Sterilized, for your protection."
mouseposture, Mar 29 2012

       At least you'd have a place to sweep the ashes into.
AusCan531, Mar 30 2012

       Standing next to one of my dark-skinned cow-orkers once, both of us using those urinals that go from floor to waist, I said -   

       " Wow, this water is cold ! "   

       Not missing a beat, he added -   

       " And deep too ! "
normzone, Nov 28 2015

       I think it would have to be a small black hole and you would have to state several miles from it or else it will suck you into it.
travbm, Nov 28 2015

       So in other words, nothing out of the ordinary...
RayfordSteele, Nov 28 2015

       //" And deep too ! "//   

       I really hope you got that from the excellent film "slingblade" - although I suspect it's more common than that.
Custardguts, Nov 29 2015

       Technically, small singularities are possible, in fact probable, and many may have survived from the early days of the universe (primordial micro black holes). There would only be two problems with using them. 1) We've never found any. 2) They can only be positioned using antimatter and we haven't found any of that either.   

       Nice idea though.
wagster, May 21 2020

       Technically, small singularities are possible, in fact probable, and many may have survived from the early days of the universe (primordial micro black holes). There would only be two problems with using them. 1) We've never found any. 2) They can only be positioned using antimatter and we haven't found any of that either.   

       Nice idea though.
wagster, May 21 2020

       "Technically, small singularities are possible, in fact probable..."
Nope. They evaporate. (link)
kdf, May 21 2020

       Ah yes, but from your link: A primordial black hole with an initial mass of around 10 to the power of 12 kg would be completing its evaporation today
wagster, May 21 2020

       A trillion kilograms would require a significant support structure just to house a urinal. I'm trying to think of other things that massive for comparison... A good sized mountain perhaps? Not Everest or Denali, something smaller.
kdf, May 21 2020

       No no, it would have been a trillion kg when it was born during the big bang. Most of that would have evaporated by now - today it would be roughly big enough to pop into a bathroom and held captive by antigravity clamps that erm... were in turn affixed to something that didn't automatically annihilate on contact with antimatter... because... magic bathroom or something.
wagster, May 21 2020

       I don't think the evaporation rate is linear. It'd stay damn near the same 10^12 for most of its lifetime, slowly leaking gamma rays, until it got below some critical threshold, and then the biggest gamma fart you'd never want to be within smelling distance of.   

       Edit to add (a few minutes later): To imagine what using the black hole urinal would be like, revisit "The Strange Death of Louis Slotin" (link).
kdf, May 21 2020

       If I remember my figures correctly... if you've a black hole the mass of a good sized office tower, you can keep it from evaporating by feeding it 10 or so tons of ... well, whatever you like, I suppose... every second.   

       Very much the "camel through the eye of a needle", naturally.   

       Downside is - unless you're thinking space travel which is what the calcs were for - the 10 tonnes worth of gamma rays and assorted subatomic flotsam and jetsam coming out of it every second. Bear in mind that the juicy bits of atom bombs are measured in kilograms, not tonnes.
FlyingToaster, May 21 2020

       Black holes can have electrostatic charge, which means that if you feed them either electrons or positive ions you can polarize them and then manipulate them with simple electric or magnetic fields.
8th of 7, May 21 2020

       Okay 8th, you’re hired to “manipulate” the thing into position. Be sure to look close and check the alignment - while wagster or I flip the switch to give you a nuclear swirly.
kdf, May 22 2020

       Nice. That's the fixings sorted then. So we take an old black hole from the big bang, trap it with a few magnets and pop it into the bathroom. The only issue left is those pesky gamma rays. I suggest we build remote-controlled peeing robots to go in there and do our peeing for us.
wagster, May 22 2020

       Peeing Robot

kdf, May 22 2020

       //urinal manufacturers unlikely to attempt it//   

       [kdf] your thinking is back-to-front. The Black Hole Starship will, if it is to carry humans, have urinals installed in it. Therefore, Black Hole Starship manufacturers will be extremely likely to also manufacture urinals.
pocmloc, May 22 2020

       The Black Hole Starship will create a massive Higgs Boson field ahead of itself, thus creating gravity without actual physical mass.   

       The Black Hole Urinal probably won't do that because - after the bosons disappear - you're stuck with very unhappy degenerate urine.
FlyingToaster, May 22 2020

       It's all about accessorizing. [link]   


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