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Blood Printer

For those who want to send death threats professionally...
  [vote for,

Few people realise the problems that homicidal maniacs have when writing a death threat in their own blood. It hurts, is messy and often stains the desk beneath the paper.

I propose a printer with a finger-sized slot in the side. After the death threat is sent to the printer via a scanner, you press the "blood" button on the side of the printer (which also configures the printer for the viscosity and stickiness of human blood) and insert a finger into the slot. The correct amount of blood is then taken from the inserted digit using a syringe at the end of the slot and used to print the document.

You can then sit back and watch as a neat, legible death-threat is printed in a safe and (relatively) painless method, ready to be sent to the recipient of your choice.

Mr Phase, Nov 08 2005

Blood Printer ~bz [bristolz, Nov 08 2005]

just feed this into your printer... bleedin_92_20paper
[po, Nov 08 2005]

A healthy alternative Blood_20Pen
[daseva, Nov 09 2005]

Ink cartridge refill kit http://www.healinge...uctImages/13059.jpg
[Shz, Nov 09 2005]


       //It hurts, is messy and often stains the desk beneath the paper// - you mean you tried it ?
xenzag, Nov 08 2005

       This might be useful as an emergency option when you are low on ink.
normzone, Nov 08 2005

       Another use I've just thought of is for those suicidal business men who want a professional and sincere suicide note - you write out the note and then print it multiple times, in blood, until you bleed to death.
Mr Phase, Nov 08 2005

       Very nice idea [+]. Slight problems being that blood has a tendency to spread, so you would need some pretty heavy letter spacing.   

       Also the alternative use wouldn't work. However suicidal you are, you won't be able to keep a part of your body in place by your own volition, while you slowly bleed to death unless your body part is held there. In which case, the company that sells these would be likely be facing some kind of criminal case. And a bill for lots of wasted paper.
hidden truths, Nov 08 2005

       I thought homicidal maniacs used their victims blood to leave messages, not their own? Or are there homicidal masochists in the world?
DrCurry, Nov 08 2005

       They use their own blood to send notes to the victim, and then the victims blood to send notes to the ever-chasing-1-step-behind police team.   

       (You've never watched CSI?)
Germanicus, Nov 08 2005

       <groan alert/ I presume the .pdf version could be viewed on a plasma screen? /ga>
Adze, Nov 08 2005

       Be an interesting twist for a resume. Or maybe clipped newspaper letters...
RayfordSteele, Nov 09 2005

       Lovely illustration, thanks [bristolz]
Mr Phase, Nov 09 2005

       "Damn inkjet's clogged again!" - The 'blood' cartridge for your injet printer would have to contain some anticoagulants, but otherwise an excellent idea.
hippo, Nov 09 2005

       Funny, sick, bun! "How many copies do you need?" "One! Just one!"
elhigh, Nov 09 2005

       Hey come on guys, I want my idea to achieve the eternal greatness of 2.5 buns - just one more is needed.
Mr Phase, Dec 23 2005

       Damn ! Another paper jam ! I'm getting dizzy...
normzone, Dec 23 2005

       They really get their pound of flesh when you buy ink these days.
Spacecoyote, Jan 21 2009

       Money saving tip number 337: to cut down on the cost of ink...
hidden truths, Jan 21 2009

       //'blood' cartridge ...contain some anticoagulants//
Couldn't mosquitoes be employed to this end?

       You'd also be able to use blood-printed envelopes to flush out any vampire members of the postal service by watching for open drooling, or envelope licking behaviours.
zen_tom, Jan 21 2009


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