h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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I have been looking up different plants that I can add to my backyard garden. I one day thought of coffee, so I looked it up. Coffee is a picky plant.
Coffee won't grow well outside of the Tropics & Gormet coffee seems to grow well only at altitude. A freeze will destroy the plant that takes 3
years to fruit.
The Terrarium would have the low light lamps imitating shade and also a humidifier that maintains the plant's preferred humidy level. A heater is included to maintain the plants perferred temp & avoid temp fluctuations.
A roaster, grinder, and coffee brewer should be stationed near by so that the appointed coffee dude can maintain the bonsais, harverst them, roast, grind, and brew the coffee. That's job security if there ever was.
Lastly, I couldn't find any reference of making a bonsai out of a coffee plant (coffee aribicus - I think), but I did see that there have been many other plants "bonsai'd" and fruiting versions in some cases produce a large amount of fruit.
Colombian coffee federation
[methinksnot, Mar 26 2006]
||Add a small air pump to reduce the pressure in the terrarium and mimic high-altitude growing conditions
Volcanic soils are best, try to keep your terrarium pressure at the equivalent of about 2300 meters above sea level.
||Have this croissant with your coffee.
||No sooner had I posted my idea "Beethoven's Bonsai Brew" I discovered your post! Of course in places where coffee grows naturally people can and do grab beans off the bush and roast them on the spot. Might be simpler to just move to the tropics!