Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Booze & Skin

(to calm militant arabs)
(+2, -2)
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After many of the freedom fighters in the Middle East left for Afghanistan to fight the Soviets, they decided to stay there (I think their various homelands were elated with this arrangement). So Afghanistan is now loaded with criminal types, possibly not unlike those that populated Australia some time ago. The main difference I see in Australia is that they have beer and scantily-clad women... I say we ship some of this to Afghanistan --- it should calm them right down.
zoroaster, Sep 22 2001

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       Slight problem, they are both banned and very illegal in any Muslim country. You would get capital punishment for even suggesting the idea.
rudiedude, Sep 22 2001

       The earliest Australian convicts were mainly either petty criminals, people at the wrong side of somebody’s vendetta, or Irish Catholics. The rebellions and uprisings experienced in Colonial New South Wales were generally stopped not because of rum and women, but because the predominantly Anglican government bit the bullet and legalised Catholic worship.
sdm, Sep 22 2001

       Ya, read "The Fatal Shore" by Robert Hughes for a good history of the settlement of Oz.   

       I don't think this is the way to approach the problem of an intractable Afghanistan. One might do better to encourage greater and greater fundamentalism on the theory that a religion taken to its ultimate becomes a reductio ad absurdum.
Dog Ed, Sep 22 2001

       Dog Ed: Exactly how much further could they take it? Thinking, if you gave them long enough, they'd probably evolve into a society where playing football was punishable by death but wiping out whole cities for no reason got you into heaven.   

       The reason fundamentalism's so attractive is because it's cheap, it doesn't require any fancy equipment, you don't have to do any exercise, you can kill pretty much anyone you don't like, and there's generally several good ways to abuse, enslave and/or marry lots of women.   

       I think letting them all join rap or heavy metal bands might be a good alternative. We might have to subsidise their drumkits, though.
pottedstu, Sep 22 2001, last modified Sep 23 2001

       "If you gave them long enough, they'd probably evolve into a society where playing football was punishable by death but wiping out whole cities for no reason got you into heaven."   

       Baked. The reason those <censoreds> are so willing to do something cowardly and stupid is that it supposedly gets them a VIP seat in their paradise.
StarChaser, Sep 22 2001

       rudiedude & sdm: Thanks for the 3rd-grade history and cultural lessons. Guess I'll have to be a bit more obvious with my sarcasm in the future. Dog Ed has the idea; I'm in!
zoroaster, Sep 29 2001


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