h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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In common with men all over the world, my eyes get drawn to ladies' behinds. There's nothing I can do about it; I apologise.
Recently I notice, despite the apparent discomfort and resistance from some, the thong has taken hold; it now has a firm grip of the underwear market with the result that smoothness
abounds, untrammelled by visible panty lines.
The possibilities for using this smooth expanse as prime advertising space can no longer be ignored.
I propose that undergarment manufacturers re-introduce the visible panty line but no longer in the form of a simple line.
Instead, by using suitable raised stitching and other cunning technologies, introduce logos, corporate branding and subtle advertising intended to be visible through the outer garment.
At a single stroke, women will be out of their thongs and into something altogether more comfortable, men will no longer have to pretend not to look and advertising agencies will have a whole new market to play in.
Celebrities will be able to produce their signature knickers, suitably autographed with the side effect that removal of the garment will leave an impression on the skin for an hour or so.
The surge into knickers starts today.
http://www.smartass...iceCat=2&Lang=EN-US
[half, Nov 21 2007]
Old cartoon from Playboy
http://www.clivecol...oons.com/pic43.html
Along these same lines. [shapu, Nov 21 2007]
[link]
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"Is that a surge in your knickers, or...?" |
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//other cunning technologies// Cunning linguistic technologies? |
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crackers. it's hard enough to avoid the butt-bound eye. i don't need tommy hilfiger's help! |
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I just the other day saw a segment on CNBC's "Big Idea: Donny Deutsch" about two women who are printing messages on thongs. Not the same, but related. (link) |
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Not sure why a story like that would stick in my mind. |
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Nothing but a cock ring and a smile? |
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This will go nicely with the "Sperm Dumpster" babydoll shirt. |
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+ I like it, as long as men must wear them, also.
*Space For Rent* |
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\\//What am I wearing?//
Nothing but a cock ring and a smile?\\ |
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Coming soon - the Halfbakery Appetite Suppressant. |
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"Braided Panties" - for people who get their knickers in a twist. |
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[...as long as men must wear them, also...] |
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I can't comment on the male rear but my wife informs me that... |
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"The unadorned male buttock may be the next opportunity to be grasped." |
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If they want to look at my butt, I don't care. Why do the ladies dislike it? I really don't get it. And also, why do they dress provocitively and then expect us not to stare? Is it some kind of secret game? they only want gay guys? They only want guys so over-sexed or perverted that they don't care? |
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We don't mind being *looked* at, talked to etc. (most of us), we just don't like being letched over or gawped at unblinkingly by hairy-palmed pervos who are obviously building up a mental library of wank material. |
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//why do they dress provocitively and then expect us not to stare?// |
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I repeat, it's the staring that's the problem. |
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//Is it some kind of secret game? // |
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<sticks out neck>
Well, in a sense, it is. The game in question is largely about women positioning themselves in relation to other women - "I want to look at least as attractive as *her*, but not as tarty as *her*". |
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A man's role in this game is usually incidental. Never forget the tee-shirt which says, on the front, "I'm looking for a man..." and, on the back, "...but not you!". The reason why "not you" is often related to male incompetence in judging personal space and non-verbal communication. (There are women who are similarly incompetent, but they are much rarer). |
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The trouble with staring is that it's ambiguous. It may mean that he doesn't realize he's making her uncomfortable (just as she doesn't realize she's aggressively monopolized his attention without his consent). On the other hand, it may mean that he knows perfectly well he's making her uncomfortable, and he's doing it on purpose as a kind of bullying. |
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//If they want to look at my butt, I don't care.// If you'd ever had this from someone who was doing it purely to demonstrate her power over you, you might feel differently.
</sticks out neck> |
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Stigmata? Err, no... I cut myself shaving. |
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Stigmata are holes, not hairs. |
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I once saw a great reaction to tit-gawping. Bloke went over to talk to a woman and said "Hi, I'm John" whilst staring directly at her chest. The woman took hold of her breasts and jiggled one then the other, saying "Hi, I'm Jane's right tit, Hi, I'm Jane's left tit" in a squeaky voice. |
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That *is* a great reaction. I suppose the only answer to that would be to carry on the conversation on that basis -
"So, how long have you two known each other?", etc. |
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// holes, not hairs.// Er, yes, hence 'cut'. |
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<pompous academic>
The use of 'pervert' and its cognates is strikingly gender-differentiated. When men say 'pervert', they are usually talking about someone whose desires are in themselves different from the norm. When women say 'pervert', they are often talking about someone whose desires are, in themselves, perfectly normal, but who fail to mediate those desires through acceptable social interactions. |
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In so far as innately weaker social skills can be correlated with typically male brain structure, the latter means that to be masculine is to be perverted. |
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Meanwhile, in so far as the most common difference to which men apply 'pervert' is still homosexuality, the former means that to be feminine (but male) is to be perverted. |
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The only sense that 'perve' has in both cases is 'man who makes me uncomfortable because his sexuality is expressed differently from mine'.
</pompous academic> |
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I've named my new branded ladies' underwear collection "Pervert". I'll deliberately make the branding small and relatively hard to read when viewed on the buttock. The "pervert" label cannot be applied to women so when men read it, they will know it's aimed at them. |
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I have never really minded men looking at me.(sometimes it's even flattering) The terrible thing is that if they are with their wife or girlfriend, the looks I get from them are absolutely terrifying! |
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You could use the front as well as the
back. The Mazda logo could be quite
nicely rendered. |
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[MB] - it might chafe a bit. |
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This is classic "Do not let your boss see at work" material |
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