Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Underwear for Software or Hardware

Keep your private parts private and apart
  (+8, -4)
(+8, -4)
  [vote for,

Awakened by the cock's crow, my sheet taunt in a testosterone tent and my thoughts flitting between my late Lucille and the milking machine, I came upon this idea: a pair of underpants tailor-made for the male genitalia. The drawers would have a member-only banana bag that would be comfy and snug for the private, whether he be at attention or retreating from the cold. Below would hang a ball bra that would always feel cozy, whether the goods are high and dry or low and loose and full of juice. The buns would be flatteringly encased for the approval of lady friends. The textile would be elastic and airy to eliminate sweat and itching (a real problem if you shave).

Don't come to me with boxers that hike up your legs, wedgie-wannabe briefs, drop-pants bikinis that slide off athletic pelvises or shit-strip thongs that give a view in the mirror that ain't purtty. The women folks have got their gel enhancers and drip pads, so all I'm asking for is a fair shake for the Dicks, Peters and Willies of the world.

FarmerJohn, May 18 2002

Koala Swimwear http://www.koalaswim.com
Baked. [waugsqueke, May 20 2002]


       this sounds very nice and comfortable, dear and I am all for comfort in this world. can I just ask what exactly is a taunt sheet?
po, May 18 2002

       You probably thought I meant "taut" but lucky for me, "taunt" also means "very tall: said of a ship's mast".
FarmerJohn, May 18 2002

       Conversely, the bedbugs are taunting him
thumbwax, May 18 2002

       Ouch, that hurt!
FarmerJohn, May 18 2002

       this would make shoping for underware so much more embarrising
i-Mer, May 19 2002

       How would you stop your membrum virile from slipping out of the tube when flaccid? This just sounds like an excuse for playing with your bits every five minutes as you struggle to rearrange them. Anyway, I'm sure this is baked in latex.
pottedstu, May 20 2002

       //This just sounds like an excuse for playing with your bits every five minutes.   

calum, May 20 2002

       Do I want to go look at waugsqueke's link?
pottedstu, May 20 2002

       An idea that sounds so good, especially if they were heated, but then you look at it's manifestation in that link and realize what it would be.
destro, May 21 2002

       Reminds me of the advice my Uncle gave me when I was a young man--he said I should put a potato into my pants to attract the ladies, so I did. Well, I remained unattached and saw my Uncle again a couple decades later. I told him that I had followed his advice but to no avail. He wanted me to show him what I looked like with the potato in my pants, so I put one in there and showed him. He told me I should have put the potato in the front of my pants, not the back. So you live and learn.
entremanure, May 21 2002

       Stu, no. You probably don't.   

       What? No nitenol?
RayfordSteele, May 21 2002

       'stu, no. You're too young.
DrBob, May 21 2002

       Sorry [bobofthefuture], it wasn't a nightmare. Don't ask how I know.
GenYus, Jan 15 2004

       lol @ [pottedstu]... 'Baked in latex'. That tickles me in unfamiliar, yet exciting ways ;)
Salmon Of Doubt, Nov 01 2005


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