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Breakup Initiate Finds Replacement

  (+12, -4)(+12, -4)
(+12, -4)
  [vote for,

This is based on the laughable assumption that both parties in a hypothetical relationship can be rational about a breakup. To help smooth the break, the party that initiated the breakup must assist their ex in finding a new partner by way of being their wingman at the local watering hole, arranging dates, and otherwise acting as their agent. If it becomes clear that the dumpee, if you will, is dithering for the purpose of clinging to the dumper, the dumper may cease wingman activities. This could be determined by agreeing upon a set amount of time to find a replacement at the onset of the breakup, say 2-3 months. Results/preferences may vary.
Eugene, Feb 08 2007


       This would be most interesting if a bus load of sport's mascots arrived at your intended watering hole.   

       "I think that beaver looks quite nice"
skinflaps, Feb 08 2007

       "How about that cock, I mean rooster..."
Eugene, Feb 08 2007

       Sort of like Amazon.com: "People who went out with me might also like ______, ________, or ______"
phundug, Feb 08 2007

       I tried convincing the last girlfriend I had to do this, but she wouldn't. Bitch. [+]
craigts, Feb 08 2007

       Laughs at [phundog]'s anno.   

       Amusing idea. [+]
imaginality, Feb 08 2007

       I was introduced to she who was to become my wife by an ex-girlfriend.
angel, Feb 08 2007

       Lovely condition, only 10 000 miles on the clock, one careful lady owner; sudden emigration forces sale.
pertinax, Feb 09 2007

       This would mean going out on more and better dates than when you were together, presumably to places that serve alcohol. Sounds like a trap to me.   

       Might I suggest a mandatory cooling period of at least a month before trying this? Assuming this is one of those breakups where you stay friends at all, rather than filing mutual restraining orders.
BunsenHoneydew, Feb 09 2007

       "Funny I don't recall her ever having mentioned you. How long have you known my ex-wife, Sybil?"
Canuck, Feb 10 2007

       The temptation to pick out the biggest loser in the bar (other than myself) for my ex would just be too much for me to handle. My duties should just be limited to wingman and agent, forget arranging dates, I could only have way to much fun with that task.
Pac-man, Feb 11 2007

       <oblgatory UB refference>
Careful with that ex Eugene.

       I'm sort of surprised at how well this was received. Clearly it wouldn't work for everybody, hence disclaimers in the post.   

       I've been wondering how one would bring this up, and at what time. If you brought it up when being dumped, you'd likely get no help. If you brought it up when dumping, well, good for you but you get nothing out of it. So it has to be proposed while the relationship is still intact. Difficult. As far as ex as wingman goes, I'm told it's easier to get with somebody if someone of their own sex approaches them for you, particularly if your wingman is a lady. Obviously this so-called principle doesn't apply in same-sex relationships, but a wingman is always useful.
Eugene, Feb 12 2007


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