Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Breakup Baskets

Now you can say "it's over" nicely and without hysterics.
  (+10, -7)
(+10, -7)
  [vote for,

Breakup baskets or breakup bouquets would allow you to extract yourself painlessly from undesireable relationships. If you lack the bravery of confronting your once-signficant other in person, send one of these tastefully arranged parting gifts to your former to bid them adieu. A lovely spray of flowers with a heart-felt farewell, or a basket with some goodies. I'm thinking chocolates for a heartbroken woman to comfort her wounded soul. Perhaps a video-game and hints basket for a guy (single-player games only).

All baskets and flowers would be accompanied by a selected Breakup Card. There could be an entire line of these, depending on how much the sender wanted to reveal about the reasons for the breakup.

"Sorry to leave, sorry to go, sorry I couldn't stand your B.O."

I'm sure the HalfBakery crowd could think of some others. Have at it!

trekbody, Mar 02 2005

explosive soup Explosion_20Soup
[Sp@rkp|ug, Mar 02 2005]


       I don't know - that was "half" not me.
trekbody, Mar 02 2005

       Um... //I'm sure the HalfBakery crowd could think of some others. Have at it!//   

       Perhaps wilted roses?
Worldgineer, Mar 02 2005

       I'm with [contracts] on this one. Remove the last two lines and mfd goes, I think? I've given you a bun because I like the idea of avoid confrontation, mostly when you know your now ex's reaction will be excesive. Also because I believe in friendly breakups. It's better than to just stop answering the phone.
Pericles, Mar 02 2005

       I always teach my women how to shoot. I've been called a fool for it, but it does make my relationships last longer.   

       "I'm really reluctant to go
But it's not working out, we both know.
Yes, we've had our fun
Please don't reach for your gun
Keep the house, the cars,
And my dough"
normzone, Mar 02 2005

       the rejectee needs something to throw, stomp upon, scream into, cry endlessly over. baskets are better than vases, comfort foods seem like a good idea, but I imaging them being thrown at picture frames, out windows, etc.
dentworth, Mar 02 2005

       "Dear John,
By dawn I'm gone."
FarmerJohn, Mar 03 2005

       Vetoing the mfd; this isn't just a list.   

       For me, this wouldn't work. The gift basket needs to come from a disinterested third party, a source of solidarity, so I don't obsess endlessly over whether his choice of ice cream flavor might reveal a hidden vulnerability I could use to get back together etc.
jutta, Mar 03 2005

       This is funny, however if you were actually to do this it would be far crueller than just saying "I've had enough of you". At least you should give your ex something to hate about you as you go - nothing worse than someone sh*tting on you in a caring way.   

       Too funny to fishbone.
wagster, Mar 03 2005

       I had to end one myself recently. This is not fair for anyone. Sorry.
NeoPiter, Mar 03 2005

       You could have specialty baskets like the "Here's Your Stuff Back" package. You take all you're soon-to-be ex's CD's and crap that she/he has been leaving at your place to the florist (I assume that's who's distributing these) and they arrange them tastefully with the already mentioned flowers and chocolates, and send them on their way.
thatguy, Mar 04 2005

       Could include videos and music, like "The First Wives Club" and "I Will Survive." A teddy bear or puppy would be nice, plus a gift certificate for a day at a spa, and a subscription to a dating service.
robinism, Mar 04 2005

       This is so cruel. Because you know the girl would be terrified to receive flowers from anyone ever again.   

       [-] (or +, if you're looking for a way to save money on roses in the future)
phundug, Mar 04 2005


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