Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Make mine a double.

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British Milk Float re-invented

A new range of electric milk floats using state of the art technology
  [vote for,

The humble milk float was a regular sight on UK streets, many years ago.  The vehicle comprised of a cart, holding trays of glass milk bottles, resting on top of an array of car batteries.  These travelled from depots to homes to deliver milk to families around the country.   Milk floats were known for being quiet, heavy and slow.  

Sadly, increased competition from cheaper supermarket milk and internet grocery shopping has led to their demise.  However, technology has moved on.  Recent advances in the electric car manufacture show what is possible, notably from market-leader, Tesla.  

We can now imagine a milk float with: Brushless motors, Lithium Ion batteries, and an autopilot. It would be possible to have milk delivered, autonomously, at 'ludicrous' speeds.

riposte, Jul 22 2016

A typical Milk Float http://www.milkfloa...rg.uk/ox-co-op.html
Picture of Milk Float [riposte, Jul 22 2016]

Burning plastic https://youtu.be/athJKDqR6d8
Zzzzzzzzzip..... [Ling, Jul 22 2016]


       Correction: according to milkfloat.org, some of these vehicles are still in service...   

       "A typical milk float consists of a very sturdy chassis, to carry the weight of batteries [] Onto this is built a basic cab structure and a canopy. This formula makes for a simple and virtually indestructible vehicle!"
riposte, Jul 22 2016

       // quiet //   

       ... apart, that is, from the loud, irritating clinking of the bottles triggered by every tiny imperfections in the road surface.
8th of 7, Jul 22 2016

       Is there anything to be said for saying another mass?
calum, Jul 22 2016

       There is ... but maybe we should watch The Poseidon Adventure first ... ?
8th of 7, Jul 22 2016

       Perhaps the era of milk-by-drone is approaching. Admittedly, the weight of a bottle of milk might tax the drone's batteries, but a milk-float might act as a docking/charging station for a small fleet of drones, each delivering one bottle at a time to houses within a 100m radius of the float.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 22 2016

       Damn, I was expecting a sinfully delicious concoction of ice cream and chocolate. Damn!
whatrock, Jul 22 2016

       Maybe they could bury these into potholes,therefore allowing a smoother ride for others and a free milk shake as you traverse over said milk float.   

       // It would be possible to have milk delivered, autonomously, at 'ludicrous' speeds.//   

       I'd watch that,Mr Whippy racing.
skinflaps, Jul 22 2016

       I'm looking forwards to electric vehicle delivery of re-useable bottles.   

       Just like 50 years ago!!!   

       Quite how the world ended up with the current plastic bottle disposal and bottle bank mess, shows something. I don't know what it is, but it is definitely something.
Ling, Jul 22 2016

       // plastic bottle disposal //   

       Oh, but they burn so beautifully ....
8th of 7, Jul 22 2016

       Yes! The addictive sound of those little burning plastic droplets from (Polythene?) sheets.   

Ling, Jul 22 2016

       Zzzzzzzzp ...... zzzzzzzzzp ...   

       But don't get the stuff on you.
8th of 7, Jul 22 2016

       Upvote for the strangely mustachioed calum.
DrBob, Jul 23 2016

       Haven't milkmen always had magnetic bottle.
wjt, Jul 25 2016

       //Sadly, increased competition from cheaper supermarket milk and internet grocery shopping has led to their demise// - not so; I still get my milk delivered by a milk-float to my door in reusable glass bottles
hippo, Jul 25 2016


FlyingToaster, Jul 25 2016

       Is this what inspired the Mark 1 tank?
RayfordSteele, Jul 25 2016

       No, development of the Mk. 1 (Codenamed "Iron Stan" in honour of the then Postmater-General, Lord Stanley) was actually initiated by the G.P.O. in 1904, motivated by a remarkably beligerent wire-haired fox terrier called Albert, the pet of Mrs. Edith Sprolt of No. 48 Longlands Rd., Sidcup, who was making the delivery of post impossible.   

       The specification called for a tracked, armoured vehicle, driven by a petrol engine, capable of 6 mph on level ground and able to climb a privet hedge up to 5 feet high. In the initial design, no armament was fitted, the sponsons being painted red and provided with small hortizontal slots for the posting of letters, which could then be sorted while the vehicle was in motion by an on-board team. The crew numbered 6.65 - a driver, a commander, two delivery postmen, two sorters, a boy to make tea (0.5 crewman) and the statutory Post Office cat (0.15 crewmen). Initially, the armour plate was 10mm thick, and was tested by smearing the entire outer surface in Bovril and parking it in the grounds of Battersea Dog's Home overnight. Due to an oversight, the cat was left on board, and although it survived physically unharmed, it was never quite the same again, and would go into convulsions every time it heard a jam-jar being opened. The armour was increased to 12mm after what was referred to as the "Regent's Park Incident". Apart from the fact that the Zoological Gardens were involved, all other records seem to have been systematically destroyed.   

       In 1914, the first production batch was sequestered by the Admiralty on the direct orders of the First Lord, Winston Churchill. The original plan was to use the fleet to deliver a "Cease and Desist" order to the Kaiser at Potsdam, in person, but the plan failed because the Foreign Office failed to stick enough stamps on the envelope, and the Hohenzollerns refused to pay the surcharge.   

       The letter was returned marked "Undeliverable". After much discussion, extra stamps were authorized by a Cabinet committee and the letter re-posted in Autumn 1918; however, in December 1918 it was again returned, this time marked "Gone away - no forwarding address" and the plan was then abandoned.
8th of 7, Jul 25 2016


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