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Brush your teeth for 15 minutes

Every morning
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(+1, -4)
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Ok here it is: drugs don't really work, except recreationally. Otherwise they are just an excuse to gather all of the money in the world into one place in the form of the pharmaceutical industry, to support centralized military world government. The answer? -- America's true secret: brushing your teeth for 15 minutes every morning and night. Alternatively eat a diet high in fiber in the form of small sticks and coarse leaves which you chew all day.

The theory: bacteria, viruses and fungi that are organized enough to attack the human body have evolved network complexity based on our own, so each disease has brain components, feet components etc, and teeth components especially because this is the easiest place to get internal to the body without causing an alarm- activating interruption like a sore. And since tooth-gum barrier is best for this, most diseases use this entry point -- it's a constant war to get in there.

The invention: a public acknowledgement that the 15 minute teeth brush is America's only real strategy for world domination

JesusHChrist, Oct 01 2013

Since cocoa comes from plants... chocolate is technically salad. http://www.dailymai...lly-GOOD-teeth.html
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 01 2013]

And utilizing that logic, so is beer ! http://www.youtube....watch?v=OOyiW8GuZR8
<waves arms> [normzone, Oct 02 2013]

chocolate toothpaste http://theodent.com/
[bs0u0155, Oct 02 2013]


       Help me out here - is this irony or bollocks?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 01 2013

       I had the same thought, an posted an idea for antibacteial floss. I think it's my most fishbone idea ever.
DIYMatt, Oct 01 2013

       And don't forget: this much time spent on personal hygiene will have a psychological effect on the individual. Makes you think twice about what you put in your mouth. People will stop eating so much sugar. Start eating healthy food, actually cook for themselves and not stuff themselves fuller and fuller. The people in your nation will become healthier and lose weight. The country with the most fat people will become the country with the most fit people. Fit people with more energy and more motivation and more drive, ready to lead the world, dominate the world.   

       And they will become wise and see that the only true purpose of man is to tend to the nature of earth and mankind will reform to gardening and all will be well and the aliens will finally let us join the galactic gardening club.
zeno, Oct 01 2013

       Someone will invent chocolate toothpaste.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 01 2013

       <holds arms djinni style and nods head>

       Brushing the gums, (much like shaving the face), introduces micro-lacerations in the tissue which can act as a portal for infection.   

       I much prefer the technique of ingesting diseased and infected bodily exudates and crusts so as to allow my immune system to develop antigens for these microbial threats as they battle them *after* being severely weakened by digestion.
MikeD, Oct 02 2013

       So that, if you ingest only exudates and then reprocess your excretions by ingestion, cyclicly, you would be effectively purifying the result so that only the really strong bad guys would be left to train your antigen army -- sort of like civet coffee but for medicine.
JesusHChrist, Oct 02 2013

       I need a Cliff's Notes version to rcarty's brain.
RayfordSteele, Oct 03 2013

       Rcarty's annotation deleted by accident on an iPhone: The true secret is in the 1970''s aroud '73 there was the introduction of widespread "psychological" reforms, as the new wave of competitive adaptiveness and fitness determination. Basically adopting the neoliberal political ideology, and the behavioural and discursive regime favorable to capitalism, or if those norms and values breakdown, or behavioural routine breakdown, that's a lack of fitness, a sickness, and psychiatry and pharmaceuticals are simply part of the disciplary system of capitalism in the overall market ethos of competitive selection. Really when so much normative behaviour corresponds to the discursive regime of political economy, then abnormativity is dysfunctional within those constraints. Of course brushing teeth makes a person much more marketable and better at close communication, not brush teeth is a breakdown in a person not maintaining the value of their own saleable commodity self, and the routine of personal hygiene and self-care of property of the common market, like girls buttocks, when properly maintained through fitness regimes, and those contained in music for twerking, the result is an increase in market evaluation for buttocks in general - all thanks to self mainenance to appease the mass market. That's why we're seeing extraordinary gains in 'booty meat' appraisals across the board.b. Shrink wrappedd booty meat today fetches tenfold 1950s levels after adjusting for inflation. The only meat worth more is the human brain, thanks to the alignment of psychology and capitalism for improving value in that domain.   

       Basically imposing an inducemnt through a cruelty of making social status contingent on behaviourism through a process rather than not alienating this important object in its devices for improving the commodified object whose subjectivity is dependant on its social form. — rcarty, Oct 01
JesusHChrist, Aug 30 2015


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