Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Butt Alarm

Tried all the other alarm clocks?
  (+3, -7)
(+3, -7)
  [vote for,

The alarm itself would consist of a comfort-shaped capsule that is inserted, like a suppository, before bed. The time could either be set with low-profile buttons on the capsule itself, or with a bluetooth remote control (deluxe model). When it comes time to wake up the capsule releases a suitable dose of caffeine into the bloodstream. Also specially suited for special forces in operational combat, where an alarm clock would draw the attention of the enemy.

If your caffeine tolerance is too great and you find yourself not waking up in the morning, tobasco sauce might work as substitute.

zardinuk, Feb 09 2007

1000 years of pain or.. kancho? http://youtube.com/watch?v=XSh5bBqruoc
A japanese butt tradition with Naruto and Kakashi [MercuryNotMars, Feb 10 2007]

Caffein effect http://www.coolquiz...n/docs/caffeine.asp
This doesn't say that being awake is a secondary effect but it does say caffein withdrawl causes sleeplessness [MercuryNotMars, Feb 10 2007]

Longer thing about caffein effect http://www.garynull...CaffeineEffects.htm
Although caffeine dilates blood vessels by a direct action, its central effect is one of constriction. At higher doses, the dilating effect is apparent (Peach, 1972; Poisner, 1973). [MercuryNotMars, Feb 10 2007]

Stimulants http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stimulant
[jhomrighaus, Feb 11 2007]

Link between Nitroglycerin and caffeine withdrawel http://imigraine.net/other/substance.html
A. . The patient has consumed caffeine daily and >= 15 g per month B. Occurs within 24 hour after last caffeine intake. C. releved within one hour by 100 mg of caffeine. [MercuryNotMars, Feb 11 2007]

caffeine mechanism http://www.medchem....ee_and_caffeine.htm
this appears to contradict me, and probably does. [MercuryNotMars, Feb 11 2007]


       Dude! With this title you should have nothing but buns. The problem is your thing releases caffeine???????????   

       Where the hell is the fun in that?   

       First if it is a suppository it will not come back out in the morning(or at least it would be a little messy) if it was shaped like a small butt Plug this would be much easier to deal with.   

       If you were thinking straight this would do one of 2 things(or better yet, both in sequence)   

       First it should shake like like crazy when your alarm time is reached, i suspect that any amount of caffiene will be pointless when this thing goes off.   

       Second if you set it up to apply mild electroshocks if you snooze too long then the only thing that will keep you from getting up in the morning will be forgetting to install it before you go to bed.
jhomrighaus, Feb 09 2007

       Electric shocks sounds messy too. I am not familiar with the process completely but I think stud horses are "milked" with a similar technique. I don't know what kind of electricity we are talking about but....   

       Caffein tolerance? Caffein would be unreliable for the opposite reason. Tolerance build up is what makes caffein work. Caffein actually makes you drowsy by constricting blood vessels. tolerance is what makes it work by counteracting the this. To acheive balance the blood vessels open wide and if you don't have your morning coffie you get a bad headache from caffein withdrawl. It wouldn't work on people who don't use caffein and for all I know the trigger to open up blood vessels would be the smell of coffee. I have no idea if it would work on the tolerant either.   

       I have an idea but I dare not go further.
MercuryNotMars, Feb 10 2007

       Where did you get that drivel from. Caffeine does not make you drowsy! It does not matter if you have an addiction to it or not it just doesn't work that way.
jhomrighaus, Feb 10 2007

       anecdotally, it does seem to have a calming effect on young people with ADHD...
po, Feb 10 2007

       It works that way on kids. I'll go look it up and post a link or edit this with a retraction.   

       Not exactly a retraction, cause I don't know the definition of central effect and dirrect action but I am definitly not too far off.   

       If you experience the opposite of a dose-response effect though what is that?   

       A questionnaire completed by more than 200 young housewives showed that the perceived effects of caffeine depended on previous use (Goldstein et al., 1969). The heavy coffee drinkers had few sleep disturbances and less evidence of nervousness after their morning coffee as compared to nondrinkers. if the morning coffee was stopped, the habitual coffee drinkers experienced nervousness, headache and irritation. The non-coffee drinkers reacted negatively to coffee, experiencing effects opposite to the coffee drinkers. An experiment was devised to verify the results of the questionnaire involving 18 housewives, non-coffee drinkers, and 38 who drank five or more cups per day. The results confirmed those obtained from the questionnaire previously administered (Goldstein et al., 1969). This experiment was double-blind and placebo controlled and caffeine was administered in coffee at 0, 150 and 300 mg. Coffee drinkers showed a dose-response effect whereas non-coffee drinkers showed signs such as nervousness, jitters and upset stomachs at all doses of caffeine but not on placebo.   

       I saved my drivel for the 25 million dollar virgin earth prize.
MercuryNotMars, Feb 10 2007

       I don't see anything about drousieness. All symptoms of stimulant use.
jhomrighaus, Feb 10 2007

       "stimulate" doesn't mean anything in particular. It doesn't mean alertness.   

       I may have overstated this with the word "drowsiness" but calming effect which does not inhibit sleep may be appropriate to describe what I am saying.   

       Why don't you tell me how it works in a way that is not drivel.   

       I have heard the comparison between Caffein withdrawl and taking Nitroglycerin. Caffein withdrawl type effect would not be present to ballance with caffein consumption in people who do not have the reaction built in yet.   

       You probably didn't even know about the vascular responce and you are going to sit back and tell me it //doesn't work that way.// How does it work?   

       First order reactions to a substance in general is decreased responce as you become resistant, and yet it is a dose-responce effect in people who are coffee drinkers. Please explain. Free me from my drivil.   

       I do find it an impossible search to find anything about caffeine virgins and the first time responce. I have heard it before and understood it but you type in caffeine and drowsey, of course you are going to get the main effect of caffeine not a first timer responce. There is also not much incintive to advertize such a thing. The subject however is waking people up out of sleep. Does nervous and jittery translate into awake?
MercuryNotMars, Feb 10 2007

       I guess a degree in Biochemistry isn't worth anything then. Read up on stimulants and investigate the effects of caffeine on the human metabolism. I don't know why on earth you are going on about addiction and withdrawal symptoms but I would love to see a reference to caffeine causing drowsiness. I am more than aware of the vascular effect of caffeine (and many other stimulants) this however is just one of a variety of effects. It does not however cause drowsiness. The effect of caffeine doesn't really change for first timers or heavy users it is more a matter of reaction to the effects. The overall addiction mechanism has more to do with it than anything. Much of what you are speaking about is exactly the same for drug users, alcoholics and smokers.   

       I would note that your lack of understanding of these topics is quite apparent. I said Stimulant not stimulate. A stimulant is a class of chemicals that act in certain ways on the metabolism. the effect of stimulants on individuals with ADHD seems counterintuitive but in reality is exactly what is expected however these individuals suffer from a depression of certain chemicals in the brain. The stimulant effect in these people actually acts to accelerate production of these chemicals and results in a more "normal" chemical balance causing a "calming" effect or rather an increase in attentiveness, attention and focus. This effect is carefully calibrated however so if this same person continued to consume the stimulant the resulting effect would be similar to a "normal" persons reaction to the use of the same stimulant. Many of the drugs used to treat ADHD are stimulants such as Ritalin(Methylphenidate) are widely used. Caffeine is a relatively safe and low level stimulant. See link to begin your education. Or better yet stick to Physics.   

       The effect of drugs or other stimulus changes over time, the greater ones exposure to most things the less extreme their reactions to them. It does not mean that a 10 cup a day coffee drinker does not experience an increase in heart rate, blood pressure etc. it just means that their reactions to those effects are different. If you never drank coffee and then finely drank some, the physical effects on your system would feel strange and perhaps uncomfortable, you might be nervous, hyper attentive, jittery etc. This is the fundamental problem with studying the perceived effects of drugs on the body. An alcoholic is just as drunk as a nondrinker who has had the same amount to drink, he has however become better able to compensate for the effect and may appear less impaired and from their perspective much less impaired but when you observe the effects on their body, metabolism and on their reactions and physical symptoms they are no more able to function normally than an equivalent non-addict.
jhomrighaus, Feb 10 2007

       "experiencing effects opposite to the coffee drinkers" Does this phrase have no meaning? What effect is coffee known for, what would be it's opposite? Why does it only mention coffee drinkers having a dose-responce?   

       I know you said stimulant. Stimulants stimulate cause that is what they do it is quite relevant. I am sure Caffeine is a classical stimulant with all the classical connotation of super alert, but I don't think there is anything about the word that implies what the mechanism is.   

       I know Biochemists can't know everything about everything biochemical. You memorize tons of stuff and there is still more random facts. I am sure it is a very complicated process that has been simplified very much for my understanding. I am sure there are tons of questions I would be very eager to consult with you on. I however heard this from someone speaking out of knowledge instead of doubt. Which one do you suggest I go with? I have found things that make me think I did not dream this incident and as far as my limited grasp of the terms goes it seems to support what I said.   

       Pardon me if I don't bow down immediatly and forsake my former drivil. Caffeine withdrawl is very significant because it mimics your biological clock and gets ready to cancel out the effects of the Caffeine that it expects. I am quite familiar with it, I used to experience the headaches every saturday. the day after I had consumed as much free mountain dew at work as I could take every weekday. Why don't you bow down to my annecdotal experience?   

       I think you might be sore over the Rectal Electroejaculation comment over your suggested improvement. I am sure sore about the drivil comment when you simply post doubts.
MercuryNotMars, Feb 11 2007

       WOW, you are WAY to sensitive. You were discussing that caffeine makes one drowsy. I thought that was drivel and said so. Tolerance "build-up" has nothing to do with making caffeine or any other stimulant "work". Your statement was flat out incorrect.   

       //I think you might be sore over the Rectal Electroejaculation comment over your suggested improvement. I am sure sore about the drivel comment when you simply post doubts.//   

       I could care less about your comments I was being silly and factious and very much not serious about my comment. I am not posting any doubts. and I am very clearly approaching this topic from a position of knowledge, not doubt, something I would point out that you are not doing. Your assessment of the effect of a stimulant based on the statement about the "opposite" effects was simply wrong. The reference you site seems to clearly imply that regular drinkers are calmed and more alert and have a better feeling of well being than those who do not regularly consume caffeine.   

       // A questionnaire completed by more than 200 young housewives showed that the perceived effects of caffeine depended on previous use //   

       Did you read this statement, in particular the part about the "perceived effects"? Did you read my other annos that addressed the issue of perception and reality? Or did you just soldier on with your incorrect assumptions?   

       //Why don't you bow down to my annecdotal experience?//   

       I have not in any way dismissed you experience. And I see no reason why I would "Bow Down" to anything you have to say on this subject. It is real and I myself have experienced it. I am also a person who has taken Ritalin for over 20 years for the treatment of Adult ADD, and have experienced all the effects of these stimulants(and what happens when the dosage is out of whack, most severly I would note due to coffee consumption as a teenager).   

       However withdrawl is only partially a physiological process it is also a mental process causing an amplification of the physiological effects from the addiction(as well as a great many physiological effects coming solely from the mental withdrawal itself). The symptoms of withdrawal are common for almost all types of addictive substances. They are not limited to caffeine. This is why so many people have trouble with them and they are so similar even for drugs that do not act on the circulatory system in any way.   

       As to this idea I doubt it would have much of an effect, I think it is a little lame as it missed out on a much more halfbaked approach to the same problem. My 1st anno was meant in fun. Also don't expect everyone to think you are a genius because you found some reference on the internet to caffeine and then tried to draw some sort of conclusion from it(and an incorrect one at that).
jhomrighaus, Feb 11 2007

       You guys should get a room.   

       I am ill prepared to defend someone else's position it seems. I certainly did not invent it. I came accross a site that suggest a very dirrect connection in the mechanism between alertness and the presence of caffeine. I am not sure what level of research they have gone into to conclude this and it does express some uncertainty but I am not sure what level this uncertainty is on.   

       "But, as with all drugs, caffeine has side effects. Shaking hands, urge to go to the bathroom, faster beating heart, stomach problems - it's probably all due to the widespread presence of adenosine receptors. They're not only present in the brain, but also on the heart, the intestine, etc. For a medicinal chemist the challenge is to understand the precise mechanism of action of caffeine. Then, we might be able to manipulate the chemical structure of caffeine in order to retain the desired effects, while eliminating the unwanted ones. "   

       I'll post the link. I have however no reason to dirrectly dismiss the idea that it is a secondary responce that is built up that causes allertness and is present without coffee due to biological rythms, however it appears that people who research it and publish information on the internet do not generally recognize this to be the case. unfortunatly I don't know people that aren't exposed to caffeine and haven't built up any compensation. I am done. I will check back to see if you have anything to say but I don't see any proof to nail down the drowsyness statement and I think it is idiotic to point to a definition of stimulant and say that it excludes any possibility that the mechanism doesn't require initialization. A mechanism that I am discribing still meets the definition of stimulant.
MercuryNotMars, Feb 11 2007


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