Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clock a Dildo-do

Dildo based alarm clock, with an appropriate name. aka: The Dil-dong
  (+9, -3)
(+9, -3)
  [vote for,

Since there are so many alarm clock ideas prevalent, and most of them are as tame as a hamster sleeping off a night of smoking too much skunk.....

The clock takes the form of a base station, from which projects a flacid dildo, (hence the name) that only becomes erect and functional at the predetermined time set the night before.

If you don't pick it up and start playing with it, within two minutes of its base station's morning greeting (the increasing sound of breathless panting) the throbbing dildo simply flops over disappointingly until it is reset.

xenzag, Oct 11 2006

Amazon.com recommendation engine says: http://www.panix.co...-recommendation.gif
[jutta, Mar 31 2007]


       You mean it doesn't just brush up against the target, and then apologize when scolded?
craigts, Oct 11 2006

       Oh - that old idea. I only put that up at a time when there were loads of other alarm clock notions. Meanwhile, did you know that a recent sex survey revealed 15% of all women secretly keep and use a dildo, in preference to their partner. In your case, if your wife seems to keep waking up first, maybe she is one of that 15%? I'd start asking leading questions.... "how come we always need AA batteries when we don't have any appliances that take that size?"
xenzag, Mar 31 2007

       genius +
benfrost, Mar 31 2007

       I think this will work better for the men. Ladies probably won't mind too much either way, but I know that as a guy, I'd be out of bed by 4:00 AM if I knew a didldo was waiting to bugger me in the bum at 6:00 AM.
ye_river_xiv, Mar 31 2007

       // Meanwhile, did you know that a recent sex survey revealed 15% of all women secretly keep and use a dildo, in preference to their partner.   

       I did not, and I wonder whether we mean the same by "all", "women", and "survey". Do you have a link for that?
jutta, Mar 31 2007

       Misstune and Breadharvey 2004 "The Hidden Desires of aAA Generation" - an obscure, but authoritative document. They have no belief in the internet.
xenzag, Mar 31 2007

       I guess we mean different things by "authoritative", too!
jutta, Mar 31 2007

       If you include the date in your search, your catharsis may come.
xenzag, Apr 01 2007

       I had thought Misstune and Breadharvey was a bit of a give-away... but you did ask - so I obliged with answers.
xenzag, Apr 01 2007

       I think that it should um... intensify its motion until you wake up
twinkletoes1218, Mar 20 2008


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