Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Cat-Call School

School for the 'hey baby' impaired
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Two weeks, or three for the really challenged, of hard knox training on the art, yes art, of cat-calling. There really needs to be some attention given to the redundancy of the common whistle and hoots. C'mon fellows, show a little depth!!!!! Give us some gravy for Pete's Sake!!!!!

--pete being the Shakespeare of Meooooow--

Pete's trade-mark call:

"All the world's a stage, baby, and my hot lights are shining on you.'

rubyissues, Aug 03 2002

Some other lines I hope we won't be seeing on the final exam... http://www.quotemeo...badpickuplines.html
[DrCurry, Aug 03 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

These ones are rated by success http://linesthataregood.com/pointy.html
Except that "I wanna put my thingy into your thingy" is the outright leader, followed by "Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?", so I don't think you'll find any poetry here. [DrCurry, Aug 04 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Not cat calls...but chat-up lines http://www.thesite....s/chatup_lines.html
For those of us guys without the creativity to come up with our own opening gambits... [Jinbish, Aug 05 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
DrCurry, Aug 03 2002
  

       "The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name."
FarmerJohn, Aug 03 2002
  

       Doctor, Doctor, although you generated a nice grin, I want more. Something a wee bit more vague. A call that will linger in the mind and cause me to go uummmm.   

       bliss--haven't beeeeennn here long enough to decipher your annote or even begin to understand. Sorry, I guess you have left me 'blissmiss'. Send de-coder or psychic.   

       big John.....I'm uummmmm'ing at this very moment.   

       I see the brawny man in bright orange vest--graduation attire--approaching the podium as the placard girls pass in front of the stage. A tiny bead of sweat rolls from the cheek onto the lips, he licks the salt and gives his best call.........   

       Congradulations, son, here's your diploma.
rubyissues, Aug 03 2002
  

       Steve DeGroof---Hey man, you don't know Pete like I do. He is one mean biscuit eater. I am mearly using my fingerkeys to levy for some extra fare for the chap. Really. Do you have nothing to spare for the pot?   

       Doc--sweet. nice. I've thought twice.   

       bliss- your new kitty will soon be grown, so we shall all enjoy his childlike curiosity whilst it lingers. Alas, my kitty is in the 'Meooow at owner for no reason stage'. Must be fleas. damn useless collars.   

       I imagine we should pass out small verification cards proving the authenticity of the molded by schooling cat-calls. Some honor amongst inner hard hat sanctum.
rubyissues, Aug 04 2002
  

       Mephista-You've requested a leap from the realm of humor into a often unlit and unshadowed order of one's cerebral aspects. I flip the mask and oblige.   

       I agree, on some levels, that cat-calling is often times received as an annoyance. I have tightened my jaw, and rolled the eyes, and quicken the gate, too, when encountering these regions of unchecked toungue. Often left with a sense of helplessness, which triggers the anger, that I fling at these men who would seemingly find such pleasure in the humiliation of the gender that has been deemed the complement of their very 'BEING' since year of 01. In a state of analytical mind, I search the corners of the society I flop about in on a daily basis, for a beginnings to an answer. Exogenous Development? Inherit genes? Conscience oblivion? I settle on the foremost, of the trio of choices, as the most acceptable to forgive as we all play a role in the creation of the visual stimulation of our wordly abode. And since I feel it is easier to learn than unlearn, I render them school bound to retrace the steps that coaxed the mind into its comfortable rut of exhibited repulsive behavior. First you teach the grasping of a call that has a theme, which is demanding a use of the intellect. They must form a thought. The use of the mind is bound to stimulate an interest in its continued utilization which I am hoping,( betting odds), in the long haul, will arm them with a pry bar, of sorts, that they may someday use to find a unclogged crevasse within the mind and, having this newly aquired tool, levy to BE.   

       So.....ruby issued herself like a crystal, turning in the light, her puzzling personality showed off its diffrent facets depending on how the circumstances of life struck her.
rubyissues, Aug 04 2002
  

       Having grown up thinking like Mephista, I was amazed to come to Wall Street and discover that some women *liked* (and thrived on) the attention they got on these overwhelmingly male-dominated trading floors. Since then, I have noticed that some women respond positively to wolf whistles and "Hey Baby" type cat calls on the sidewalks. This is not surprising from an intellectual viewpoint: if there wasn't some success rate (say, 1 in 40), the guys wouldn't bother doing it.   

       Many people enjoy flirting, both male and female, and it is the grease of office life. Whether it needs to be more poetic or intellectual, I dunno, we're talking about basic sexual wiring here. Heck, if we were bonobos, we all be f***ing our brains out all the time.
DrCurry, Aug 04 2002
  

       Doc- Maybe you've touched on the 'comfortable rut' aspect. The calls' raunchiness directly portionate to the level of stagnation occuring in the individuals life. Otherwise, I feel a man, with distaste for an idle mind, would continualy challenge himself to reach the whole spectrum of female ethos. Trial of the Call.
rubyissues, Aug 04 2002
  

       Maybe I'm unusual, [Mephista], but I never thought of anyone I was flirting with - playfully or seriously - as an intended victim...
-alx, Aug 04 2002
  

       Nothing personal, [rubyissues], but my fishies are swimming for these issues, baby...   

       When I am out with one of my more attractive friends, and whistle after whistle comes, it's not that we want more intelligent cat-calling- it's that we want it to STOP.   

       And, it occurs to me that no cat-caller will go to this school... Sigh. I kind of like what you're getting at. Kind of a Cyranno de Splurgerac for young and/or drunk males(?). And I thought Peter was more of a Pumpkin-eater?
polartomato, Aug 05 2002
  

       I never said flirting.
rubyissues, Aug 05 2002
  

       polar- but you've never experienced a   

       "baby, you've caused a pause to think--I once wanted red but I am pink."   

       Now, albiet, it is still intrusive upon your outing, however, it isn't vulgar. Or maybe it is vulgar but not obvious. I see NO end to the madness of *some* male testosterone only a harshness with which I attempt to sand the rough edges. On the attendance record....I think you would be surprised. Any self-improvement is cause for boisterousness. No?
rubyissues, Aug 05 2002
  

       Agreed.   

       [rubyissues - if you feel that the annotations on flirting have strayed off-topic, I for one have no objection to you deleting them]
-alx, Aug 05 2002
  

       Going back to cat calls (which I still link with flirting, in its crudest form), will we also see a Cat Walk School to teach Mephista and the like how to deal with cat calls with panache?
DrCurry, Aug 05 2002
  

       so, this isn't the same as Casual Sex Phrasebook?
sappho, Aug 05 2002
  

       Now......Mephista has given us a prime example of the 'intended victim' approach. Owww, Meph, I bet the fella's can feel the love eminating from your smoking keyboard.   

       alx- I've sworn off the delete button for at least.........uummmmmm.............until later than the present. color is really the reflection of the rays that are rejected by the object that is struck by light?........   

       drCurious- Only if you can say that you have received with the same. I find that the Wall Street bangers, cat slangers, are less likely to affiliate themselves with the 'lot' of men on the hot asphalt in mid-afternoon. But with the stripping away of sociological filth, what will be illuminated?......what dwells at the innner domain? Which man, from what group, would be the quickest to respond to a woman's plead for assistance?   

       missbliss- call me predictable, I don't care, but I agree with thee. raaawwwww. Makes me want caffine.
rubyissues, Aug 06 2002
  

       UnaBubba- but isn't that the foundation of other rehabilitative programs? When at a loss for a solution, we opt to reprogram. No? Agreed, I don't find any stimulation in being the object randomly choosen for bewildering rhetoric of this sort and I have not encountered, much to DrCurry's proclamations, any of my gender that revels in such attention. So....stepping away from the egotistical view, 'I am offended', why do we not choose to encourage a morphing of mind?   

       or have you 'classed' them cemented and thus unworthy?
rubyissues, Aug 06 2002
  

       testosterrorists? HaHaHHAAA!   

       I'm probably the fool for getting involved in any discussion of a shellacking. Is there a difference between heckling and harrassing? I'd say so; naturally, I wear my heart on my sleeve.   

       Heckling serves a purpose in that it demonstrates counseling in a public forum. Subjects of heckling know immediately that the tone of their audience is not solemn. The audience announces its agreement or disagreement with a speaker's emphasis by loud interruptions made to catch the collective ear of everyone within the forum. Outcry does not mean rejection anymore than ‘amen’ from the front pew means rejection, but hecklers may be more difficult to control than an emotional supporter. A speaker with poise, tact, and recovery skills stands a chance of weathering some outcry and of returning the discussion focus to a meaningful topic.   

       ¯rubyissues: /…when at a loss for a solution, we choose to reprogram …/ Very good! I love that quote, and I might add to the list of not-so-optimal choices that when at loss for a solution, we resort to dogma. The difference in a choice to reprogram or to regress probably leads to some hecklers being depressingly dull as opposed to being critics.
reensure, Aug 06 2002
  
      
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