Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Cat rescue cat

Trained cats rescue 'treed' cats.
  [vote for,

Some cats are really stupid, they climb up a tall tree with no idea of how to climb down. Then it is a job for the Fire Brigade to come with big red fire engines and long ladders to rescue the stranded moggie.

My idea is for the fire brigades, or other local rescue service, to train cats to do this job for them.

The trained cat will be skilled in both climbing trees and parachuting.

When the call comes everyone races to the scene with sirens wailing. When they arrive the rescue cat straps on his parachute and quickly climbs the tree.

Grasping the rescuee by the scruff of the neck the rescue cat leaps out into space whereupon the sudden change in apparent atmospheric pressure is detected as a sign of falling and the automatic parachute opens returning both our hero and the dumb cat safely to the ground.

akubra, Jun 03 2004

Looks like [kbecker] entered this territory..... http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/dog_20cars
......already, although differently and in an annotation [normzone, Oct 04 2004]

If hummingbirds can't, can an African swallow? http://www.style.org/unladenswallow/
Essential data. [MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 01 2007]


       Pussy Galore. (+)
ConsulFlaminicus, Jun 04 2004

       Or, of course, simply do nothing, and the cat comes down when it's hungry.
DrCurry, Jun 04 2004

       train a cat?
po, Jun 04 2004

       a cat will only work when it feels like it AND when there's something in it for them.
po, Jun 05 2004

       just shoot them and they'll fall out on their own   

       ALL cats are stupid they take after their owners   

martinShaw, Jun 05 2004

       [MS] Oooh, that burns!

Dog lover, eh?

They're not stupid, just self-centred.
Must agree with Dr.Curry et al on this one.
blueturtle, Jun 05 2004

       Perhaps a cross between, say, Saint Bernard and Maine Coon?
bristolz, Jun 05 2004

       a government research centre has been doing tests on animals to see how naturaly inteligent they are by teaching them to play games etc. cats are one of the very few types of animal that refused to take part in the tests
slarti, Jun 06 2004

       Three firemen are required to remove a cat from a tree - one to take the elderly owner inside for a cup of tea, two to operate the fire hose and blow the annoying furball back to earth. Cats aren't daft enough to climb up and get stuck, they just don't _want_ to come down at the present moment...
david_scothern, Jun 08 2004

       //The trained cat will be skilled in both climbing trees and parachuting.//   

       You get a bun for that.
Worldgineer, Aug 08 2006

       Cats are difficult to train. I wonder if leopards would be any easier?
moomintroll, Aug 08 2006

       Squirrels are highly intelligent. You could train the squirrels to tempt the cat down...if you provided them with anti-cat body armour.
DrBob, Aug 08 2006

       It was going fine until
//the rescue cat straps on his parachute//
pertinax, Aug 09 2006

       The fact is, MOST cats can come down on their own. That's why there aren't trees full of dead cats all over the place.
kittenhead, Feb 24 2007

       Hey, has anyone else seen those cat ladders that people with balconies (and cats natch) have. They're just a long pole with little rungs about 6 inches apart all the way up (or down, depending). An extendable version of this could be elongated to the required height, propped up against the tree at an angle and just left there until the cat gets the idea. Surely much cheaper than calling firemen out.
squeak, Feb 26 2007

       Trained bees might work faster.
ldischler, Feb 26 2007

       Or 100 trained hummingbirds - they could pick up the cat in their beaks.
hippo, Feb 26 2007

       //Or 100 trained hummingbirds// Unlikely. A ruby-throated humming bird (or hummingbird - I prefer the former) weighs about 4g, and can double its weight prior to migration. So, let's assume that it can fly with an all-up weight of, say, 16g (ie, it has a 2:1 safety factor even when carrying 4g of fat), giving it a lifting capacity of 12g tops.   

       A cat weighs maybe 4kg, depending on breed, age and fitness. So, we are looking realistically at a little over 333 humming birds to lower one cat to the ground.   

       But it gets worse. There is no way that ?333 humming birds can fit around an unmodified cat without overlapping, and humming birds do not overlap well. So, you are going to need some kind of harness system. This can only add to the problems inherent in this scheme.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 26 2007

       < wipes tear from eye>   

       you go, [max]. can we have that figure in african swallows?
Custardguts, Feb 27 2007

       But then the cat that's "stuck" in the tree eats the birds so it doesn't become hungry, so it stays up in the tree even longer, so we send up more rescue birds...   

       What's wrong with this picture?   

       I vote for the fire hose solution.
Canuck, Feb 27 2007

       The phrase "unmodified cat" [in MB's anno] sounds ominous.
hippo, Feb 27 2007

       [custard] //can we have that figure in african swallows?// My pleasure. Most of the background information can be found (see link), at least for the European swallow. The key point to grasp here is that the swallow has a Strouhal number of somewhere between 0.2 and 0.4. I'm sure I don't need to labour the point further.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 01 2007

       //Cats are difficult to train. I wonder if leopards would be any easier?//   

       Mmmm, nice tasty pussy cat.
theleopard, Dec 06 2007

       How about a trained python?   

       Or, you shoot the cat with a jam gun and then release a load of ants to carry the bejammed cat down the tree.   

       Or, you fire a slice of buttered toast at the cat and ...
marklar, Dec 06 2007

       Baked. At least I assume that's what Feline Rescue (here in Minneapolis) does.
Ford, Dec 06 2007

       I have a 12-guage ..... >:->
8th of 7, Dec 06 2007

       Because cats will get down when they are good and ready, I decided to bun this one because if you think that a cat fight is good, wait until you see a cat fight in a tree.
Jscotty, Dec 06 2007

       A chainsaw will also work.   

       No, not for the cat.
wagster, Dec 07 2007


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