Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The word "How?" springs to mind at this point.

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Chastity Bed

The bed for those wanting to lead a celibate life or wanting to have a more energetic role-play.
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This is based on the kind of cabin beds that children have but with adults in mind. The idea of 'jumping into bed' with someone would considerably more difficult if the bed wasn't all that easy to get into (too high, ladders to contend with, barbed wire surrounding it, etc). The drunken offer of 'would you like to stay the night?' might not be given out too easily. It would also enable the beds owner to have someway of challenging a prospective partner and seeing whether they're really worth. Example: can't be bothered to try and get into bed, not worth the effort. On considering the idea further I realised that this might not be a universally popular idea but when used in role playing situations it has many more possibilties. For those into S&M there are plenty of bars and such things to attach chains, handcuffs, etc. For those of a slightly more traditional and romantic nature there is plenty of fun with the 'knight' trying to get to the'virgin' at the top of the tower. Many additions could be made to the bed to make the task more interesting or difficult such as trap doors, things which generally hinder progress.
Miss Weston Smith, Nov 04 2002

(?) Roland the Roadie - for Mr Queke, ex-roadie ? http://www.sylviasm...%20&%20Gertrude.HTM
sorry but - from my most favourite album of all time [po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       Worst sex furniture: (1) cheap hammock (2) army cot (3) ?
jackoutofthebox, Nov 04 2002
  

       Okay, so there is always the floor but this could still be fun. Some people might quite like getting caught on barbed wire ;-o Also putting up more barbed wire could make a change from the "I've got a headache" excuse.
Miss Weston Smith, Nov 04 2002
  

       So the production of two asprin with your bedtime cocoa is now the way of saying that you're in for a night of passion? CrumbsDM, you old romantic!
Miss Weston Smith, Nov 04 2002
  

       Nuts, why would someone not want to have sex?
MrKangaroo, Nov 04 2002
  

       Because s/he's ugly
thumbwax, Nov 04 2002
  

       Even the members of the Royal Society For the Protection of Cruelty to Animals marching band.
skinflaps, Nov 04 2002
  

       Per MrKangaroo, I don't believe there is anybody who wants to lead a celibate life. Not who also wants to sleep with other people, anyway. As for the S&M and/or role play bits, I wouldn't know.
DrCurry, Nov 04 2002
  

       My Texan mother has always averred that an aspirin is the best contraceptive... held between the knees.
General Washington, Nov 05 2002
  

       I'm ashamed to say that I found something about this idea highly appealing, but I was forced to fishbone it 'cuz there's enough unhappy people with comfy beds who ain't gettin' none.
polartomato, Nov 05 2002
  

       That sounds well fun, So do you already have a model of the bed that we could test out Miss weston Smith?????????
The Sandman, Nov 06 2002
  

       First you have to get in it yourself before the bed can do any defending. You'll be slowed by the barbed wire and stuff. Why doesn't the virgin just hire the knight to fend off the dregs then the two of them could go celebrate in some farm field and watch the sun come up assuming they both were the romantic type as Missy mentioned.   

       That's curious Sandman that you would want to test out Miss weston Smith. I see her as more of the A-line skirt type while you are more of, well, a night crawler...
hollajam, Nov 06 2002
  

       Sorry hollajam, but i am quite a hopeless romantic, and i was refering to testing the Bed as a Knight of the Relm. Trying to save the fair maidon from all the Dregs of the world in a brave and courageous battle. Maybe its you who really needs saving, ask your self that question.
The Sandman, Nov 07 2002
  

       "Is it me who really needs saving", I ask myself...
hollajam, Nov 07 2002
  

       [waugs]... you're absolutely right. About musicians and everything. I am left wordless...   

       Although I'm all for making the foreplay more extravagant and interesting, for it makes for a greater reward, I think I must still fishbone this idea. I need as few impediments as possible at this point.
absterge, Nov 07 2002
  

       I have a very clear picture in my head Sandman, I'll have to show it you sometime. As for 'A-line skirt' type...I sometimes wonder what kind of image people have of me.
Miss Weston Smith, Nov 07 2002
  

       Had not seen that, waugs. So, if it's wet and doesn't move... dump it in a river and get out of town?
absterge, Nov 07 2002
  

       I picture you in a long 19th century - style dress and hat holding a rifle ('cause of Smith & Wesson, I guess).
snarfyguy, Nov 07 2002
  

       [MWS], DrCurry has proposed that you aren't a wet nurse.   

       So... just what is your _cup_ size?
hollajam, Nov 07 2002
  

       Big Gulp, me
Admiral Hackbar, Nov 07 2002
  

       [AH] No regrets from me for bursting your bubble but we all know here that I wasn't speaking to you.   

       In addition to that I note on the "Star Wars Galaxies" web site, your profile indicates you are only a 13 yr. old male. Hardly enough there to do what you dream of.   

       Get to bed sonny. Your dreams there will be better than the nightmares you'll have in this place...
hollajam, Nov 08 2002
  

       Being The Sandman i can get into anyone's bed!!!, and that does sound like a promise MWS.
The Sandman, Nov 11 2002
  

       [Sandman]Wouldn't you think of it more as a threat than a promise? Perhaps even a challenge.
Miss Weston Smith, Nov 11 2002
  

       If i come across any insomniacs then it gives me the oppotunity to stay up all night and do what ever we desire.   

       I can't see how it could be a threat, you seem way too nice. Plus I don't mind a little challenge, but you wouldn't be able to resist my charms, so it wouldn't be much of a test. Maybe we should do as waugsqueke suggests???
The Sandman, Nov 12 2002
  

       Oh behave, I'm trying to work.
Miss Weston Smith, Nov 12 2002
  
      
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