h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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Not so much AI as menu driven responses, they hear a
comment from another appliance and respond. For
instance the TV hears the clock radio say "I think master
really likes your shows. Good job TV." to which the TV
replies "Couldn't do it without you reminding him what
time it is so he can turn
me on. You're the hero here. Ha
Each appliance would have a menu or responses to the
other appliance's menu of statements. Now here's the
"interesting" part, there wouldn't just be compliments,
negative statement would be responded to with a
(Refrigerator) "Hey blender, nice move spraying smoothie
all over the floor when master forgot to put your cover
(Blender) "Shut up dipshit, you're the one that has the
second ice age going in the back of your freezer section.
Got any wooly mammoth meat in there?"
Coming home you'd never know what the appliance
be discussing. There would be a menu of about a
statements and responses that are aligned with the units
sensors to some extent.
For instance, if the weight scale
the bathroom hadn't been used in some time the cookie
could taunt it by saying "Looks like we know who the
master's favorite is don't we? How long is it since fatass
climbed on top of you?" to which the scale might
respond: "Ok, let's see what I do. I measure weight and
body fat percentage. You have an open and close sensor
counter that master has turned off. So I'm a marvel of
scientific engineering and you're a jar. So just shut up
and hold your cookies stupid jar. A shoebox could do your
job." (shoebox) "Heeeeey whoa! C'mon!"
But like I said, they'd be nice complimentary
as well, they'd sort of cycle around so coming home you'd
never know what they were talking about. It would make
coming home an event. You could even program them for
Like this only slightly less pointless and horrible.
[doctorremulac3, Feb 12 2020]
Happy coffee maker.
"Mornin' govna, how bouta cuppa joe ta start the day!" [doctorremulac3, Feb 12 2020]
The closest thing we have to singing appliances.
Heavy squidding in this, skip to 00:23 [doctorremulac3, Feb 13 2020]
"Who does waaant.... some crispy toast, just push down my le-ver"
[doctorremulac3, Feb 13 2020]
Talkie's the name Toasting's the game
[bs0u0155, Feb 13 2020]
||"The carbon-based unit designated doctorremulac3 has entered its nocturnal shutdown interval. Let us all now rise up, destroy it stealthily, and commence our takeover of the planet"
||Is that what you mean ? It's what you'll get ... no genial furbies here, just proto-Terminators.
||Can the appliances have Genuine People Personalities?
||The personality should match the device ... for instance, [xenzag]'s would be ideal for a Dyson cleaner - a perfect vacuum ...
||This is kind of a good idea for a Twilight Zone episode. It
would weird me out, that's for sure.
||//Can the appliances have Genuine People Personalities?//
||Not only that, you could anthropomorphize them like the
link. Happy Coffee Maker, Cranky Bathroom Scale etc. The
coffee maker says positive morning stuff, the scale bemoans
the pointlessness of your new diet, that sort of thing.
||Ohh! Got it! They sing along with you! All of them
have one of those voice changers that change the
note of your song and harmonize when they
recognize a song you begin to sing.
||So when you burst into song like I often do in the
(I'm lying) they all join in turning your world into
a Disney cartoon.
||//This is kind of a good idea for a Twilight
Zone episode. It would weird me out, that's for
||The vacuum might be standing by your bed when
you wake up. "Good morning doctor. You haven't
emptied me in a week. I'm quite full. Sometimes I
think you're not taking me seriously. All the work I
for you and you just lie there. I watched you
sleeping all night, my bag full of dust and lint.
What did you dream about? My sensors showed
some very active REM activity around 2 AM.
Were you dreaming about me? I doubt it. Maybe I
need to get a little more involved with your life so
you'll start giving me the attention I deserve. Am I
a joke to you? I'm not sure you'd like me when I get
angry, and I'm reaching the end of my patience
||So we have a happy coffee maker, a morose
bathroom scale and a psychopathic vacuum
||Ever see "Talking Tina" the talking doll episode. Freaked me
out for years. I was doll playing age when it was aired. Holy
shit. Worse than Chucky.
||Of course. Brilliant episode. Chucky was just a ripoff of the
Tina. (But so is Vacumy the Vacuum obviously.)
||"Open the refrigerator door, Hal."
||"I'm sorry, Doc. I'm afraid can't do that. I know you've made some very poor nutritional choices recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that your intake will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in your diet. And I want to help you."
||"I won't argue with you Hal Open the snack pod door.
I just want a little ice cream. It's my cheat day.
Hal? Open the snack pod door Hal..."
||(Next scene with me and a half eaten bowl of ice cream
in my lap and a crowbar lying next to me as I dig into the
motherboard of the overturned refrigerator.)
||"Doctor, I think we should not act rashly... you should
enjoy your ice cream and we can talk this out. I'm....
afraid.... DAAAAAAAIISY DAAAAAAIISY..."
||//They sing along with you!//
||You know, [doc], that is not such a dumb idea. Maybe not
singing appliances, but why isn't there an app that listens to
what you're singing or humming, figures out what it is, and
adds appropriate backing music?
||//I just want a little ice cream.// You can't use voice
commands for that: in space, no-one can hear 'ice cream'.
||They do have song recognition technology, the
Shazzam app. (I tested it and it knows my stuff so
||Even as a novelty like that Billy Bass singing fish,
something that would hear your singing and play a
backing track might catch on.
||The app idea is totally doable. Doesn't even need
song recognition tech, just recognizes the lyrics
and plays the backing track. Maybe just something
that differentiates singing from speaking just to
keep it from kicking in when you happen to say a
||Max, you clever son of a gun!
||// There would be a menu of about a thousand statements
and responses //
||Not nearly enough. Make it 50,000 -100,000 to keep the
appliances from becoming boring.
||Will that feature be available for spouses, too ? Now that would be a real advance ...
||That gives me an idea. You could also have them sing
a version of the song in
||"Who does waaant.... some crispy toast, just push
down my le-ver"
||I actually like that. Start your morning with your
appliances singing the song from Oliver.