Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cheap Diplomas

Harvard, Yale, Stanford, take your pick. $44.95 for a BA $74.95 for a PHD
  (+3, -6)
(+3, -6)
  [vote for,

It's easy if you use the right institutions to punch up your resume.

The Harvard Institute of hand truck and pallet jack studies. Earn your BA in the box stacking sciences in as little as 15 minutes.

The Yale University of locks and doorknobs.

The Stanford school of whittling.

These are not diploma mills. These are real diplomas made of intellectual grade 100% high quality card stock. Imagine the look on that hot lady's face when you casually mention that you're a Yale man. She'll be even more impressed when you tell her you don't like to talk about it. (shipping not included)

doctorremulac3, May 11 2014


       Wow! That had to set a record for fastest bone. Wasn't even finished writing it.
doctorremulac3, May 11 2014

       [-] If you have to name-drop your university, you have already failed to live up to your early potential.   

       Or you could, you know, realize that studying is worthwhile, and actually earn the degree and try to make a difference or be excellent at something.   

       The sticker price of college, while high, is only ~50% of the true cost -- you're also studying when you could have been working for money. And even at that price, it's still worth it in terms of increased earning power.   

       I want to see an entirely test-based college, that's essentially free. With the Internet, all knowledge is out there, free. In a better world, students could study independently (read, watch videos, etc.) and take rigorous (incredibly hard) tests to pass. Basically, do what the CFA exam does now -- a few tests, a (relatively) small fee, and a (financial analyst) degree without paying for a bunch of lectures and buildings.   

       I have sat through HUNDREDS OF HOURS of SHITTY LECTURES by teachers who were UNINTERESTED and MEDIOCRE. I learned nearly everything from reading textbooks and doing example problems -- most professors would rather be doing research, and most non-professor teachers don't know much more than what's in the textbook. I have been lucky to have learned from some good and inspiring people, but I have also seen the dark side of education, where a professor who doesn't really know the topic insults the students and gives unfair tests because it's easier than actually teaching. It could be SO MUCH BETTER -- if every class cost only $50 and had as much content (examples, analogies, practice problems, leaderboards) as a big-budget computer game.   

       Also, I resent that most people would rather meet attractive partners than build things that improve the world. The birds that live outside my house and the local raccoons are ALSO into meeting attractive partners, since I keep seeing baby birds and baby raccoons. Do you want to be an animal, or human??   

       The moral horror of this world is that people have chosen: not the basic research and scientific worldview that have improved our lives year upon year for the last few centuries -- but have chosen instead to be cool, watch sports and chase //hot ladies//. This failure to act will probably kill me, as it kills many of the over 100 people who die each minute. I try to keep perspective and appreciate the subtle beauty of cheap beer, college fraternities, and American football. One day, I might give into the nihlism and chase popularity instead of meaning, but not yet.   

       Please, go learn something interesting. If you're feeling ambitious, imagine a world where people figured out new medicines that let people stay young and healthy forever.
sninctown, May 11 2014

       I get the sense - primarily from the Yale / lock pairing - that this idea is based on some culturally specific puns.
calum, May 11 2014

       If the idea is fake degrees it's WKTI. If the idea is real institutions offering real degrees you'll have to add admission requirements, general education requirements, requirement for a certain total number of study hours, and you'll end up with an almost worthless degree that took the same amount of effort and money to attain.
Voice, May 11 2014

       I'm afraid the future of this idea is rather grim. I'd give you a pity bun but I'm not in the mood today. Today is Mother's Day and I can do as I damn well please, thank you. So no bun. Sorry.
blissmiss, May 11 2014

       Honestly if would have been a bit weird of this had gotten any buns.
doctorremulac3, May 11 2014

       You're too funny.
blissmiss, May 11 2014

       You could always give a fake bun?   

       Sort of did this, I was teaching computer stuff back in the 1990's, told the students to design and print their own certificates, as if they can't do that, they aren't that handy with a pc...I used the college stamp on them, and their names were in the database already...
not_morrison_rm, May 12 2014

       [marked-for-deletion] WKTE, not necessarily as a scam; the courts are there to weed those out leaving ones with a valid claim to a name, and isn't it somebody else's turn to be mfd'er this month ?
FlyingToaster, May 12 2014

       What's WKTE again? Didn't find it in the HB ops manual. Not denying it's WKTE, I'm sure it is, I just don't know what WKTE is.
doctorremulac3, May 12 2014

       Widely Known To Exist.   

       From the help file:   

       baked - a snarky way of saying "widely known to exist".
normzone, May 12 2014

       I'm not sure this is WKTE because I don't know of any diploma mills that are infringing Harvard, Yale and Stanford's trademarks. Diploma mills are baked, and fake diplomas are baked, but diploma mills that give you what look like a fake diploma are probably not baked. Still a terrible idea, but this is arguably the place for it.   

       This should also stay because of the discussion that's occurred, and because it belongs here more than some racist non-idea let's-alls that have not been deleted yet.
sninctown, May 12 2014

       Yeah I think we accidentally scared a productive newbie off :(   

       I called wkte because I've seen the meme used in a TV show or book or something a few times. I also attended a school which initials, by which it was usually referred to, were the same as a famous school, which also used its initials. Your mileage may vary; it's an opinion or at least a string of letters strung together: feel free to kick at it.
FlyingToaster, May 12 2014

       [sinctown]'s rant is a bit scary. I understood most of it and agreed up until the last sentence. URGH, could you imagine living forever? This is like a Twilight Zone episode where there are so many people alive, they would have to find places to live, work, and live again. Forever and Forever more. They would continue to meet attractive partners because they would all be young, but how young? What if everyone stayed 5 years old? Too weird.
xandram, May 13 2014

       Vote changed to [+] in hope that this user will post more ideas.   

       I agree this is probably WKTE.   

       Thanks for reading my rant. I signed up for cryonic preservation for added peace of mind, but I get that it's not for everyone.
sninctown, May 13 2014


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