Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Child Starfighter 2000

You won't believe your eyes!
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It starts off as a cage, you can order it in any colour or any size. It's for your child for things like going to the doctor because as many people know, all children hate doctors. So you just drop him off at the doctors and go back home and then, say, some burglars came. What is it in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's the cage you brought your child in except it's newly upgraded - it's got rocket boosters and machine guns that fire Smarties on the end of each wing. Your child has one controller with two buttons, one on each side to control the boost an one on each side to control the machine guns. Now he fires the Smarties at the burglars who run away. Now he gently releases him thumb from the boost button and lands and presses a button on the left hand side inside his cage to make the boosters and the Smartie machine guns fold up.
crash, Jan 08 2007

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       If the rocket-powered vehicle is outside the house, then the child will have no line-of-sight to the burglar, therefore cannot shoot him, especially not with smarties, which are limited in their ability to pierce brick walls, or even glass windows.   

       On the other hand, if it's inside the house, the rocket motor will trash the house, and possibly also the child. [-]
pertinax, Jan 08 2007
  

       Man, I wish the internets had existed when I was your age, crash. (+)
GutPunchLullabies, Jan 08 2007
  

       If I was a young chap I would want one of these.   

       What am I saying, I want one now.
DenholmRicshaw, Jan 08 2007
  

       I just want to be the burglar, getting Smarties fired at me.
wagster, Jan 08 2007
  

       //smarties, which are limited in their ability to pierce brick walls//   

       Depends how fast they're moving.   

       I'm curious about how you got the child into the cage in the fir...   

       ... it has rocket boosters?? Lemme try! Lemme lemme lemme!
BunsenHoneydew, Jan 12 2007
  

       I think many children would be upset at being confined to a cage in order to make them do something they hate. Presumably the doctor upgraded the cage to get the kid back in there. However these upgrades make the cage useless for its original purpose as now the kid can fly the cage away from things she hates. Bone from me for ruining a perfectly good toddler cage with rocket boosters.
bungston, Jan 12 2007
  

       I was halfway through the idea, and I went "Wow, this has to be [crash] !
normzone, Jan 13 2007
  

       @ BunsenHoneydew   

       but if the smarties where traveling fast enough to pierce brick walls then they would also have to be traveling fast enough to slow and or stop/reverse the trajectory of the aircraft, effectively stalling it, unless the mass of the aircraft was sufficiently great, in which case you would need a sufficiently powerful engine. i'm no physics major, but i guesstimate that the machine would have to outclass an A-10 in size so that it could contain a powerhouse which was capable of accelerating said smartie gently enough to prevent vaporization and yet for long enough to ensure penetration. furthermore, this idea is silly.
AzuriteT3, Feb 24 2010
  

       you had me at "cage" but lost me soon after.   

       I think if you want a regulation Smartie to go through a brick wall, you'll need some careful preparation of one or the other.
FlyingToaster, Feb 24 2010
  

       Would one gram of TNT (4000 KJ) get through a brick wall? For a 1.3 gram Smartie, I think that's about 1800 m/sec (5900 fps). 50 caliber saboted armor piercing rounds have, apparently, a velocity of only 4000 fps. But I may have misplaced a decimal point somewhere.
mouseposture, Feb 24 2010
  
      
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