Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog Glider

Dog flles a glider it launches by sliding down hill.
  [vote for,

Dogs can ride snow sleds and control skateboards. (see links)

They should be able to fly gliders as well. Basically a snow sled with wings.

I'm also thinking it might be possible for them to get a rolling glider up to speed on a flat surface, jump on it and shift their weight so it aims the wing equipped skateboard up long enough to do a short glide.

No ailerons, too heavy, just the twist wing control surface like the Wright Flyer used.

Now you'd probably need the pooch to launch into a good enough headwind but it would be flying dogs, which is after all, the goal here.

doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

This with wings. https://www.youtube...watch?v=Z28KOHtH4CQ
[doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021]

Note the balance they're capable of. https://www.youtube...watch?v=iRpqTV2zE0k
[doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021]

Feral Hogs in Texas https://www.youtube...watch?v=dhLJ1qWlNp4
[Skewed, Nov 14 2021]

Previous attempts at this idea. https://www.youtube...watch?v=QHDO78QfLbE
[doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2021]

Turns out Wile E was lucky he never caught the road runner. https://www.youtube...watch?v=zFDmcDW9uwc
[doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2021]

"I taught two dogs to fly a plane" https://www.theguar...dogs-to-fly-a-plane
[hippo, Nov 15 2021]


       //it would be flying dogs, which is after all, the goal here//   

       But surely pigs should have the prior claim to this art?
Skewed, Nov 14 2021


       Speaking of which, aren't pigs smart enough to pull this off? Wonder what would get the most views on Youtube. I hear you get a few tens of millions of views you can stand to make as much as 5, 10 bucks.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       //aren't pigs smart enough to pull this off?//   

       Generally considered to be a little smarter than most dogs by those who run experiments on that sort of thing.   

       //what would get the most views on Youtube//   

       Hard to say, certainly the old joke would pull in views, hard to say if that would exceed the known appeal of dog & cat videos though.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       Now I'm guessing the muscle to weight ratio of pigs is worse than for dogs no? I mean, the word "pig" is an insult for being too fat and un-aerodynamic.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       Why does it print twice like that sometimes?
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       Processor tangling up & delaying then you double click thinking it hasn't taken?
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       Dunno. I definitely didn't type it twice because I felt so strongly about it.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       //I mean, the word "pig" is an insult for being too fat and un- aerodynamic//   

       Only because we deliberately stuff them, the whole point of pig farming is to make them big, you can get lean & athletic pigs, particularly younger ones.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       If you want you can delete one of the double entry posts you know [doc], never deleted both when I've done that b4 if that's what you're worried about.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       I will, just wanted to leave it up to ask why it did that.   

       And don't pigs released to the wild and freed from the grip of their farmer jailers go feral and turn into warthog like killer beasts?   

       That's the rumor anyway.   

       Be a good logo for a political party that wants to fight totalitarian government and free its people.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       Feral pigs won't really develop wild boar characteristics that fast unless there's a locale population to interbreed with.   

       The ones in the US have been there a very long time & a lot of wild boar characteristics have reasserted themselves over that time in the wild yes (though that's repeatedly diluted by fresh escapees I imagine), but 'warthog' like killer beasts? no I don't think so :) not the same species.   

       //Be a good logo//   

       Perhaps not in the US? they don't appear to like them much there [link].   

       Going back to my previous comment about reversion to wild boar characteristics.   

       The first one in that link carries a lot of domestic characteristics, many of the later ones shown have more wiled boar like characteristics, which I think nicely demonstrates the reassertion of wild characteristics in feral populations & the dilution of that by newer escapes, later edit: though wild boar were actually introduced into the US in the 1900s & I don't know what breeds of pig were introduced by the Spanish (apparently attributed as the initial source of wild hog populations in the US) & what their characteristics were so any assumptions of genetic drift reasserting wild characteristics I might have made are complicated by that.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       Hmm. Didn't know wild pigs could be a scourge like that. Guess they cause problems.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       //Guess they cause problems//   

       Any non native invasive species can, native ones as well if you knock out the native species that control their numbers, but I think the definition of weed might be appropriately repurposed for animals here 'any plant growing where you don't want it', just switch out plant for animal in that sentence.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       Somewhat completely un-related I was just reading about that supposed man/chimp hybrid that mad Soviet scientists created. Proud that when I first read it years ago I called BS. Turns out it was.   

       Have no doubt they tried it because, well, they were Soviets, but the idea that some chimp with light skin photoshopping or makeup was human always looked like BS to me.   

       What does that have to do with feral hogs? Good question.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       The guy who tried it was a pre-soviet scientist, the soviets took over Russia after he already had tenure or something somewhere iirc & the only ape he had available wasn't a chimp, it was an Orangutan, he advertised (or maybe just planned to) for female volunteers (it was a male) but the ape was ill & I don't know as he ever had any semen samples from it to try with before it died on him, was a pretty basic idea he had based on artificial insemination which was new then (a turkey baster, a semen sample & a willing female volunteer), & the soviets actually sent him to Siberia so they can't have been very invested in the idea, it's actually doubtful his idea had even percolated up to the communist leaders awareness to be honest.   

       That is all from somewhat faded memory ^ so go check the facts for yourself if you're really interested.   

       But yes, as presented by the 'popular' press complete BS beginning to end, not a soviet idea, not a chimp, never actually happened.   

       It was literally no more than the equivalent of one mans solitary half bakery idea from b4 there was an internet.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       Ah ha, so there’s even more layers of BS to the story. Well, sometimes the genesis of folk legends can be as interesting as the truth.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       As with all good myths a kernel of truth twisted beyond all recognition :)
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       Hey, one of my favorite shows was Mythbusters. The JATO powered car disaster lost no entertainment value after being debunked. Made made me want to praise the creative person behind it.   

       Although it might have been something like details getting twisted. “Billy Bob was talking about his cousin wanting to strap a rocket on his car. That thing would have plowed into a mountain!” Several versions of the story later, the fact that it didn’t actually happen gets misheard and left out.
doctorremulac3, Nov 14 2021

       I guess some breeds of dogs are small and fast enough to lift off all on their own, but wings would likely impede the acceleration, so, we could make wings that expand when certain windspeed is registered, and released back to normal when lifting weight becomes negative.   

       So, I'm imaging a dog that expands the wings automatically, when reached appropriate velocity.
Mindey, Nov 14 2021

       I don't know about dogs, but a coyote might give it a go.   

       "Meep meep!"   

       [Leaps into air]   

       [Waggles feet]   

       [Settles back to the ground & vanishes into the distance at great speed before disappearing into a small tunnel at the base of a tall cliff]   

       [Pauses & waits from the 'crump' of winged coyotes hitting cliff face]   


       [Looks to camera & waggles eyebrows]
Skewed, Nov 14 2021


       <puff of smoke>   

       //puff of smoke//   

       Green, solid or oil? .. never mind just pass it here.   

       Actually that begs an off topic segue, can you even get any of that any more, I haven't smelt any of that in the street round my way for ages, maybe years, smell plenty of the artificial legal substitutes on the odd passer by (his names Dave, he's very odd, you'd know him if you saw him, the 'Dave' tattooed on his forehead is a dead giveaway) but not the real stuff, not for a while now, hadn't realised that until I just thought about it now, funny how word association works isn't it ..actually thinking about it it may have been a while since I smelt any of the substitute stuff either, still see a few of the whipped cream gas canisters though, that was a new one on me, most have come into fashion after my time.   

       Spent years wondering what on earth all the little gas cylinders were until I saw the cardboard box they came from with some of them, until then my best guess was paint ball gun gas cartridges, accept I never saw any paint ball gangs chasing through the park, was very perplexing until I figured it out.
Skewed, Nov 14 2021

       /I don't know about dogs, but a coyote might give it a go. — 2 fries shy of a happy meal//   

       (slaps my forehead) Why didn't I think of that?   

       This whole idea was a great setup for that and I totally missed the punchline!   

       (see multiple links)
doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2021

       //Green, solid or oil? .. never mind just pass it here.//   

       I honestly just meant that every time coyote would acme himself the result ended up him falling from a great height and landing with a puff of smoke.   

       ...and every time my little brother and I would yell, "Puff of smoke!" when it happened as a game to see which of us would say it first.   

       I probably should have lead with that... but you let me know you're coming for a visit and I'll twist one up for when you get here.   

       //(slaps my forehead) Why didn't I think of that?//   

       Because you are a mentally healthy adult not a perpetual child occasionally peering at humanity from within a shell.   

       "Heaven's to Murgatroyd... exit stage right even..."   

       Mines a very nice shell I'll have you know, got posters up inside of my favourite 80s stars & everything, what's yours like?
Skewed, Nov 15 2021

       //Because you are a mentally healthy adult not a perpetual child occasionally peering at humanity from within a shell.//   

       Well, not so sure about that sometimes. :)
doctorremulac3, Nov 15 2021

       //what's yours like?//   

       Echo-y. Ripply. Mostly empty. Almost as concrete as out here sometimes but not sustainably without becoming trapped... more like pearl diving and learning how to dive deeper and deeper without drowning.   


       ...that old chestnut.   

       //Generally considered to be a little smarter than most dogs//   

       Which is why they would be a poor choice to try to get into your contraption. They are also MUCH less eager to please than the humble canine. Throw some cats in the equation too and you might at least be able to literally make it rain cats and dogs if things don't go perfectly to plan.
AusCan531, Nov 15 2021

       //you might at least be able to literally make it rain cats and dogs if things don't go perfectly to plan//   

       I find the prospect of bacon sandwiches should it all go wrong a far more appealing alternative, should you perchance survive the experience I feel it would help make being whacked on the head by precipitate quadrupeds seem somehow less annoying.
Skewed, Nov 15 2021

       Dogs can fly aeroplanes, with a bit of help (see link)
hippo, Nov 15 2021

       Wait, where's the video? He just details it but no video?
doctorremulac3, Nov 16 2021

       That's true - he is asking us to take his word for it. It does say though that he did this for a TV programme, so I guess the video is being saved for that
hippo, Nov 16 2021


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