Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
We got your practicality ... right here.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Choose Your Own Religion!

  (+30, -3)(+30, -3)(+30, -3)
(+30, -3)
  [vote for,

Written in the same style as the "Choose Your Own Adventure!" book series. For those of you who are unfamiliar with that style of book, CYOA books are written with the reader as the hero. As you make choices through the story, you are informed of which page you must turn to based on your decisions. There are always multiple endings that you can reach by making new decisions each time you read it.

In the Choose Your Own Religion! book, the young reader gets to make a series of moral and spiritual choices to show him or herself what religion she/he/it should be. Choose Your Own Religion! should be long enough to encompass endings for most religious sects, with atheism and agnosticism also included as possibilities.

"If you eat the pork, turn to page 178.

If you refuse the unclean hog flesh, turn to page 93.

If you just don't like pork, turn to page 167."

notmarkflynn, May 10 2006

beliefnet.com: What Religion Are You? http://www.beliefne...6/story_7665_1.html
20 questions, while popup ads try to get you to purchase angel bracelets. Frustratingly incomplete. [jutta, May 10 2006]

quizfarm.com (54 questions) http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=10907
More questions, fewer outcomes. [jutta, May 10 2006]

(?) Create Your Own Deity Choose_20Your_20Own...on!/addlink#addlink
Is your God illogical or plausible? [imaginality, Jul 20 2006]

Battleground God http://www.philosop...t.com/games/god.htm
Are your beliefs about God rational and conssitent? [imaginality, Jul 20 2006]

Wikipedia: Flying Spaghetti Monster http://en.wikipedia...g_Spaghetti_Monster
The deity of Pastafarianism [jutta, Jul 23 2006]

Caliphs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caliph
vice president or disciple?? lol [tallbrownie, Aug 10 2006]

2005 surveys regarding support for Osama http://pewglobal.or...ay.php?ReportID=248
[theircompetitor, Aug 15 2006]


       Quality - I once wrote my own CYOA - 'The Pub Of Peril' - I'm in the process of webberising it at the moment in the style of the Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone books.   

       If you eat the mushrooms, turn to 3.1415926535897932384626433832 795028841971693993751058209749   


       If you walk past, turn to 9.
If you stop and fill out the 'personality test' turn to 47, or
If you launch into a septic tirade in defence of all that's good and decent in this world, turn to 99.


       If you lose all sense of time, space and self, turn to nirvana.   


       If your reply to Joshu is "Yes" turn to 34,
If you reply "No", turn to 96,
If you reply "Mu!" the page you turn to will be of no importance.
zen_tom, May 10 2006

       You could pass the idea to Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone and see what they say ..
kuupuuluu, May 10 2006

       "You feel unwell, do you think your illness is caused by:   

       A) Tiny animals too small to see inhabiting your blood.   

       B) The fact that you sinned yesterday and are being punished.   

       C) Evil spirits from that swamp you walked through without singing.   

       D) A spell cast by your neighbor who wants your cow pasture.   

       E) Disembodied victims from a 75 million year old nuclear genocide by an evil galactic emperor and his phyciatrist sidekicks."
Galbinus_Caeli, May 10 2006

       or all of the above.   

       I think that I am a ZenBuddhistPaganChristain with a touch of Native American Spirituality.....but I don't believe in Organized Religion. <flips to the back of the book to find out how the world is going to end>
xandram, May 10 2006

       Last page says:   

       "You are a ZenBuddhistPaganChristain with a touch of Native American Spirituality, return to page 1 for your next incarnation."
Galbinus_Caeli, May 10 2006

       ..........do not pass Go, do not collect $200....
xandram, May 10 2006

       But what happens *after* you've chosen a religion?   

       I think the book should create a code for you as you go, like "J7128BCC0109011411"; then you type it into a website and it writes a Bible for you...   

       ...which you can order a hard-bound copy of for $49.99.
phundug, May 10 2006

       It's definitely D [Galbinus], that bastard's been after my cow pasture since day one.
hidden truths, May 10 2006

       I'm first a Unitarian, then everything else.
reensure, May 10 2006

       Isn't this what people are doing with the Bible already? Picking the parts they want to read and believe? "I'll take some verses from the Gospel of John, the creation and flood from Genesis, and that stuff about smiting. But nothing about love and forgiveness--eww."   

       This idea is intended to be a diagnostics guide, but it would be interesting to test people and see if they "choose" the church/religion they are currently part of.
baconbrain, May 10 2006

       I always hate when I take an internet quiz that tells me I should be Jewish, or a Liberal, or a short order cook.   

       Not only can I not find myself spiritually, but my occupation is in question too.
notmarkflynn, May 10 2006

       ...keep searching my son...the answer may not be on the internet....most likely not...
xandram, May 11 2006

       The fundamental flaw in this is that you will only ever be able to choose an existing religion. You will never truly be able to choose your 'own' religion but only one that somebody else has invented.
DrBob, May 12 2006

       Church of No Pants sounds good enough for me.
moomintroll, May 12 2006

       [DrBob] is right. So if you keep disagreeing with the options given, the book should lead you to a blank page and instruct you to write your own cult, er, religion. Maybe it should do that anyway. By the time you finish the book you should have had exposure to at least the more popular ideas out there and then you could make up your own to fit whatever criteria you might have.   

       "I want my religion to have a bleeding cow on a cross wearing magical underwear for it's symbol."
NotTheSharpestSpoon, May 12 2006

       I read the book, made some bad choices, and now Jutta is god.
ldischler, May 12 2006

       [Jutta]- The Reluctant Messiah   

       <sings> She didn't want to do it,
She didn't want to do it,
You made her a God,
and all the time you knew it,
I guess you always knew it <sings>
NotTheSharpestSpoon, May 12 2006

       <nemesis>Terrible. People would take it too seriously and ruin their lives. Memento mori, notmarkflynn...</nemesis>
dbmag9, May 12 2006

       I'm sorry, I never saw "Memento". I hear it was good.
notmarkflynn, May 12 2006

       I've asked this before, but I'm still wondering about the exclusivity and reciprocity of the nemesis/nemisee relationship.
zen_tom, May 12 2006

       You can hate me if you want.   

       But, if I may brag, I've made three ideas today, and none got fishboned to hell. A celebration is in order.
notmarkflynn, May 13 2006

       Oh, I wouldn't dream of it - I personally think the institution of nemesis is a sacred one.   

       Imagine if someone else started being your nemesis, your old nemesis would start feeling a bit left out. Imagine the hurt! The pain! No. I wouldn't do that. There's a name for nemeses like that. And I don't like it.   

       Congrats on the fishbone non-attraction too.
zen_tom, May 13 2006

       [DrBob], it has long been my opinion that religion is a personal response to God rather than a whole let's-believe-in-Jesus no-let's-not thing. And so I guess only thought and self-examination can really tell you what "religion" you are; still, a book like this might shake up a few set-in-their-ways sort of people. Can you imagine, like the Pope would end up Hindu, or the Dalai Lama being a Christian Fundamentalist? Yeah.   

       Turn to page 77 to accept this croissant, [notmarkflynn].
bookends, May 14 2006

       [Published as an airport novel, the gate you arrive at would fly you to a country of your selected faith]   

       "This is your destination sir"   

       "But we are flying over the ocean at thirty thousand feet"   

       "Nevertheless, this is your destination. Would sir like to purchase a parachute or a life raft?"
Galbinus_Caeli, May 15 2006

       /I personally think the institution of nemesis is a sacred one. /   

       Page 94 - Church of the Sacred Nemesis.
"The chief end of man is to oppose someone else and stick at it forever".

       And for xandram we have the Entropic Temple of Disorganized Religion on page...er, hang on, it's here somewhere...I had it a minute ago...er...
egbert, May 15 2006

       Once again, I long for the tool to bun an anno string.
normzone, May 15 2006

       <nemesis>There is no reciprocity of this relationshipwreck. I would never deign to have notmarkflynn (accursed may he be) even look at my ideas. No, notmarkflynn, you may not brag.</nemesis>
dbmag9, May 15 2006

       If religious tenets could be seen as modular, would you have SubAssemblies of God?
RayfordSteele, May 17 2006

       That's me in the corner, choosing my religion.
sartep, May 17 2006

       //I've been touched by his noodly appendage!//   

       I always knew there was a problem with the Church of No Pants, but I just couldn't figure it out until now.
Zimmy, May 17 2006

       [egbert] I ripped that page out!
xandram, May 17 2006

       I saw a "choose your religion" *wheel* (out of paper) in a book store two days ago, consisting of a big wheel one turns and a small wheel that obscures all but the contents of three or four windows, listing responses to the major questions (e.g., "what happens after death") offered by the candidate religions whose names were printed on the outside.
jutta, May 17 2006

       Ha! Crazy Kansanites.
Good find [UB].
methinksnot, May 17 2006

       [UB], Thanks. That was great. (as was the lego church)
Zimmy, May 17 2006

       I think this book should end up only having one religion, and all of the other endings say "your soul burns in eternal damnation."
Worldgineer, May 17 2006

       Hmm, I could knock out a lighthearted website for this fairly easily with randomly assigned questions. Registered users of a determined faith answering questions would get logged then non-registered users answering would get told after 10 questions "you are 80% Christian, 15% Athiest, 5% Pastafarian"   

       If enough people used it, it would redefine religion, Catholisism is only defined by what Catholics believe so I could tell the pope with statistical proof what his religion should be preaching. "look here ya popeyness, 95% of Catholics said that they would use a rubber with the person they met at the pub. That means Catholics believe in contraception."
marklar, Jul 20 2006

       sp: popeyeness.   

       And he'd probably just tell you to get a pipe and eat some spinach.
hidden truths, Jul 20 2006

       Pastafarian? I'm not sure what the image is, but it's excellent. Somewhere between a Yardie and a mafioso.   

       A Pastyfarian, on the other hand, would probably be Cornish.
david_scothern, Jul 20 2006

       UnaBubba is a pastafarian, hes been "touched by his noodly appendage" see wikipedia for details, it's worth a read.   

       While you're on Wiki, why not check out the Jedi census phenomenon.   

       Pastyfarians are closely related to halfbakarians, both worshiping cresent shaped objects.
marklar, Jul 23 2006

       I want this product!! lol   

       It would be bad though, if we were all "guided" towards the violent Muslim religion (as opposed to the peaceful). Don't let Bin Laden see this idea! lol
tallbrownie, Aug 10 2006

       [tallbrownie] Welcome to the Bakery, a couple of questions:
How might Bin Ladin corrupt this idea to his own ends so as to "guide" the pages we turn to in a book? Why would he care? Are you suggesting he has superpowers? What in Allah's name (peace be upon him) is the 'violent' Muslim religion? And what the **** does Bin Ladin have to do with religion anyway?

zen_tom, Aug 10 2006


       Well, he could write the book or have someone write it. He might care because it might gain him more support and he could come out of hiding and enjoy the sunshine for a while. I say "violent" Muslims (meaning the other end of the spectrum) because I don't know what else to call it. It can't be called just Muslim or Islam, because as far as I know they are supposed to be peaceful. And Bin Laden CLAIMS that faith, but he seems to think it means to promote violence instead of peace. So, that is what it has to do with it. Is Muslim not a religion anymore? Or is Osama not Muslim anymore? I never knew these things have changed.
tallbrownie, Aug 10 2006

       I'm sorry [tallbrownie] I didn't mean to be rude, but I did find your earlier comment distasteful.   

       Just because someone follows a religion doesn't mean they need to be linked with that religion. Bin Ladin isn't a cleric, he's not interested in converting people to Islam, and he's not recognised as having anything to do with Islam.   

       What he is interested in is establishing a new Caliphate. Which is a political goal, not a religious one. And certainly one that wouldn't be furthered by getting people to turn to page 119.   

       Likewise for example, GWB claims to be a Christian, but it would be facetious of me to suggest that he might have an interest in causing us all to turn to page 25.
zen_tom, Aug 10 2006

       No biggie, but I am confused. You say Osama's goal is not religious...but a caliph is a successor to the prophet, like a disciple. So, if Osama's goal is discipleship...couldn't you say it was religious as well as political?
tallbrownie, Aug 10 2006

       Not really, no. A Caliph is a ruler - yes it's dressed up in religious language - the same way the Queen of England is the person God chose to plant on the throne, but whenever the UK drop bombs, in her name, we're not accused of religious fundamentalism. It's the same thing. You have a right to be confused, it's double standards.
zen_tom, Aug 10 2006

       I see...so Muhammed's (*spelling, sorry) successor was not the first Caliph? I only ask this because I only know Caliphs to be associated with religion and not any political system, and I know this began with Muhammed's doctrine. I am just wondering if this is older than that, or if it is used elsewhere outside of Islam. I'll see if I can find a link to show you what I am getting at... I put it on the links above.   

       BTW I took that test on the beliefnet link to find out what religion I was. I got to the last page and kept hitting "next" for the result...and nothing ever happened!   

       Does that mean I have no religion? Or was it a trick?   

       I'm a little self conscious here.
tallbrownie, Aug 10 2006

       //I see...so Muhammed's (*spelling, sorry) successor was not the first Caliph? //   

       And? A religious connection to a Medieval system of government really isn't anything new, or unique. And the power struggle between Church and State has always been apparent ever since Churches (Mosques and Templry of any kind) and States appeared on the scene. Again, nothing new, unique to Islam, the Caliphate, or for that matter, Bin Ladin.
zen_tom, Aug 10 2006

       a quick scan of wikipedia suggests that the caliph started out as both a spiritual and temporal ruler (poltiical and religious, if you like), but that his religious authority was eventually overruled by the ulema (a body of religious scholars), so after that he was just a political ruler.   

       And when it comes to Bin Laden, that's not a phenomenon unique to Islam, either - just think: the Crusades gave rise to some pretty un-Christian and reprehensible behaviour, even though the original motives may have seemed noble enough. If you're into that sort of thing.
moomintroll, Aug 10 2006

       [tallbrownie], the only thing Bin Laden seeks to do with religion is to exploit it. He is using the fact that there is a segment of followers of Islam with much the same attitude as some of the early Christians ("we're right, they're wrong, they must die in fire" etc)to try to leverage power for himself and change the world in ways that suit him. In this sense, yes he's Muslim but he's rejected by the majority of Muslims who don't share his whacked out view of things.

If you delve back into the Old Testament, when Christian God was still hardcore, you can find many choice proclamations that if applied literally in today's world would be regarded as nuts, so it's the same sort of thing just a few hundred years later.
DocBrown, Aug 10 2006

       Religion is a flaw in the pattern recognition engine. And DrBob, it's the same thing, other than that nukes and missiles make it slightly different.
theircompetitor, Aug 10 2006

       Alright! Alright!   

       I did not mean for my comment to lead to apologetics.   

       I only meant to say that a book like this could be dangerous, if written or "edited" by the wrong person.
tallbrownie, Aug 15 2006

       relax, [tall]. Everyone likes to point out all religions have or had militant factions. For that matter, as DocBrown points out, the Old Testament is pretty genocidal in its commands.   

       I'd love to know where DocBrown got his stats on majorities. Care to tell us what percentage actually supports Osama, Doc? There are published polls, you know. I'm attaching one.
theircompetitor, Aug 15 2006


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle