Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clean tuna can opener

for (mercury free) tuna fish cans
  [vote for,

[Edited] so your hands and surroundings stay clean of the oil.

Not sure how to make it, though.

My daughter said it should be with tissue somehow around the can.

I'm looking for a simpler solution. Maybe a plastic container around the whole thing, and the top is pulled open by squeezing it. It comes with a fork so you never have to touch the stuff with your hands.

pashute, Nov 25 2012

(?) Tuna fish mercury meter http://seaturtles.o...i7bMCFQRc3godoT0A2w
[pashute, Nov 26 2012]

P38 http://www.richard-...004/Sampler/P38.jpg
Not its traditional job but I think it could open a can. [Voice, Nov 27 2012]

How much tuna can you eat? (see tuna can!) http://www.bodybuil.../fun/mroussell5.htm
[xandram, Nov 27 2012]

HERE is your answer- Tuna press and strainer!!! http://www.simplysm...Strainer_p_359.html
[xandram, Nov 27 2012]

This solves the problem... Cat_20food_20can_20shotgun
[normzone, Nov 27 2012]


       I can't help but feel there's part of the story missing.
FlyingToaster, Nov 25 2012

       what does the can have to do with mercury? What does opening the can have to do with mercury? what does tissue have to do with opening a can? Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights-out? Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out?
Voice, Nov 25 2012

       Tuna comes in easy-open bags, now, you know.
DrCurry, Nov 26 2012

       Not sure I understand, is the idea to prevent the _can_ from getting mercury on it, the _fish_ from getting mercury in it, or you hands from getting covered in mercury-infused fish? Because I have never (as far as I know) encountered any of those problems...
erenjay, Nov 26 2012

       "ah yeah, ah yeah, ah, ah, ah. Ah yeah, ah yeah, ah, ah, ahhhhhhhh"...   

       [21], what have you started...?
normzone, Nov 26 2012

       Does that song also have a catchy tuna?
pocmloc, Nov 26 2012

       It is unwise to eat large amounts of tuna with iffy sources.
wjt, Nov 26 2012

       //iffy sources// or sauces, for that matter.
erenjay, Nov 26 2012

       This idea is an unorganized grabastic piece of amphibian shit.
nomocrow, Nov 26 2012

       A can of worms.   

       Now that I edited and linked everything together, can we get on with an inventive sort of discussion? I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition!
pashute, Nov 26 2012

       You don't want to touch it with your hands, but you want to eat it??...or you mean the can? Don't get tuna packed in oil, get the one packed in water.
xandram, Nov 26 2012

       I'll have a go:   

       title: Clean tuna can opener   

       subtitle: for opening tuna cans without getting your hands dirty   

       idea: <leave this field empty>
Voice, Nov 26 2012

       Just eat steak. Last time I knew steak was mercury free, unless its a road killed cow
evilpenguin, Nov 26 2012

       Per at least one study, steak apparently runs about 5ppb depending on where in the cow it came from. Canned light tuna (as opposed to white) has about 57ppb.   

       So, no it's not mercury free. (Eggs run about 30ppb).   

       What I'm trying to figure out is what keeping the packing oil (which does not significantly affect mercury concentration) off your hands has to do with mercury. It's not like the mercury comes from the can either.
MechE, Nov 26 2012

       mercury scavenging nanobots?
Voice, Nov 26 2012

       I'd settle for a mechanism that keeps the packing liquid from shooting into my crotch when I squeeze the can.   

       I still don't know what the post is about though.
FlyingToaster, Nov 26 2012

       There's some confusion about the type of can, I think. Around here, tuna comes in short cans that are otherwise bog-standard. It takes a can opener to get them open.   

       Some aluminum cat-food cans around here have a pull-tab scored top, that requires no can opener or any tool, but I've not seen human-food tuna in one. Maybe "mercury-free" tuna come in such a can, where [pashute] shops, and thermometer-grade tuna in a can-opener can.   

       Opening a flimsy pull-top can would be messy, indeed, as the can collapsed under the grip needed to pull the top off.   

       But, aside from the confusion about all that, the idea, as edited, still contains the phrase "Not sure how to make it, though." Which means it isn't an idea, but a wish.   

       I'd halfbake what I think is the problem by holding the can down with a suction cup underneath the can. Since the idea has nothing like that, I should fishbone. I dunno why I'm not ... pity, maybe? [ ]
baconbrain, Nov 27 2012

       A machine that holds the top, bottom, and sides of a standard tuna can with electromagnets. It then uses a metal punch to punch through the top and bottom of the can. The metal bits are discarded and the tuna is allowed to fall into a bowl where it is mechanically pressed to separate solid from liquid. The liquid is discarded. Then a little squirty thing deposits the desired amount of mercury from "just a touch" to "mad hatter"
Voice, Nov 27 2012

       the sides of the can are scored vertically, then it's put into a press. The sides split, squishing the tuna juice out. The can can then be opened normally.   

       Or get a P38: you can then put the can on the table and open it without tilting.   

       Or open it, angled away from you, above the sink or cat.
FlyingToaster, Nov 27 2012

       //P38// Walther or Lockheed?
pocmloc, Nov 27 2012

       Boil the can to remove the label and glue. Then finely grind the entire can and its contents. Finally use an extremely powerful magnet plus a bit of agitation to pick out the bits of metal. The remaining tuna can be pressed mechanically and repacked into a new can.
Voice, Nov 27 2012

       ^^Acme, I believe.
FlyingToaster, Nov 27 2012

       I think we just hit on the problem: He's been eating the cans. So really what were looking for is a tin opener that will significantly reduce the about of can that you have to eat with your tuna.
WcW, Nov 27 2012

       "Spent my money, took my car, started telling her friends she's gonna be a star" (Oh, and link to a means to address the issue in the idea).
normzone, Nov 27 2012

       Writing with tears in my eyes (due to laughter but nothing to do with mercury) so sorry if I'm not clear again.   

       Voice got it right. The mention of mercury was only a futile attempt to remind my fellow americans (defined by their crave for tuna) to limit their eating of it.   

       The idea gives two possible outlines to possible implementations.   

       Xandram's link shows a tuna press and strainer. But then you have to clean THAT.   

       So here's a more refined outline of my proposal merging mine with my daughter's.   

       A large nutcracker type of clutch pliers with two handles, catches the can on its sides. A spirit level on one of the handles helps you keep the can at level and squeezing it lightly actually frees the top. A third lever from above with a magnet covered with a disposable tissue tip, lets you squeeze the oil out, and then remove the lid.   

       Alternatively for cans with a self-opening tip, the third handle has a small claw that can grasp it, and assist with pulling the lid open, and then pushing it to squeeze the oil out, and finally to remove the lid.   

       If this simple opener would be in widespread use, the tuna would be shipped with the peaces of napkin/tissue so that you never need to wash this thing.   

       Its an idea not a wish, because I gave a half baked outline (actually two) for the solution. And the tuna in the can was cooked.
pashute, Nov 28 2012

       Yes we do. Back in the 80's when Israel had mostly local tuna fish, definitely NOT the "chunk light" when american people came for a visit, they would bring with them suitcases with tuna. And it wasn't for sale or profit. It was for PERSONAL USE.   

       When groups came and were served the Israeli tuna, after being told that americans like tuna (and peanut butter - to the same affect) they would look at it and not touch it. The organizers and hotels all knew of this, and organized importing large amounts of "US" tuna fish for them.   

       Then the save dolphins campaign started and Israel started receiving tons of unwanted extremely low cost Starkist cans. Then Israel went dolphin friendly, and Starkist became (or at least printed on their cans) "dolphin friendly" too.   

       So your right: Other countries now like tuna too. But Israelis for example are not dependent on it, as they are on cucumbers and chicken, as opposed to most Americans that can hardly imagine themselves without tuna (and ham).
pashute, Nov 28 2012

       Are you sure it wasn't just that the American tourists were bringing tuna as a last resort to eat in case they couldn't find anything locally that they could stomach? Tuna may not have been the first choice of food, but it is packs easily. I wouldn't be surprised to find that there was a popular travel book about Israel or a tour company handout that recommended bringing food just in case with tuna as an example.
scad mientist, Nov 29 2012

       I think [scad] has it, there. I've packed tuna and crackers for travel food, my own self.   

       My trick for opening tuna cans is to wipe/wash the top clean, then place the can carefully flat, use the can opener to pierce the lid in two places opposite each other, flip the can over almost all the way, and pour the oil out one hole while the other lets air in. Then wipe off the drips, flip the can back to flat, open the lid the rest of the way, and drop the lid in, flip the can nearly over, use the lid to to squish the oil out, tilting just right, and put the can back flat and somehow get the lid out.   

       Actually, I now just hold the can flat while using one of those can openers that cut outside the rim, lift the top off, add condiments, and eat the tuna and oil with a spoon, maybe stirring it up to daub onto crackers.   

       I gave up on removing the oil when I realized I was replacing it with mayonnaise, which is mostly oil. It's a lot easier, cheaper and less messy overall to just eat it.   

       Then I gave up on canned tuna after eating fresh tuna. Then I gave up on all tuna after seeing a vid of them hunting---they are beautifully streamlined predators.   

       [pashute], thanks for the clarification regarding mercury.
baconbrain, Nov 29 2012

       so you don't eat tuna and do eat bacon?   

       did you see food inc?
pashute, Nov 30 2012

       OK, after brain's description of the process, for those of us who use Humus rather than mayonnaise and for those who feed the cat dish with the oil here's another dab:   

       You drop the tuna can on its side into a vertical slot, which has a small "shelf" in it, so the tuna can is now caught in the middle. You then press the electric button. Said tuna can is then pressed on both sides causing lid to be removed and oil to pour out, without touching any parts.   

       Pressing a second electric button releases the grip on the can, still held on the "shelf" and lightly pushes the cover down, causing it to drop into the garbage can.   

       Finally, a third press releases the "shelf", the can with the tuna tumbles down and by the shape of the "opener" is forced to land with the open side underneath. The tuna is pushed out of the can by gravity and following the abrupt stop, into your plate.   

       You can then pick the upside down can from the sides, without touching any oil.
pashute, Nov 30 2012

       ... so, is tuna packed in water instead of oil not sold where you people live?
gisho, Nov 30 2012

       water packed tuna still makes a mess and still needs to be well drained for the sake of flavour.
Voice, Nov 30 2012

       Clearly what's needed here is a combination high speed can- opener / mercury-extraction centerfuge. Surely the Israelis have a spare centerfuge laying around someplace. Maybe even conveniently located inside a 'canning factory.'
RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2012

       According to our newspapers the tuna sold in Israel doesn't have the mercury problem that the US tuna has, because the reports in the states were about a certain type of tuna only. So no centrifuges are needed.   

       Is it true that the reports were restricted to a certain type of tuna, or is it for tuna fished anywhere in the world?   

       I can't use the centrifuge I have in my basement to check out Ford's idea, because it may be needed in an emergency for cleaning orange juice from nucular fallout.   

       But seriously, lets please stay on the tuna opener topic. This is an issue that may be realized, if accomplished, as the turning point of the 21'st century.
pashute, Dec 03 2012


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