Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Destructionism Keg-Can

can also be used for constructionism
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

Based on my 8-hour average (from 2100 to 0500), it is found that a typical alcoholic like I can drink more than a 30 pack. Therefore, for the hardcore party people, a new product is offered. The 2 gallon keg can.

The keg can has a wide-mouth opening, to appear like a conventional can, but is closable to keep the beer from decarbonating. The cross-section is more of a donut, so the inside can house a tube of ice or other cooling means. Pour in the ice, and your beer stays cool. Pour in whatever type of beer you want, it's only a container. The effect being you can have as much beer as you want(provided it's less than 2 gallons) while still maintaining cold fresh beer. It also means you don't have to walk /swim to the cooler whenever you need a beer nearly as often.

Constructed with aluminum and shaped as a keg to complete the effect. Optional handles on both sides. Gives new meaning to "beeramid". <edit> As an option, a small waterproof box can be molded into the top w/hinged lid for holding cigarrettes, license, other valuables, etc.

destructionism, Aug 06 2004

The Molson Bubba http://www.iam.ca/bubba/main.php?case=
[the_art, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Don't you have a Kegerator? http://www.realbeer.com/edu/kegerator/
And you call yourself an alcoholic... [Mr Burns, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Alcohol and nightswimming--it's a winning combination!
Thanks a bunch, Lenny.
yabba do yabba dabba, Aug 06 2004

       [contracts] well, toobing anyway.   

       <quick math> 2 gallons is 256oz, which translates to 21 1/3 12oz beer cans.
destructionism, Aug 06 2004

       Gallon kegs are not new, but I like the donut-shape for ice. One croissant, dipped in the foam and chewed with great relish....
normzone, Aug 06 2004

       Are we talking about beer (Guinness, IPA, bitter, ##/-, etc.), where the process of pulling the drink, if done correctly, imparts a certain flavour and texture? If so this gets a big fishbone. (I'm guessing from the fact you are drinking cans that this is not the case.)   

       If it's for lager, then bread.
suctionpad, Aug 07 2004

       [bwv61] After the 15th beer or so I tend to forget everything that I did afterwards. I only have clues to lead me to believe this, i.e., I bought a 30 pack last night, nobody was there, and now it's completely empty. I usually find all the empty cans laying around, and I know it was me that drank them since I poke a hole in the top to counteract the vacuum effect of the can during drinking.   

       [suctionpad] I drink Shiner Bock. I love the taste, it reminds me of the beer I had in Germany. And, I can go to the brewery and get it for almost nothing. Like $12 for a 30 pack. I tried this idea last night with a 1 gallon pitcher, no lid. The beer din't stay chilly, but the carbonation was just as strong. Regardless, the test was only an excuse to drink.   

       [TO EVERYONE] I didn't think of this as a means to taste beer. I thought of this for the rowdy crowd. It's for those party occasions everyone gets slobbering drunk and out of control(err, responsibly, out of control), preferably on the beach, at the lake, on the river, out in the woods, etc.
destructionism, Aug 07 2004

       [l3EA] Numerous possibilities could be added to the DKC. A valve for shotgunning, a valve stem for recarbonating beer, a sight glass to see how much beer is left, etc. This would be the ultimate cup for keg parties. Drink all night, fill up whenever, and wind up having the only beer at the party when the keg is empty. As far as saving time, it's not just about the pouring process. Consider all the time and effort it takes to pry yourself away from what you're doing just to get up and grab another cold one. On top of the horrible 10-20ft voyage you might have to embark on, this would definitely save time.   

       Funnel/beer bongs are nice if you want to gulp as much as you can as quick as you can, but how easy would it be to carry one of these things around a party all night without spilling it?   

       If nothing else, people would see your keg can and think, "Gee, this person likes beer. Alot."
destructionism, Aug 08 2004

       Cry for help disguised as an idea.
thumbwax, Aug 08 2004

       [thumbwax], what in the world gives you that idea? I think you don't like me.   

       [Rods] The results of the mini keg search are nice, thanks. They're roughly the type of canister I had in mind.
destructionism, Aug 09 2004

       It's not that I don't like you, rather: "Based on my 8-hour average (from 2100 to 0500), it is found that a typical alcoholic like I can drink more than a 30 pack."   

       Whether you use the term "alcoholic like I" in jest or not, that's consuming a beer every 16 minutes for 8 hours (stopping *at* 30), which is nothing to brag about. Whether you seek treatment or not, I do hope you mop occasionally, as your aim must be affected.
thumbwax, Aug 09 2004

       Where in Texas do you live, Destructionism?
GutPunchLullabies, Aug 09 2004

       [thumbwax] I'm not really an alcoholic, I just affectionately call myself that. Some nights I really have nothing better to do than lay in my hammock and drink all the beer I want. And I do believe I excel in this category.   

       [bwv61] Yes, I am Andre the Giant size. Ok ok not really...6' 180lb. I think most of it just goes straight through me. I have scores of pimiento and bread because nothing goes better with beer than that. It's also not too often I drink all 30 of them. Just for occasions when I have absolutely nothing to do for the next day or two. I appreciate the defense by the way :D   

       [Rods] I suppose it is a waste, but I just can't bring myself to break away from shiner bock. As for long term side effects, well, I've always wanted to die in a fiery crash rather than on a hospital bed.   

       [gutpunchlullabies] For now, I have a little spot in Rockport, north of Corpus Christi, south of Galveston. I enjoy the location during the summer.
destructionism, Aug 09 2004

       This is great for the unlikely event that you arrive to a party late and all the beer is gone...thank goodness you brought your own 2 gallon keg can.
Machiavelli, Aug 10 2004

       baked... see link
the_art, Aug 10 2004

       Next up: The "Destructionism Keg 'O' Whiskey"   

       On second thought, that would get too out of hand. Nevermind.
destructionism, Aug 10 2004


       How you gonna come up with these great ideas with no brain to do it with?   

       2 Gallons? You need to invent something for the bladder.
popbottle, Jun 26 2013

       The Bubba comes pretty close except it's a keg with a spigot. I like the donut crossection for ice in the middle.
FlyingToaster, Jun 26 2013


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