Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cleavage Airbags

For men who want one last glance at beauty before serious injury.
  (+14, -13)
(+14, -13)
  [vote for,

A cleavage shaped airbag, painstakingly painted/printed for realism. So men can see, if only for an instant, their favorite things in the world before being hit in the face at 100 mph.

And for the women, a Brad Pitt Abdominals model is coming soon.

Blumster, Jun 05 2005

Guns don't kill people, airbags do. http://www.scienceblog.com/cms/node/8072
[daseva, Jun 06 2005]

Here it is http://www.gizmodo....ovements-108056.php
It was only a matter of time. [contracts, Jun 16 2005]

Novelty Airbags Identical idea posted two years previously [notexactly, Feb 10 2016]


       Ah...couldn’t this engender a cleavage phobia? “Get those out of my face!”
ldischler, Jun 05 2005

       I can't tell if you're being dense or making a joke pa've, but niether are appreciated.
Blumster, Jun 05 2005

       Oops. Wrong idea. Thought this was for lady drivers, sorry.
reensure, Jun 05 2005

       // their favorite things in the world //   

       I think most men are at least slightly less shallow than this.
waugsqueke, Jun 05 2005

       Even if this does assume men as shallow, the concept is good. The theists out there could possibly get an image of their preferred after-life printed.   

       This could be expanded to other last images. For some reason, my local town council has had a sign for The Samaritans placed at the bottom of a cliff that is a local suicide spot. They could have at least drawn some cool pictures as well.
hidden truths, Jun 06 2005

       [waugs], it's no good if they're shallow.
theircompetitor, Jun 06 2005

       //The theists out there could possibly get an image of their preferred after-life printed.//   

       What for? They are going to see just that right after, if things go too wrong.   

       I don't think this idea is too bad. But maybe that's because we (mexicans) are used to make death look like a humorous thing; we laugh about it to make it less "scary". Why are you people taking this so seriously? Men like boobs! So what? I like to see a good tushy as often as possible, too. That doesn't make human beings shallow. It makes us... human beings.
Pericles, Jun 06 2005

       heh, he used the word 'tushy'. I always laugh when I hear that word.
kaz, Jun 06 2005

       not offended, just not laughing...
Blumster, Jun 06 2005

       Shallow: Lacking depth of intellect, emotion, or knowledge.   

       [waugs], understand my friend, that I am not here to destroy your beautiful website. In fact, I like to add to the place. I know its hard for you to believe, but its true.   

       The other annotators were spot on. This could be extended to a number of things. Geez, you could throw a picture of your sweet old granny up there for all I care. Whatever gets you off.   

       The "meat" (since we like to debate over things in such a humane way) of the concept is good. The "cleavage" (and, I must stress that I never used the B word) part was simply to put the icing on the cake.   

       It was a social commentary if that makes you feel any better [waugs].   

       I think that plenty of people who have quite a lot of intellect, emotion, and knowledge also like the female form.   

       Is there something so wrong with that? I don't go groping women on the street, or making cat calls, but society doesn't have me by the balls enough to ignore my instincts. Apparently yours are clenched pretty tight.
Blumster, Jun 06 2005


       At least with a cleavage shaped airbag/s chances of breaking ones nose would be reduced.   

       What [tc] said. Hee hee!
wagster, Jun 06 2005

       Blum, feel free to continue tossing all that ad hominem my way. At least you're leaving someone else alone.   

       Please note your paragraphs of response are in regard to my single sentence observing that I believe most men might be more concerned with other things than BIG TITS at the moment of death. You are much too concerned with what I say, my friend.
waugsqueke, Jun 06 2005

       ///You are much too concerned with what I say, my friend.///   

       Well [waugs], you certainly seem to be.
Blumster, Jun 06 2005

       I have nothing against you personally [waugs], but I thought I'd give you a little taste of your own medicine re: ad hominem attacks, as you've been known to throw 'em around yourself. Don't deny it.   

       But look, I guess I overreacted when you responded to 5 or 6 of my ideas (in a row) in a mean or degrading fashion. I started getting defensive, assuming the worst, etc... And I do sincerley apologize.   

       However, now that I realize that you simply have a condesending personality (as you constantly make abundantly clear) it makes me feel a bit better.   

       Since you don't want so much weight attached to your words, I'll take everything you say from now on with a grain of salt. OK?   

       We friends?
Blumster, Jun 06 2005

       The best way to remember anything is to be slapped in the face, right? So here you are, slapped in the face. With what, though? Cleavage? That’s pointless. You can remember cleavage fine without being slapped around. So, what if you were slapped by some cell phone company. Or better: you’d never forget Slappy’s White's Legal Services, would you? That’d be stuck in your mind forever. So why not sell AD SPACE on air bags?
ldischler, Jun 06 2005

       Pah! Just my luck to have a crash in the Calista Flockhart GTi.
coprocephalous, Jun 06 2005

       Ouch! You ok?
wagster, Jun 06 2005

       [murd], you clearly did not read my recent annotation, which read as follows: ///This could be extended to a number of things. Geez, you could throw a picture of your sweet old granny up there for all I care. Whatever gets you off.///   

       If large breasts aren't your thing, have a picture of the old family farm, or a dead pet you had as a child, etc...Catch my drift yet?   

       [ldischler], advertising to those about to be seriously injured seems like just about the worst idea in history. Giving a driver one last glimpse of that he loves most is not.
Blumster, Jun 06 2005

       Oh yeah?! Well, here’s a fishbone then!
ldischler, Jun 06 2005

       I love your clever retorts [lds]. That's so fresh.
Blumster, Jun 06 2005

       Reading the title, I assumed the idea would be centered around the shape being safer, as [2fries] pointed out.   

       I think, for maximum thrills, an inflatable open-mouthed dragon should jump out at the moment of impact.
Detly, Jun 06 2005

       how about a nice big chocolate cake?   

       why have airbags if they don't save your life?
po, Jun 06 2005

       sp: nEIther.   

       Oh and a - for the idea. What I would like to see most when crashing is that good old reliable and thouroughly tested white pillow shaped airbag. But I'm biased. I like to think that the last thing I can do in life is sleep.
Susan, Jun 06 2005

       Wouldn't you face get stuck in between the air boobs, and then you couldn't breath? Bad.
daseva, Jun 06 2005

       Hmm and how about if you just looooove the rocky mountains?
Susan, Jun 06 2005

       Ducklings. Calming ducklings.
contracts, Jun 06 2005

       Cake airbag's good. FYI: The television show "Saturday Night Live" had a sketch in which accident victims were saved by Jiffy Pop (popcorn containing) airbags. They sat happily munching while awaiting the ambulance.
crater, Jun 06 2005

       ...somehow I feel conflicted about the notion of having my face buried in bosoms while at the same time receiving massive traumatic injuries (although that may in fact be the secret desire of certain men).
crater, Jun 06 2005

       ooh, not ducklings, I think some of us proved that didn't work.
po, Jun 06 2005

       You know someone's going to drive into a brick wall just to prove the ducklings exist.
Worldgineer, Jun 06 2005

       How about a personal injury lawyer's business card printed on the airbag? Might come in handy at a time like this.   

       Or a coconut cream pie airbag, for those who want to go out with a laugh?
Machiavelli, Jun 06 2005

       "Now, Phil, you've worked here in the airbag factory for a couple of months now, and I've asked you into my office because I have concerns about whether you're really fitting in here. I've had complaints about your evangelizing. I know you're an atheist, and you've been enthusiastic in telling people this, but quality control have been finding more and more airbags with 'THERE IS NO GOD' written on them, and it's got to stop. And I don't want to see 'YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL, AREN'T YOU LUCKY?' either. I realize you think that's a positive message, but it's not in line with company policy. So no more, okay?"   

moomintroll, Jun 06 2005

       "This is going to hurt"   

       I'd think it'll only take one nipple-related loss of an eye before this project is scrapped.
Worldgineer, Jun 06 2005

       I bun this idea. The boobs part is great and so are the other possibillities. Hmm now which would I want? The boobs or the big quassant?   

       But stop picking on [Waugsqueke], he's mine!
zeno, Jun 06 2005

       Personal abuse aside, surely the point of impact for the unfortunate nork-gazer is, by definition of anatomy, the part of the torso with the least 'meat' (as in idea)?.
Surely the Triple Breasted Whore fro Eroticon Six would be a safer design guide?.
gnomethang, Jun 06 2005

       zeno, I think waugs is a little deficient in the boobs dept., if thats what you hoped for.
po, Jun 06 2005

       He he.
zeno, Jun 06 2005

       \\Surely the Triple Breasted Whore fro Eroticon Six would be a safer design guide?\\ I thought that was the Fifth Element.
hidden truths, Jun 09 2005

       Man, there is some serious debate here ^   

       Sounds like something very similiar to a scene in Family Guy. The local sex-fiend Quagmire has women airbags, and naturally, when they are deployed upon crash, the passengers' faces are flung between the womens legs.
kuupuuluu, Jun 10 2005

       And Zeno, I beg to differ...
blissmiss, Jun 10 2005

       This sounds a little like it should have been posted by [JG Ballard].
wagster, Jun 11 2005

       [contracts] - Just needs some stick-on nipples.
wagster, Jun 16 2005

       Perhaps the side-impact airbag should look like my dad's hand - WHAM! Look where you're driving, dumb@$$!
elhigh, Jun 16 2005

       Or those serious-pucker-moment pyrotechnic seatbelt cinchers should come with seatbelts styled in (your choice) anaconda, boa constrictor, or the always popular reticulated python.
elhigh, Jun 16 2005

       //If large breasts aren't your thing, have a picture of the old family farm, or a dead pet you had as a child, etc...Catch my drift yet?//   

       Yeah - but if that were the case, the idea would have been called "Picture Airbags" or some such thing. You named it "Cleavage Airbags".   

       Catch my drift yet?
energy guy, Jun 16 2005

       Oh yeah - and what [Susan] said. (-)
energy guy, Jun 16 2005


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