Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clergy Draft

Annual Clergy Draft Weekend
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(+3, -2)
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Many of the Christian based religions have central organizations who appoint their clergy. Often parishioners are upset when a favorite clergy member is transferred. The Jewish Reform and Conservative sects have contracts with their clergy and employ a rigid application process from the central governing body.

Anyone who has had the "honor" of serving on a Rabbinic search committee will tell you it is as honorable as receiving a colonoscopy.

Here is my suggestion: Replace appointment and the current selection process with the Annual Clergy Draft Weekend

1) Christian denominations draft on Saturday, Jewish Denominations draft on Sunday

2) All prospective clergy must attend the spring combines, where they must perform 3 of 5 events. 2a) Bris/naming/baptism 2b) First Communion/Bar/Bat Mitzvah 2c) Wedding 2d) Funeral 2e) Major Holiday Sermon (required)

3) Picks in each round are determined by inverse order of size, e.g. smallest pick first

4) Religious institutions can trade up in the draft by offering smaller institutions any combination of cash, other clergy, employees, or members

jaxmeier, May 11 2005

NFL Draft http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NFL_Draft
curiously closed market team selection system, used in the US with regard to pansified rugby derivative "Football" [calum, May 12 2005]


       "The Christian based religions have central organizations who appoint their clergy."   

       When an overly generalized and not wholly true statement like that is central to your idea, you could be in for a tough sell. You might get away with "Some", but surely not "The".   

       The Christian clergy that I know are employed by their churches in a free will scenario. Ideally, they serve where they believe they are called to serve, not where they are bound by contract or other man made precepts.   

       I remain neutral, since I don't know how every religious institution functions. It might work out in some groups. I've heard that there are religious trading cards, so you may be on to something with your sports analogy.
half, May 11 2005


       Don't be taking me too seriously now. You are correct, though. "Most" or even "Many" would be more appropriate. I edited for you.   

       Either way, I would just crack up seeing the number one draft pick come up to the front donning the robe/tallis with the big #1 emblem on it and putting on the congregational/church colors.
jaxmeier, May 11 2005

       "Glory Baptist has got themselves one heck of a Choir Leader in this years draft, Bob"
"Yeah, Pete, And with the off season trade for Dunckin' Dougherty, That ought to be quite a service"
Zimmy, May 12 2005

       Bagsy Pamela Anderson Lee.
DrCurry, May 12 2005

       I can imagine daily coverage of the clergy draft on ESPN with commentary and contests and parties everywhere. Everyone knows how those clergy like to party, especially the Catholic priests.
hobbitcoat, May 12 2005

       I was expecting a slant more militaristic than sporting. Replace "draft" with "conscription" and require every man woman and child to join state sanctioned religion, in some formal capacity, for a period of one or two years immediately upon attaining eighteen years of age.
calum, May 12 2005

       [calum] That sounds like an infringement on freedom of religion to me. I'm pretty sure no one would agree to that.
hobbitcoat, May 13 2005

       I thought this idead would be to draft people in organized religion to fight the idealogical wars they are responsible for.
10clock, May 14 2005

       And the drunk, the sexually inappropriate, the thieves, and well just the bad clergy all pensioned off to one room bedsit in South Utah or a former site of atomic testing.
popbottle, Jun 30 2013

       Is it ok if I re-write that as "Of the clergy, the drunk, the sexually inappropriate, the thieves, and well just the bad clergy...."
not_morrison_rm, Jun 30 2013


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