Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bitcoin is all very well I never, but the underlying technology is useless. What I mean by that, is that the "work" that has to be done to mine a new bitcoin is just some arcane piece of computation that serves no purpose other than to make it difficult to mine a new bitcoin. It's a bit like having prisoners break rocks - no real benefit (unless you truly want small rocks). Worse, bitcoin mining eats up power and computation that could be better used elsehwere.

On a different subject (but one which will, like the Titanic and the iceberg, converge with the previous subject shortly), good jokes are hard to come by. Entirely original good jokes only get invented a few times a year; even good jokes based on pre-existing ones are fairly scarce. Creating a good joke is difficult. But, when a new joke _is_ created, humanity has acquired one small, new nugget of humour which can never be taken away again.

Now, to the aforementioned convergence.

The solution to the whole cryptocurrency problem, obviously, is the Comedicoin - the international symbol for which will be one of those smiley faces with dollar signs for eyes. Comedicoins can be traded and used just like bitcoin, and each Comedicoin can divided into 100 Chuckles; each Chuckle can in turn be divided into 100 Chortles (though this will not be necessary until the value of one Comedicoin becomes quite large, as is sure to happen).

Now, how are Comedicoins generated? Well, obviously, to mine a new Comedicoin you must create a new joke. Jokes will be submitted first to an automated joke parser and syntactic extrapolator, which will determine if the joke is, potentially, original. Jokes passing this test will then be examined by a panel of experts famed for their diverse senses of humour.

A truly original and hilarious joke will equate to one Comedicoin. Jokes of slightly lesser originality, or of lesser hilarity, will be pooled to enable the cooperative creation of a new Comedicoin.

The Comedicoin has the advantage over Bitcoin in that Comedicoin mining can be performed by anyone, without the purchase of any special equipment, and does not consume any valuable resources. Also, of course, it tends to enwealthen good comedians rather than spotty teenagers with large heatsinks - which can only be a good thing.

The blockchain method used for Bitcoin will, of course, need to be adapted for use with Comedicoin. Our software mechanics are working on this problem at the moment, but a "stop me if you've heard this one before" algorithm is showing some promise.

MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 27 2017

Infinite Jest https://en.wikipedi.../Infinite_Jest#Plot
[Cuit_au_Four, Dec 28 2017]

Bazingacoin https://www.bazingacoin.com/
Baked, kinda. [Cuit_au_Four, Dec 28 2017]

Poor remake of the original Viz image https://drive.googl...iAlMoXYqKbljnqcbFcD
Neville Chamberlain in the outhouse [not_morrison_rm, Nov 06 2018]


       There will of course of course be no assignable identity to any rotten joke teller, just a permanent record that cannot be redacted.
xenzag, Dec 27 2017

       [Ian], you appear to have misunderhended the idea slightly a bit. A Comedicoin is issued upon the creation of a joke which is sufficiently novel and amusing at the time of creation (or upon the creation of several less good but still quite acceptable jokes).   

       Once created, the value of the Comedicoin becomes the same as the value of any other Comedicoin. What happens to the joke thereafter is irrelevant. The creation of the joke is merely a better alternative to the performance of some arbitrary calculation - as used by Bitcoin. The value of a Bitcoin does not depend on the continued status of the calculation used to create it.   

       //until the job disappeared// Is it possible that, after the 4,312th repetition of "I rest my case", the firm decided to shut down, regretfully lay you off, and then surreptitiously re-start under another name?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 27 2017

       candidate original joke:
Q: What is another way to describe the action usually called "stealing a kiss"?

A: Making out like a bandit.
Vernon, Dec 27 2017

       Estimated value: 0.000000 Comedicoins
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 27 2017

       It might be more of an Americanism joke than a British-type joke. Over here a thing often called "making out" usually involves kissing, at least.
Vernon, Dec 27 2017

       I'm with you so far, [Vernon]. But still the humour eludes me.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 27 2017

       The funniest jokes are always at someone else's expense, so I guess that gives them value, sort of.   

       [MaxwellBuchanan], is not the phrase "making out like a bandit" common in England, usually referring to getting such a good deal when buying something that it almost seems like theft? It is certainly a well-known phrase here, and I simply chose an alternate meaning of "making out" so that phrase (including the word "bandit") could be mentally connected to the other phrase ("stealing a kiss").   

       Perhaps I should wait for some other American to comment about that joke.
Vernon, Dec 27 2017

       Humour is related to fear. This is a good thing, because it will be harder to make people laugh in a bull market* which, in turn, means that there will be a self-correcting mechanism for any investment bubble in comedicoins.   

       *Joke from the end of 2008: "What's the difference between a merchant banker and a pizza? A pizza can still feed a family of four." There is no equivalent joke you could have told a year earlier with comparable comedic effect.
pertinax, Dec 28 2017

       This only subsidizes the development of the Infinite Jest, a joke so funny that it causes death by laughter to anyone unfortunate enough to hear it.
Cuit_au_Four, Dec 28 2017

       // is not the phrase "making out like a bandit" common in England...? // No, but it's easy enough to understand. Even with that information on board, though, my estimated value (vide supra) remains the same, alas.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 28 2017

       //candidate original joke//   

       I think your problem there, [Vernon], is not a cross-cultural one. Rather, you have got the raw material for a joke - a pair of similar analogies belonging in different contexts - and have somehow mistaken it for a finished product. I'm sure a good joke could be made from that material - so, well done, you spotted something good - but you haven't made one.
pertinax, Dec 28 2017

       Vernon, I liked your joke and commend its brevity.
Loris, Nov 06 2018

       We bet it's not over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke - used at Munich - though ...
8th of 7, Nov 06 2018

       ^ link
not_morrison_rm, Nov 06 2018


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