Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Compliments that sound like insults

invent compliments and make people feel insulted with them
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This brand of word-play involves combining rarely used words in ways that sound like horrific insults when in fact they're the opposite.

aptitudinal performance engenderer

rectitude paragon

reprobate annihilator
Voice, Oct 17 2013

The Puzzler http://www.kipling....k/poems_puzzler.htm
as if any explanation were needed … [8th of 7, Oct 17 2013]

The Talmudic curses that are blessings http://www.jewishvi...rce/Talmud/mk1.html
Rabbi Shimon son of Gerim (Converts)... (explained in annotation) [pashute, Oct 17 2013]

Sarcastic Ray https://www.youtube...outube_gdata_player
Oh, what a great round of applause that was! [Ling, Oct 18 2013]

[link]






       While quizzical, we imagine "horrific" differently.
jurist, Oct 17 2013
  

       An admitted heterosexual like [jurist] would say that. Probably a philatelist when no one is watching too.
AusCan531, Oct 17 2013
  

       I don't think you could have written a better idea.
tatterdemalion, Oct 17 2013
  

       Like +
blissmiss, Oct 17 2013
  

       [+] OK you ostentatious empiricist!
xandram, Oct 17 2013
  

       I find your overt munificence completely lacking any gormandizing behaviour whatsoever!   

       Wow, this is way harder than making insults sound like complements.   

       I hope you get a panegyric for this inchoate idea.
swimswim, Oct 17 2013
  

       An aweful idea!
spidermother, Oct 17 2013
  

       This idea fills the void in a much needed gap.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2013
  

       Is this not merely describing the ubiquitous elliptical conversational style of the typical educated upper-class Englishman ?   

       <link>
8th of 7, Oct 17 2013
  

       What 8th said. You know, on reflection, you're really not quite as ugly as the rest of your family are you Voice?
DrBob, Oct 17 2013
  

       // This idea fills the void in a much needed gap. //   

       [marked-for-tagline] of course, and I'm inversely irascible over the idea itself, mind you.
Alterother, Oct 17 2013
  

       What? 8th said.
pashute, Oct 17 2013
  

       You clearly are a person of the lowest moral turpitude, lacking even a shred of perfidy.
ytk, Oct 17 2013
  

       Given that most men devote considerable energies to gaining access to female netherparts, I've often wondered why calling someone a c*nt is the gravest of insults.   

       You wouldn't say "he's a complete Ferrari!" or "what a fortune!"
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2013
  

       Talmud (Moed Katan ch 1 page 9a, see link)   

       Rabbis Johnathan son of Esmai, and Judah son of converts were studying the subject of Vows under Rabbi Shimeon - Simon son of Yohai...   

       [after a relevant discussion on the meaning of words and values...] He (Rabbi Shimeon) told his son: "These people are in shape. Go get their blessing!" ...   

       [after a second short but relevant discussion about the meaning of life the universe and everything...] They asked: "What are you doing here?"
He answered: "Father told me to get your blessing."
They said: Let it be that
- you sow but not reap,
- you bring in but not take out,
- you take out, but not bring in
- your house will be destroyed
- your guests will return
- your meal shall be scrambled
- and you will not see a new year.
  

       When he came to his father, he said:
Not only did they not bless me, they cursed me!
- "What did they say?" - "So and so."
So he said: "Oh those! They are all blessings:
- You will sow but not reap: You will have sons who will not die in your time.
- You will bring in but not take out: You'll take in daughter's in law, and your sons will not die before them, so they won't leave you.
- You will take out and not bring in: You'll marry off your daughters, who's husbands will not die on them, and they will not return to you.
- Your house shall be destroyed and your guests return: You will be a guest in this actually temporary world, and your true home shall be in the future and permanent world to be. As can be read in Psalms (49): Their houses will be their graves (a Hebrew play on words)
- Your meal shall be scrambled: With many boys and girls.
- You won't see a new year: Your wife will not die, and you will not wish to marry a different one.
  

       (Of course, you get these blessings, only if you realize what is truly important and what is not, which was the subtext of that message, and of the preceding discussions)
pashute, Oct 17 2013
  

       You see, [pash], this is what stops religion being taken seriously.   

       "Your ears will be filled with cheese."
"Oy vey! With cheese already?"
"Yea, meaning that you'll never want for an impromptu snack."
"Well, OK then."
"And your land shall be flooded."
"Ai! Flooded you're telling me here?"
"With happiness."
"So, what, you couldn't have just told me that in the first place? What is it with you and the juvenile humour already?"
"And your hat shall be set on fire."
"Enough already. Is that a metaphor for revelation and wisdom surging through my brain?"
"No, I just like setting people's hats on fire."
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 17 2013
  

       [Max] The above method is to try and train optimistic thought behaviors. A good thing in the past when logical behavior control was under developed.
wjt, Oct 18 2013
  

       Oh yes, when in grammar school my friend and I used to tell boys their *epidermis was showing* and every single one of them glanced down to their fly!! (we'd run away laughing!) I think I was a halfbaker back then!
xandram, Oct 18 2013
  

       Your Majesty is like a stream of bat's piss.   

       I'm not understanding, obviously. Is it obfuscation? That a combination of arcane words will leave the listener confused and suspicious about meaning? What conveys the slight if the meaning is unknown?   

       This seems to rely on the premise that the most would think - "I don't know what you're saying so you must be insulting me". Would they?
tatterdemalion, Oct 18 2013
  

       //Probably a philatelist when no one is watching too.//   

       Got walked in on once when me and my girlfriend were engaging in philately. Pretty embarrasing.
doctorremulac3, Oct 18 2013
  

       I once called someone "a tree of a dog" in French when they cut me up on a road in Paris. It was the only collection of words that sprang to mind on the spur of the moment and, thanks to the delivery and context, it conveyed my intent.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 18 2013
  

       After working with dogs for a little too long I have come to realize that just about any nonsense can convey intent through inflection and tone. I suspect this is how the Chinese language evolved.   

       Also, I have learned that if you look at a person sternly and say "Sit!" in just the right tone of voice, they will.
Alterother, Oct 18 2013
  

       Yo momma such a nice lady.
bungston, Oct 19 2013
  

       I am glad I went back to read the annos because I got to read pashutes. That is great!
bungston, Oct 19 2013
  

       This idea is a steaming pile of excellence and reeks of adequacy.
Laughs Last, Oct 19 2013
  

       You never smelled so good.
Grogster, Oct 19 2013
  
      
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