Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clic!Kung Spear

A Yorkshireman's innovation in a harsh environment.
  (+12)(+12)
(+12)
  [vote for,
against]

I don't know about you but when I'm out wi' me !Kung hunter gatherer mates up Kalahari Desert I get a tad parched like. Woe it be for me, Melanie Sykes in't about to offer me nice pint a bitter to quench me unabating thirst.

So, wi' mouth dryer than Nun's pyjamas, I find it proper hard to communicate with me !Kung brothers and sisters. It's all those bloody !'s like. Suck tongue here, maintain double oral closure there, it's bonkers that! I got nowt saliva in gob, so every time I go t' click a consonant I can feel a blood blister forming on roof of mouth.

Anyway, I had an idea, so I popped down shed for me tools and set about making me a Clic!Kung Spear. I took a normal spear like, but I attached near the central hand grip a gadget that makes a range of loud clicking sounds. It works by expelling air out a hollow local root when you push down upon a button, and a reed in root clicks against the sides. Now, whenever I speak to me !Kung brothers and sisters I just press appropriate button when I need to click. It's a bloody life-saver!

Then I fashioned a cone out a dry leaves to ensure me aerodynamics weren't hindered none by clicker when hurling spear at giraffe.

Since then I've also hollowed out spear and sealed it wi' some rubber pipe. I put a rubber stopper on hilt with a wee compass in't. Makes for lovely portable thermos, and I always know me way home. Nowt affects flight too much either. I have to give it a bit more af a belt if a gemsbok starts to leg it like, but if yonder gemsbok gets away I can just have a sit down, forget me woes and have a nice hot spear of tea. Lovely.

theleopard, Apr 12 2007

The !Kung of the Kalahari Desert http://www.ucc.ucon...~epsadm03/kung.html
Me intrepid brothers and sisters. [theleopard, Apr 12 2007]

The !Clicks of the !Kung http://en.wikipedia...iki/Click_consonant
Ay, tis a funny language that. [theleopard, Apr 12 2007]

[link]






       Eee, tha's reet good. 'Ave an eccle's lad [+] Now all thee needs is cloth cap, wi't strap f'keppin' on't windy Kalahari moors. And extra large trousers f't'keep thy mongeese in't.
zen_tom, Apr 12 2007
  

       [+] Beautiful! Although I think that in the Kalahari, you'd only need the thermos if you were carrying fresh gin&tonic.
placid_turmoil, Apr 12 2007
  

       Grand job! Ah've bin leuking fer summat lak that fer years. Ah'll gi the !Kung a tinkle on tha telephone an 'ave 'em round fer tea.
wagster, Apr 12 2007
  

       Aye, yer not wrong their [placid] lad! But p'raps a big strappin fella like me might look like some kinda Southern quiche-eating fairy drinkin' a G&T out spear. In't it "pint of beer fer man, glass a wine or fruit based beverage fer ladies"?   

       Ere, thanks fer the eccles [tom], I got some hot cruss roastin' on yonder rock at mo so I'll save that fer later like.   

       And [wags], no sugar in't tea, they go bloody mental.
theleopard, Apr 12 2007
  

       Language theorists believe that clicks and whistles are widespread in these (theoretically) early languages because it's hard for prey animals and predators to tell where they're coming from. So perhaps you should be handing out Blackberries to your Kung mates, so you can all communicate silently on the hunt?
DrCurry, Apr 12 2007
  

       That may be true - but I'm trying to reconcile it with those new police sirens where the traditional nee-nar is interspersed with a crashy white-noise burst, to assist people in locating the source of the sound.
zen_tom, Apr 12 2007
  

       Could the theory be applied to ducks and their notorious ability to hunt in packs due to their unechoable quacks?
theleopard, Apr 12 2007
  

       Orthographe: une choable quacke
wagster, Apr 12 2007
  

       defination: choable cho-ah-bleh   

       Le propertie de une objecte pour assister une homme (ou femme) a performe les acts du train. Les acts du train comme quand vous pussez un train about le room, en dit "Choo choo!".
zen_tom, Apr 12 2007
  

       Ach! The sound of spoken French! Quick, hand me that spear, and let me see if I can figure out where the noise is coming from!
lurch, Apr 12 2007
  

       Alors - gerrof that !spear lad - ah'm drinkin !tea from it.
wagster, Apr 12 2007
  

       [jutta], dû à la place évidente sur ce marché, vous considéreriez créer la catégorie - Culture: Langue: Lance s'il vous plait?
theleopard, Apr 12 2007
  

       In th'interests of fairness, ah'd have t' propoase an equivalent device fer t'poor !Kung who cannet even pronounce a proper t'.   

       [Insert old joke about how the name of the band 'The The' is pronouced in Leeds ...]
bibliotaphist, Apr 13 2007
  

       I was wondering if Spanish speaking people might write the !Kung as !Kung¡   

       What a lovely sentiment [Frank]
theleopard, Apr 14 2007
  

       Somehow I keep reading this as the i ching. Several delicious punny idea titles spring to mind.... !Kung fu, i !Kung, Connie !Kung...
RayfordSteele, May 06 2008
  
      
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