Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Conveyor Belt Church

Grind cogs and conduct the pious about on them.
  (+23, -1)(+23, -1)(+23, -1)
(+23, -1)
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This provides the following benefits:
i) Vicar/Priest is conveyed sideways along the congregation, dishing out blessings etc
ii) Congregation is conducted orthogonally past the Vicar/Priest who can now bless his flock from a stationary position (allows for 24/7 continuous blessing process with shift-priests)
iii) At marriages, brides and grooms can be travellated to the appropriate positions automatically
iv) clever stereo and (in some accoustic environments) phasing effects can be achieved by moving the choirboys around during evensong
v) Long robes and ground-hugging mist can be utilised to suggest eerie driftage
zen_tom, Dec 01 2008

Conveyor belt Couch Conveyor belt Couch
Devan inspiration. [zen_tom, Dec 01 2008]

[link]






       + oh yes and for the flailing of the incense burner so the incense can waft all around. (my favorite part of church, if and when I go.)
xandram, Dec 01 2008
  

       Well passing the plate just got a whole lot easier.   

       I had thrown around something like this in my mind awhile back, but never developed it.
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2008
  

       Imitation is the highest form of flattery... This should also make communion easier.
ye_river_xiv, Dec 02 2008
  

       [+], especially for the phrase 'eerie driftage'!
imaginality, Dec 03 2008
  

       [+] improves access to all parts of the service for the disabled.
superjohn, Dec 03 2008
  

       A church interior circumferencing conveyor could greatly ease the Travellation of the Stations of the Cross, as it shall be and hereby is known in this presbytry.
calum, Dec 03 2008
  

       Gobsmackingly ludicrous. [+]
david_scothern, Dec 03 2008
  

       Hallelooh yeah!
wagster, Dec 03 2008
  

       You could power the whole thing from the next-door Buddhist temple's prayer wheels [+]
coprocephalous, Dec 05 2008
  
      
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