Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cowering Keys

For the aggressive typist
  [vote for,

We've discussed laser projection keyboards here before, but for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'll provide a brief explanation. It's a small device that projects a laser grid on a flat surface, and you type in the laser grid. An IR sensor accurately tracks your finger movements, and translates their locations in the grid to text on the screen. If you still don't understand, that's ok, I've provided some links for you to check out. I may not be explaining it right, but my second link describes the technology pretty well. Anyway, my idea uses the same technology.

In my idea, the grid is invisble and is overlaid atop, and just above, the keys on a solid keyboard. As you move your fingers over the keys, each key 'crouches' in fear, lowering itself in submission and dutifully putting its represented character on the screen before you apply pressure. If you still mash the key it lets out a slight whimper, terrified squeal, or sob. A gentle tap elicits a moan of pleasure.

21 Quest, Aug 25 2009

Laser Projection Keyboard http://www.virtual-laser-keyboard.com/
The technology behind my idea [21 Quest, Aug 26 2009]

How it works http://www.virtual-...yboard.com/demo.asp
The description is below the diagram [21 Quest, Aug 26 2009]


       Creepy. And you're going to annoy the hell out of that guy sitting next to you in coach.
phoenix, Aug 26 2009

       I would grow a handlebar moustache and keep a riding crop next to the computer.
wagster, Aug 26 2009

       Has anyone actually used a laser keyboard? I love the idea but I suspect the lack of feedback would make them horrific to actually type on.
wagster, Aug 26 2009

       I haven't used one, but the one in my links claims to make an audible click when you tap each key to provide the feedback you're used to. I have used the on-screen keyboard on my touchscreen smartphone, and it's not so bad. Generally i use the slide-out physical keyboard, but that's just my preference. From the top link:

       //A direction technology based on an optical recognition mechanism enables the user to tap on the projected key images, while producing real tapping sounds (we call it the WOW effect..). //

       With my idea, you still have the option of physically touching the keys, because it projects the laser grid over them.
21 Quest, Aug 26 2009

       I like it. Could it also hover three feet infront of the light switch so that I would appear to have telekinetic power when I turn on the light? (or anything else for that matter)
zeno, Aug 26 2009

       What exactly is this keyboard projected onto? Is it a //laser grid// or a hologram? Do you need a smoke machine for it to be illuminated?
shudderprose, Aug 26 2009

       Let's think about this for a second. Do you need a smoke machine for a laser level to project a line on a wall when hanging pictures?
21 Quest, Aug 26 2009

       it certainly adds ambiance to any activity
CaptainClapper, Aug 26 2009

       // If you still don't understand, that's ok // [marked-for-tagline]

       I'm glad it's ok, I was concerned there would be repercussions.
tatterdemalion, Aug 26 2009

       The read was way too serious for this fun, goofy idea.
daseva, Aug 26 2009


       "It's really explained quite well. I can't explain it any better than that."
normzone, Aug 26 2009

       Damn... multiple taglines from one idea... nice!
21 Quest, Aug 27 2009

       I'm curious... aside from being creepy, what's wrong with this idea? 6 fishbones and no annotations explaining any of them is kinda strange.
21 Quest, Aug 27 2009

       aside from being creepy, what's wrong with this idea?

       marked-for-tagline ... but i'm pretty sure you're doing this on purpose now. Anyways, there's nothing in the rules that says you can't bone without explanation. Also, you're a big boner, 21, and people tend to retaliate without scruples.
daseva, Aug 27 2009

       At least I have the courtesy to claim and explain my votes. And voting based on feelings toward the author with no regard for the idea itself? And here I was thinking we were all a little bigger than that...
21 Quest, Aug 27 2009

       Mankind, 21. Think about that word. What is it made of? Two words: Mank and Ind. A mystery, and so are we.
daseva, Aug 27 2009

       //At least I have the courtesy to claim and explain my votes//
Perhaps your ideas are just not worth the effort. Who knows?

Whatever happened to that "free razors for all" idea of yours?
Nice counterpoint to the socialist "beards for all" ideal.
I liked that one.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 27 2009

       Since we're all so thrifty with our energies? Lest a few keystrokes cause us irreparable pain and trauma? Pffft. Go ahead and play your favorites but don't deny it. A vote is an opinion, hasty and worthless without an anno to boot. A vote without an anno implies that you don't know why you feel the way you do, regardless if you do or not. Makes the whole lot of us look a little dim. Thanks autoboners for keeping the bakery on par with the rest of the net since 1999.
daseva, Aug 27 2009

       [-] cute but I'll pass: "typus interruptus" will cause physiological damage in a practised typist trying to "pull" strokes.
FlyingToaster, Aug 27 2009

       Sometimes I vote without annotating because what I want to say has already been mentioned.

       Sometimes I vote without annotating because the spirit of the post simply annoys me and I don't wish to churn it further.

       Sometimes I annotate without voting because I feel rather neutral.

       Sometimes I just forget to vote.

       Sometimes I think people are simply too desperate for affirmation and that desperation comes across as obvious and unappealing.

       To borrow a military phrase, embrace the suck, man.
RayfordSteele, Aug 27 2009

       veni, vidi, boni.
FlyingToaster, Aug 27 2009

       Still trying to figure out how [daseva] got away with calling [21] a "big boner", and getting away with it. If it had been me there would have been puns flying everywhere, and bad penis jokes, and all that other hanky panky that goes on around this place.
blissmiss, Aug 27 2009

       I did wonder if he was calling me a dick. Wouldn't be the first, that's for damn sure...
21 Quest, Aug 27 2009


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