Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Defecated Decaf

Digestively Enhanced Food Products
  [vote for,

By now most java enthusiasts have heard of Kopi Luwak, a supposedly superior coffee obtained by grinding the beans after they have traveled through the digestive tract of an Indonesian civet cat. Further web research led me to find a similar coffee product that is created when the beans are ingested and regugitated by a species of Vietnamese weasel. If coffee snobs are willing to pay enormous sums for these beans (over $400/lb.), then why not put the rest of the animal kingdom to work looking for even better brews. Why not feed coffee beans (after testing for potential toxicity by using escalating doses)to various zoo and farm animals? After recovering and processing the beans, panels of taste testers could then determine which species possessed the ideal digestive apparatus to produce the most flavorful and aromatic beverage. If a suitable domestic animal (say cow, sheep, or guinea pig) were identified, then mass production would even be feasable, creating an extra source of income for our farmers and ranchers. Perhaps there are other vegetable products which can be similarly "improved" by a trip through the alimentary canal, such as cocoa beans, vanilla beans, or other edible nuts, berries, or grains.
masterchief, Jun 21 2005

Chris Ruben on Kopi Luwak http://www.thecoffe...on3/html/kopi.shtml
[jutta, Jun 21 2005]


       Jutta beat me to the Kopi Luwak link. Not mass produced, but otherwise baked.
Freefall, Jun 21 2005

       Well, the "invention", such as there is, is to apply that principle to other animals and other foodstuffs. E.g., pig-fermented vanilla beans.   

       Fermentation is used a lot in preparing foods. It accounts for some interesting and complex results (e.g., wine, cheese). So, while you can read this as just a superficial "people will buy anything" shit joke, it's not quite completely outlandish - syrupy, I'd say, with a nutty undertone.
jutta, Jun 21 2005

       Has anyone tested the effects of the human digestive tract on coffee beans? This could potentially undermine the commercial prospects.....
Basepair, Jun 21 2005

       Just finished a bag of "Roasted Chestnuts" from an oriental company, which were moist, rich brown, mildly smoky, and, well ... viva la Panda!
reensure, Jun 21 2005

       This conjures up the idea of a lion or tiger fed on large amounts of caffeine, which would be an interesting prospect for the safety of the experimenter.
nineteenthly, Jun 21 2005

       One wonders how "defecated" coffee was originally discovered. "Hmmm...that looks good..."
crater, Jun 21 2005

       I needed to be sick and there was no grass around.
The Kat, Jun 21 2005

       waiter! this coffee is shit.
benfrost, Jun 22 2005


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