Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Desert Bonsai

Everyone deserves to own a barren spot to fill a void in their life
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
  [vote for,

Many people have been awe struck by visiting a desert, their eyes squinting against the blazing light as they scanned the endless horizons of ever changing, but seemingly timeless dunes.

With Desert Bonsai, you can now own a little piece of that same desert to experience in your own home, office or even your car. It consists of a hand made bowl into which has been placed a sample of genuine sand from the desert of your choice.

Once you have positioned your Bonsai bowl, an environmental artist/technician (possibly myself) will come and sculpt an individual dune in it using a powerful blower. Each dune is certified as unique and unrepeatable. A dried bone fragment, miniature cattle skull, or shrivelled, dead cacti stump completes the arrangement.

All you need do now is sit back and watch, after you have switched on the powerful heat lamp that mimics the daily action of a traversing sun, rising at dawn and sinking to a bright red shimmering orb at dusk.

Desert Bonsai only requires watering once every ten years and comes with a money back guarantee that it will grow nothing. Extra dunes and bleached bones are available on request.

xenzag, Jul 19 2006

Mini Zen Garden http://www.otherlan...n%20Garden&prod=790
Similar - minus the dunes [fridge duck, Jul 19 2006]


       i have always found deserts to be not happy places. see, they're kinda hot on average. the heat, the heat can be a bit of a problem. take away the lamp, and i'll take one.
tcarson, Jul 19 2006

       I thought: "Desert Bonsai... sounds a bit pedestrian really, now Bonsai Desert - *that* would be an idea". But I read it anyway and Bonsai Desert is exactly what you've described. Have a carefully baked miniature croissant.
wagster, Jul 19 2006

       "Crudely made bowl of sand" Be sure to charge at least $299.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 19 2006

       not crudely made.... exquisitely, exotically fashioned - individual grains positioned to perfection under magnification using specially designed sand moving tweezers.
xenzag, Jul 19 2006

       careful, those tweezers can put tiny scratches on those perfect grains of sand. Perhaps using an electrostatically charged cat whisker would be better.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 19 2006

       You know, if you bake this in a terrarium, with a lizard or two, I'm there.
BunsenHoneydew, Jul 19 2006

       I've baked this (sans dune)in a terrarium with lizards. (2lepoard geckos, 3 bearded dragons) but i guess without the dune, and the finely crafted bowl, this is really just sand.... [+].
bleh, Jul 19 2006

       I just question how finely you can sculpt anything with a powerful blower.
daseva, Aug 17 2010

       Check out a hair salon sometime. They seem to sculp with blowers without too many difficulties. Figurative sand sculpture is also a well developed art form. I think a small dune in a bowl could be achieved with comparative ease.
xenzag, Aug 17 2010

       that zen garden misses the whole point of zen.
Voice, Aug 17 2010

       For someone to be able to select which grain of sand to move and where to put it with a blower is preposterous, sorry. And without this type of fine control how will you prove that any given sculpture is unique? I guess you could photograph the thing and analyze the curve of the dune against a database or something.. Still, I'm going to be a little perturbed with the guy who comes into my house and starts blowing sand all over the floor. You gonna clean that up? .... Ok, I'm liking the idea now but hey, I just want to consider using a surgical robot or something to put on the finishing touches.
daseva, Aug 17 2010

       // preposterous //   

       No it isn't. All you need is a nozzle valve that can reliably release one atom of gas at a time.
8th of 7, Aug 17 2010

       //how will you prove that any given sculpture is unique// I think even if you just dump two piles of sand on a table haphazedly, the burden of proof is on the guy who asserts they're *identical*   

       //All you need is...// Or a very, very large supercomputer.
mouseposture, Aug 18 2010

       my cat would enjoy this.
FlyingToaster, Aug 18 2010


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