Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Desperate Measures

That's six inches?!
  (+16, -3)(+16, -3)
(+16, -3)
  [vote for,

A line of jackets that feature a fabric tape measure sewn into the lining, just behind the zipper. Useful when you need to measure something, like a piece of hardware.
bristolz, Jun 13 2003

Conceptual illustration http://bz.pair.com/fun/DespMeas.html
[45Kb image] [bristolz, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

another ruler http://www.gb.nrao..../Wvsta'98/Ruler.jpg
you could just take your laptop with you everywhere you go, and get this up in your browser [neilp, Oct 05 2004]

Brace Yourself http://www.costumem...m/Corps/Corpb08.gif
For days when it is too warm to wear a jacket. [jurist, Oct 05 2004]

Desperately Seeking Inches Light_20My_20Inches
[theircompetitor, Dec 16 2004]


       How the hell do you do those illustrations? +
sambwiches, Jun 13 2003

       Be careful using it in a store, though. "Honestly officer, I wasn't stealing it, I was just measuring it..."   

       Great illustration, as usual.
waugsqueke, Jun 13 2003

       Unfortunately, it looks the zipper is sort of getting in the way (since it's not flat), and it's nice to measure things with the ruler right up against them. Still a good idea, maybe you can find somewhere else to put the ruler, maybe just farther away from the zipper so you can fold it back.
calculust, Jun 14 2003

       Yeah. The idea wouldn't have to take the exact form I illustrated but one thing I considered is that the further away from the edge it is moved the harder it is to use without taking the jacket off. I also considered having the zipper teeth themselves marked as a ruler.
bristolz, Jun 14 2003

       "Yes, I'm sure the bolts were 3 and 2/teeth inches long"
FarmerJohn, Jun 14 2003

       What if your significant other tosses it in the hot water wash and shrinks it?
Cedar Park, Jun 14 2003

       Obligatory wash n' dry on hot *feature* for tiny trouser-snakes Post.
Obligatory disclaimer: Behold his majesty!
thumbwax, Jun 14 2003

       [bris]: Just use an outside fabric flap that many jackets use to keep wind from blowing through the zipper. Make sure the fabric is hot water safe.
Cedar Park, Jun 14 2003

       [Cedar Park] That would be the rare case where shrinkage would be good for a man’s ego.
ldischler, Jun 14 2003

       + although the chaps must always guard against catching their chaps when 'offering' up for measurement.
gnomethang, Jun 14 2003

       Excellent. I have needed these many times before.   

       You have got to show me how to do those images.
galukalock, Jun 14 2003

       I think you could actually put it on the outside. It would be an interesting look and some people would actually go for it.
madradish, Jun 15 2003

       This reminded me of a pair of shoes I had as a 5 year old. If you lifted up a secret part of the leather lining on the inside, it revealed a functional compass.
Helium, Jun 15 2003

       [maddy] Some show-offs might even wear clothing with three, horizontal, tape measures at choice locations.
FarmerJohn, Jun 15 2003

       I'm not laughing. I saw Bryce once but haven't ever used anything but 3DSMax5. I used brazil as the renderer in this particular image.
bristolz, Aug 07 2003

       How about having the tape measure along the hem to solve the problem of the zip being in the way?
Taika, Aug 07 2003

       Well, that could work but when I wrote this I was thinking more along the lines of being able to take quick measurements easily while still wearing the jacket. The zipper interferes a little but with the tape along the hem, unless it is a very long garment, it is a little more awkward to use the hem edge of the fabric unless it's for very short measurements (like the six inches I referred to).
bristolz, Aug 07 2003

       Hmmm, I see your point. I did figure that it was for measurements with the jacket still on, but I thought it would only work for short measurements anyway as it could be awkward for longer measurements as you'd need two hands to hold the jacket taut whilst also juggling the item being measured.   

       Though actually, thinking about it, the zip doesn't need to be a problem at all really. I'm sure the item can just be held against the jacket (with the obligitory furtive, shifty expression as you worry that people are thinking you're a shoplifter).
Taika, Aug 07 2003

       how about a temporary tattoo like that. standard and metric, slap it on your arm or wherever.
jaksplat, Dec 16 2004

       That's a good idea, [jaksplat]. Or a thin cling strip.
bristolz, Dec 16 2004

       Or a tape measure in your pocket?
Belfry, Dec 16 2004

       Was the jacket zipper the first place you thought of putting this, or was that just for subtlety? +
tiromancer, Dec 16 2004

       That is exactly what I was thinking, [tiro]!
bungston, Dec 16 2004

       Something very similar to this was done on Neighbours once (or it might have been Home and Away). Some girl hadn't finished a dress for a competition so she entered it anyway and said that the tape measure that was still attached was a design feature. I am so pissed that I remember that.
stilgar, Nov 21 2006


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