h a l f b a k e r y
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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Gustaf has acquired a dog, and it has the
bad habit of embarrassing everyone by
attempting to have casual sex with the
legs of seated guests. For some reason,
the dog has taken a particular shine to
Stefan's right leg and Stefan has had
On his next visit, Stefan decides to wear
his latest invention, which he has labelled
his Dog-gone trousers. These are regular
trousers, apart from one added special
On the section below the knee, a
out dog shape has been attached to each
trouser leg. This is made of a
of hairy, stretchable fabric, backed up by
inflation tubes, and a system of tiny
valves, concealed within the material and
connected to a small pressurised
that is kept in the pocket.
Just as the unsuspecting dog begins to
attach itself to Stefan's leg he triggers his
Dog-gones into action. Compressed air
races down the tubes.
A replica dog shape instantly inflates
the vigour of an air bag, causing the
startled mutt to be harmlessly launched
The action continues as the replica
to vibrate, in imitation of the nefarious
humping action previously displayed by
dog, who can only watch balefully from
behind the safety of the nearest chair.
Fluffy dog pants, Red Hot Chili Peppers -
- No photo available, but did find a drawing of the pants worn in the video [normzone, Sep 08 2006]
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||Better have one in the other leg going as well or the put out dog might think that its being invited to an orgy on your legs. Never a good thing <thinks back to days of youth> Almost never a good thing.
||//Your solution is to deploy a blow-up
sex-doll to *deter* humping?// "not
tonight dear, I'm feeling a little deflated"
||I'm thinking something with pheronomes would be better.
||hmm, this might give rise to trebuchet trousers...
||normzone's illustration is the perfect
solution to wear for visiting the local
"frisky kennel club" - This would require a
control panel, to make it work, but
pictures multiple inflating dogs popping in
and out, under a sustained assault from a
batch of determined terriers.
||hmmm...maybe something involving razor
wire. Gotta be careful with that on your