Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog-gone Trousers

trousers that deter dogs from getting frisky with your leg
(+4, -4)
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Gustaf has acquired a dog, and it has the bad habit of embarrassing everyone by attempting to have casual sex with the legs of seated guests. For some reason, the dog has taken a particular shine to Stefan's right leg and Stefan has had enough.

On his next visit, Stefan decides to wear his latest invention, which he has labelled his Dog-gone trousers. These are regular trousers, apart from one added special feature.

On the section below the knee, a flattened out dog shape has been attached to each trouser leg. This is made of a combination of hairy, stretchable fabric, backed up by inflation tubes, and a system of tiny valves, concealed within the material and connected to a small pressurised container that is kept in the pocket.

Just as the unsuspecting dog begins to attach itself to Stefan's leg he triggers his Dog-gones into action. Compressed air races down the tubes.

A replica dog shape instantly inflates with the vigour of an air bag, causing the startled mutt to be harmlessly launched free.

The action continues as the replica begins to vibrate, in imitation of the nefarious leg humping action previously displayed by the real dog, who can only watch balefully from behind the safety of the nearest chair.

xenzag, Sep 08 2006

Fluffy dog pants, Red Hot Chili Peppers - http://www.frozenbe...ords/0112/04fdd.gif
- No photo available, but did find a drawing of the pants worn in the video [normzone, Sep 08 2006]


       Better have one in the other leg going as well or the put out dog might think that its being invited to an orgy on your legs. Never a good thing <thinks back to days of youth> Almost never a good thing.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Sep 08 2006

       //Your solution is to deploy a blow-up sex-doll to *deter* humping?// "not tonight dear, I'm feeling a little deflated"
xenzag, Sep 08 2006

       I'm thinking something with pheronomes would be better.
DrCurry, Sep 08 2006

       hmm, this might give rise to trebuchet trousers...
xandram, Sep 08 2006

       normzone's illustration is the perfect solution to wear for visiting the local "frisky kennel club" - This would require a control panel, to make it work, but pictures multiple inflating dogs popping in and out, under a sustained assault from a batch of determined terriers.
xenzag, Sep 08 2006

       hmmm...maybe something involving razor wire. Gotta be careful with that on your legs, though.
discontinuuity, Sep 09 2006


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