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Dog repellent cat food

Cats only
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Dogs are notoriously unchoosy about their food. Having depleted locally available dog food, a dog will often move on and consume any available cat food. Cats presented with dry food take longer than dogs to decide on whether they will eat or not. When this decision is made for them by the dog, inbreeding and low intelligence make it difficult for the cat to figure out how to avoid this outcome with future feedings.

BUNGCO catfoodologists have been working day and night (they start after dinner and stop when the good shows come on) to develop a pet food attractive to cats but repellent to dogs. Current research points to either a strong, fermented fish flavor (the odor of which can easily be detected anywhere in a 500 meter radius) or an overwhelmingly sweet flavor, to which cats should theoretically be indifferent but which has the drawback of attracting children and ants.

bungston, May 25 2016

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       I could use this. Damn dog stealing my cat's dinner!
(Although a simpler method is to put the cat food in a place the dog can't go. Mostly "up".)
neutrinos_shadow, May 25 2016
  

       // inbreeding and low intelligence //   

       ... which tells you most of what you need to know about cats.   

       Solution:   

       1. Boil cat.   

       2. Allow to cool.   

       3. Strain off fur.   

       4. Chop up into little bits.   

       5. Feed to dog.   

       Sorted.
8th of 7, May 25 2016
  

       That's terribly cruel - dogs can get serious injuries from eating cooked bones.   

       Anyway, [8th], we all know where you stand on cats. If you ask nicely we'll tell you.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 25 2016
  

       // we all know where you stand on cats. //   

       Oh dear... we thought no-one knew. It's become almost a sacred place to us, and now we'll have to find somewhere else. Unlikely to find somewhere with such handy facilities for rinsing off the blood, too.   

       There's nothing wrong with standing on cats, you know. It's quick, it's relatively painless, and believe it or not the cats actually enjoy it. Well, they enjoy it right up to the moment we stand on them - after that, maybe not so much.
8th of 7, May 25 2016
  
      
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