Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog restaurant

Food served by trained dogs
  (+5, -6)
(+5, -6)
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A family restaurant where the waiters are trained dogs -- one assigned to each table. When you sit down, you call your waiter over by name ("Here, Rex") and give it a dog biscuit from the tableside dispenser. You take the menus and a pencil from its doggie-panniers and circle the items you wish to order, then place the menus back in the dog's saddlebag. Once your food is ready, the (human, alas) kitchen staff puts it in a doggie cart and hooks it to your waiter. Then you call your waiter's name and coax him back to your table. Fun and confusion ensue as cart-bearing dogs crash into one another in the restaurant aisles.
ong, Dec 12 2001

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       I think it'd be asking a lot of a poor dog's restraint to carry a cart filled with meat in and out of rooms filled with the scent of cooking meat...
StarChaser, Dec 12 2001

       do they eat them UB, have you a recipe?
po, Dec 12 2001

       my god, UB, you really do live for this place, don't you! it must be some godawful hour of the morning, and you're logged up to the 1/2B...
[ong], the idea makes me grin a little but it's really a bit of a no-hoper. You have to have people that *want* this. Dogs are lovely but I don't want them dealing with my food. fishy fishy for your doggie bag...
lewisgirl, Dec 12 2001

       I can't deal with the thought of my waiter humping my leg.
phoenix, Dec 12 2001

       or peeing on it? but I like dogs as long as they don't bite, I've been bitten before when I was young. If they were well behaved and didn't slaver on the food I'd love them to serve my food at my local drive through.
gizmo, Dec 12 2001

       The plates would be made of plastic, so when you were finished, you would throw them in the air, and the dogs would catch them like frisbees. For hygiene reasons, the dogs would be encased in rubber suits -- it could be a fetish doggy bar.
pottedstu, Dec 13 2001

       It would be a good idea to have the dogs only serve food no right-minded dog would eat. Those synthetic food-replacement objects that McDonalds describes ephemistically as "burgers" spring to mind.
Aristotle, Dec 13 2001

       You see? We don't bash *all* newbies.
beauxeault, Dec 13 2001

       hilarious! then teach them all to play poker - and pool! croissant!
benfrost, Dec 13 2001

       I thought this was going to be a restaurant where the rich took their pooches to eat. That's probably already baked in Beverly Hills though.
Redbrickterrace, Dec 13 2001

       Also in China, though not in the same way. Remember, a dog is for life, not just for Christmas dinner.
angel, Dec 13 2001

       // a dog is for life, not just for Christmas dinner //   

       Well maybe not for life, but do a nice curry, make sandwiches, soup, and an Alsatian might do you a week.
pottedstu, Dec 13 2001

       The rich owning dog restaurant thing is baked. They serve their food on dishes instead of bowls at a table. The chairs are made so that dogs and cats can go up and down easily. 'Human' chairs are there too so that the owner or care taker of the animal can sit with them. Don't know if it's in Beverly Hills or not, but it is baked. On topic, I like the idea. Reminds me of restaurants in Africa where someone trained monkeys to wait tables. Don't think they do this any more though, it was just a gimick so they would get customers.
barnzenen, Dec 13 2001

       //Dogs are banned in restaurants because they carry a multitude of diseases//   

       I should be dead. Momma's most favorite and spoilt child, Poohkie Bear, is a master of eating food neatly off my fork as we alternate turns eating from my plate....is this too much information about me?
Susen, Dec 14 2001

       Yeah, I know the feeling...We Americans seem to be considerably more spread out, though...
StarChaser, Dec 15 2001

       There was once such a grim blizzard on the M1 that Terry Wogan, en route to his work at Broadcasting House, had to shoot his huskies in order to survive.
maggie, Dec 15 2001


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