Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hunter/Gatherer Restaurant

Get back to basics
  [vote for,

Restaurants these days are all about themes and gimmicks. The food that is served is as contrived as the chef can possibly manage. It is far removed from the methods used by other animals to gather food. What I propose is a regression to the hunter/gatherer era - but as a restaurant. I must make it clear now that I don't propose to fill the restaurant with real animals etc. After all, contrived though it is, restaurant food is rather nice. I advocate only a regression in how it is obtained.

All dishes will be placed on robots with some sort of AI programming to make them as defensive as possible. Patrons will be handed a pointed stick or ugly great cudgle on entering the restaurant, and from then on, left to fend for themselves. Now you could stalk the "Grilled Tuna With Balsamic Vinegar And Parmasan Butter, Served With Roquet Salad" through the reseraunt and only eat once you had backed it into a corner and bashed the robot with a tree root or whatever. And you'd have to try to seperate a desert from the sweet trolley herd before you could bring it down. And given the robots run on AI, the more the dishes are hunted but escape, the harder they become to catch, thus making the better meals all the more rewarding. Any kid could catch a side of brasing steak, but only the real restaurant hunter could manage a delicate steak fillet. Think of the added satisfaction if your meal was not only exquisitely prepared, delicately flavoured and beautifully arranged, but you also had to track it for hours before finally driving it into a souffle trap?

mcscotland, Apr 18 2001


       I thought this was going to be about a restaurant that serves dishes made from grubs and tree bark. But I'll vote for your version anyway.
Dog Ed, Apr 19 2001

       Raw ingredients, raw sauces + cooking tools + fire + boiling pot of water? Is that your idea? Some Asian restaurants, plus other cook-yourself-a-steak places offer this service. The best part of this service is the 'Suit-Myself', and self-learning for novice cooks. Greg Zeng.
gz, Apr 19 2001

       Mmm. Nea like this restraunt! Get to bash silly computer with big-stick and eat too! Rrrg. Good! Fun! Yum!
Nea, Mar 21 2002

       mcscotland: "Now you could stalk the 'Grilled Tuna With Balsamic Vinegar And Parmasan Butter, Served With Roquet Salad'"

Yeah, but what kind of decoys do I use to lure it in? Chardonnay and cheesecake?

(sorry, but the image of hunting down a fully garnished and accessorized entree just hit my sense of humor)
quarterbaker, Mar 21 2002

       Mine, too. Or is it just that 'satire' and 'suaté' appear so similar, like 'sous chef' and 'ruse chef'?
reensure, Mar 21 2002

       Would you still have to pay for it, even though it escaped?
dag, Mar 22 2002

       Oh very definitely dag - otherwise people might not try that hard (or just perhaps be in for the sport and not the food). Imagine the extra thrill of finally tracking down that nip of 1961 Aberfeldy malt (at £750 a glass in St. Andrews Old Course Hotel), born out of the accompanying fear that you could pay so much and the odds were against you catching it at all.
mcscotland, Mar 22 2002

       What will stop a frustrated customer from pulling out a 9mm and start hunting the modern way?
bing, Mar 22 2002

       It would be better with basic implements, but I can't see why we couldn't accomodate the guncrazy in a seperate area.
mcscotland, Mar 22 2002

       baked. I assume that none of you have tried to dine in Paris, whilst being obviously english.
mymus, Mar 22 2002

       Must try one of the places you go to mymus. I might have to work on my accent to get the same effect though....
mcscotland, Mar 22 2002

       Sure, you can use your 9mm. But then so can the prey... I can see it now - Headlines read "Party of two killed by their food"
dag, Mar 23 2002

       Sorry about the condition these croissants are in, but there was this robot...
thumbwax, Mar 23 2002

       Would some of the really high-end dishes be able to fight back?
Tabbyclaw, May 25 2004

       what about adding an edge with othe costomers. i.e everyone pays £200 a head but there is only one high end dish to be caught, everyone else gets happy meals.
etherman, May 25 2004

       Walk softlyand carry a big stick!
DesertFox, May 25 2004


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