Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
No serviceable parts inside.

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More Ethical Meats

Serving what could eat you.
  (+3, -5)
(+3, -5)
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Some people feel that eating defenceless animals bred for docility and tastiness is unfair. To eliminate this problem I propose opening a restaurant which only serves the meat of predatory carnivores which would eat humans if given the chance.

Those not mollified by the knowledge that their meal, had it survived, would make a meal of them can try the self-serve option. Equipped with only a knife (not arming the human makes the deal unfair the other way) they can venture into their proposed dinner's natural environment (the preserve out the back of the restaurant, snorkels provided for those who want the fish) and try to kill their own food for our expert chefs to prepare.

Those who like their meat rare will be able to order it half baked.
sirrobin, Mar 28 2001

Night of the Lepis http://www.allmovie...l?p=avg&sql=A103974
Rabbit pie anyone? [DrBob, Mar 28 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Love for St. Bernard Meat Angers Swiss http://dailynews.ya...8/od/dogs_dc_1.html
what about this one? [procrastinator, Mar 28 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       The mosquito we'd do, but not the salmonella. Salmonella bacteria don't eat people. In fact it's eating the harmless and friendly salmonella bacteria that makes people sick.
sirrobin, Mar 28 2001

       +1 for style, -1 billion for the last comment.
LittleBitONothing, Mar 28 2001

       The last comment was in response to a request for salmonella sauce which was deleted while I was writing the comment. I hate when that happens.
sirrobin, Mar 28 2001

       The carnivores eat "animals bred for docility and tastiness." That way, even PETA members can eat guilt-free at this restaurant, since it would be a way to exact revenge.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2001

       actually, I was reffering to: "Those who like their meat rare will be able to order it half baked."
LittleBitONothing, Mar 28 2001

       degroof, I like your way better than mine.
beauxeault, Mar 28 2001

       I had mako shark once. I normally don't like seafood, but it's hard to pass up an opportunity like that. It was delicious. A pity that the rest of my dive team was devoured.
centauri, Mar 28 2001

       Mammal carnivore meat generally doesn't taste very good, I understand. Sharks, snakes and other reptiles are special cases.   

       I approve of this idea, if for no other reason than to use up some PETA members...
StarChaser, Mar 28 2001

       I'll have the Pit Bull Chops.
thumbwax, Mar 28 2001

       Why did the man-eating-chicken cross the road?
LittleBitONothing, Mar 28 2001

       would a werewolf be a patron or fare?
absterge, Mar 28 2001

       Starchaser: Mammal carnivores can be a little gamey but that's why we'll have expert chefs. Wonderful things can be done with sauces and marinades.

absterge: A werewolf is either patron or fare depending on time of the month and whether or not they choose self-service (which could be entertaining: Patron: "I'll have self-serve rack of werewolf." Waiter: "Excellent choice, we have a werewolf who has ordered self-serve human tartare at table five. Would you care to see the wine list first?")

LittleBitONothing: thpppptt! If I can't pun in my own ideas where can I pun?
sirrobin, Mar 28 2001

       I often feel that you should only be allowed to eat meat if you visit a slaughterhouse and personally slit the throat of a live cow. If you can do that then you have earned the right to eat meat.
blahginger, Mar 29 2001

       UnaBubba: I really hadn't thought of humans as food but then what species is more predatory?
"Over one billion served," takes on a whole new meaning as does the idea of a food fight.
sirrobin, Mar 29 2001

       Blahginger: That'd be a waste of a cow. They don't cut their throats, they clobber them with a sledgehammer.   

       On the other hand, being an unapologetic carnivore, it wouldn't bother me at all.
StarChaser, Mar 31 2001

       Seen it. Wouldn't want it done to me, but then I'm not a food animal.
StarChaser, Mar 31 2001

       I'm not 2000 pounds, quadrupedal or herbiviorous. Cows aren't much like me.   

       Everything lives on death; something has to die that something else can live.
StarChaser, Apr 01 2001

       Cows are large, ugly and smelly at just about every point of their bodies. Anyone who has looked closely into their big, soft, brown eyes has probably either gagged from the smell or found themselves spattered with cow saliva. I think it's a wonderful thing that such a horrible beast can provide so many tasty treats just by hacking them to bits.
sirrobin, Apr 03 2001

       Would as many people have qualms about eating cows if they looked more like a cross between an octopus and a scorpion? Perhaps not, but who'd want try eating it?
centauri, Apr 03 2001

       centauri, you have a very warped mind.

sirrobin, nice try. But you're not luring me into an argument today.
DrBob, Apr 03 2001

       Here in Santa Barbara, there's a restaurant that got a bit of bad press for serving lion. There are businesses that sell exotic meats for distribution to restaurants, carnivore meat included.
kitsune, Apr 03 2001

       Waste not, want not.   

       I've had alligator ribs, I wonder if they are similar to croc? I thought they tasted quite a bit like a cross between pork and duck.
PotatoStew, Apr 04 2001

       *gag, choke* "A cross between *pork* and *duck*"?! Thanks for the warning, Stew! I'll be sure to pass if ever I am offered gator ribs! >:P
absterge, Apr 04 2001


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