Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Dr. Sue's

  (+9, -5)
(+9, -5)
  [vote for,

Some people fear hospitals and doctors' offices. So a visit can increase stress and actually damage the health one is trying to protect.

Dr. Sue's is a doctor's office that seeks to alleviate patients' concerns with levity in the spirit of a dear departed literary genius. For example:

I’m sorry to say
You’ve nine noggles too many.
And this in a day
When some folks haven’t any!

But needn’t you fret about any of that.
Just fill this prescription from this here cat’s hat.
It might take a day or it might take a year,
But soon you’ll no longer see out through your ear!

And take one of theses
Or two, if you pleases,
To remedy beebles
And gorbles and sneezes.

Thank me? No, thank YOU, I certainly will,
If you survive long enough to pay my bill!

beauxeault, Jul 15 2002

Sounds like a bad film to me http://homevideo.un...tle%7cpatch_adamsce

THE OJ TRIAL AS TOLD BY DR. SEUS http://members.aol.com/jessetg1/oj.htm
almost better than the original [DrCurry, Jul 15 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(???) THE OJ TRIAL AS TOLD BY DR. SEUS http://members.aol.com/jessetg1/oj.htm
almost better than the original [FarmerJohn, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Archive of The OJ Trial... Dr. Seuss http://web.archive....com/jessetg1/oj.htm
Link works! [Acme, Nov 16 2004]


       Next door, of course, is a legal firm specializing in malpractice, named "Dr. Sue" or something.
beauxeault, Jul 15 2002

       I don't care whether you're healthy or not
As long as your insurance helps finance my yacht.
Mr Burns, Jul 15 2002

       .... upstairs from a hat shop, and next door to the pet shop ?
8th of 7, Jul 15 2002

       Ugh, this sounds way too similar to Robin Williams in Patch Adams. But I guess if the doctor wasn't quite that furry, and didn't wear a red nose, I could avoid fishboning this.
pottedstu, Jul 15 2002

       Just yesterday, Doctor,
You gave the name Zoo.
The day before, Doctor,
It was Archimedes Screw.

       It’s not Doc Zoot Suit
And not Dr. Scoot,
Not MD Bruise
Or even Surgeon Snooze.

       Mr. Bozo, it’s the wackies
That’ve got in your head.
Now my white-coated lackeys
Will take you back to your bed.
FarmerJohn, Jul 15 2002

       And then you’ll awake
To the rise of the sun,
With just a slight ache
From our gamma ray gun.

       With a really sharp knife
We’ve divided your brain,
And taken your life
But given you twain.

       As you calmly snored,
We hooked up our shocker.
You shook and you roared,
But you’re back on your rocker.

       So take heart my dear sir.
Oops, I’d forgotten to say,
That your him is a her
Starting today.
FarmerJohn, Jul 16 2002

       That reminds me, I'm due for my gorbles booster shots.
waugsqueke, Jul 16 2002

       I hope you don't plan to become a great dancer. You've got diabetes and three kinds of cancer.   

       Now pay me by Tuesday And don't make it late, Or I will be forced to Sue your estate.
horripilation, Dec 02 2002

       The prognosis is in: I regret to inform
What I've found there in you is outside of the norm!
Now about your condition I'll try to explain,
And help you to know what is causing you pain.

There's parasites in your intestinal tract!
They have taken your spleen and won't give it back!
Yes, the bugs in your guts are of the worst sorts!
There's snargles and frubbles and treffles and splorts!

They're running amok, of that there's no question.
They've set up a fortress in your small intestine!
If they aren't stopped quick, through your bloodstream they'll hurtle!
They could make you blind, or stone deaf, or infertile!

We must operate quick, of that there's no doubt.
We'll then whallup the buggers, and pull them right out!
But first you must wait at the back of this line,
For I practice in Canada, where the health care is "fine".
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 02 2002

       No finer example of halfbaked cooperation.
dentworth, Nov 15 2004

       (not a little concerned by the dark twist introduced by our beloved [FJ])
david_scothern, Nov 16 2004

       Had forgot about this one, a personal favorite. Which brings up the yearly wail for SORTA CLAUS!!!!
blissmiss, Nov 16 2004

       Alas, to this patient
you'd bring little hope
This frivolous excercise
won't help him cope

       He suffers, this NeoCon
North of the border
From obsessive compulsive
Rhyming Disorder
theircompetitor, Nov 16 2004


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