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Dream Tiger-Repelling Dream Pod

..for care-free fictitious rainforest naps.
  [vote for,

Back story:
Last night while in a mid-sleep/wake state I began to dream I was walking through a rain forest. I stopped at a large tree, sat down and began to drowse off. (To clarify, I was drowsing off in real life, dreaming I was drowsing off in the rainforest.)

Suddenly, I heard a faint crackle and woke (in my dream) to see a beautiful tiger glaring at me with fierce bright eyes, slowly and intensely stalking me from about 20 feet away. I was quite startled and thought, “Crap! If I run it will chase me, if I stay still it will eat me where I sit!

Needless to say, this poor planning on my part initiated me to go back in time (yes, still in my dream) and return to the rain forest better prepared. I must have finally drifted off in real life and continued with this dream throughout the night because I woke up with the following invention, which I thought I’d share due to its odd origins...

I envisioned a 5 ft long hollow walking stick/umbrella-like tool that could be expanded into three nested-tiers when opened. The tool had tucked into it a collapsible crossbow and throwline to shoot up over a tall sturdy tree limb, and an integrated pulley system for leverage to grapple up the rope.

Once opened, and after grappling up to be suspended about 3-4 feet below the branch and at least 10 ft from the ground, the first, smallest 1 ft diameter top tier (much like a tiny upside down umbrella) exposed a sticky substance for trapping any fire ants or other crawlies that might wish to climb down the rope.

The second, clear very-rigid tier (like a strong super-sized upright umbrella) created a 6 ft diameter canopy over me acting as a convenient repellent for any tigers or other tree-climbing predators. Should any tigers climb up onto the limb and try to pounce on me, they would merely hit the umbrella, tip the whole contraption and then fall harmlessly to the ground. (Maybe a bit bruised, but relatively in tact to pursue more easily accessible tiger prey!)

The third and final tier (upside down umbrella about 4ft diameter) would provide a comfortable napping nest for myself and my backpack etc. Rolled up under the tiger-repelling second tier was a tubular mosquito net that could be unraveled down around the sleeping area and velcro-affixed.

So there I could sleep, free from fear of bugs and tigers, deep in the rainforest, at ease in my suspended cocoon. Next morning, awake, descend myself and the contraption down to the ground, (on condition that no tigers waited me out at the bottom of the tree) collapse the system back into a walking stick and use it to hike back out to civilization!

Zuzu, Nov 14 2005

(?) ling cod http://www.hoodspor...0eggs-retouched.JPG
[normzone, Nov 20 2005]

Illustration http://img513.image...895/dreampod0ng.jpg
[Zuzu, Nov 20 2005]


       I think you're likely to run into issues of conservation of mass (i.e. that's one big-ass walking stick). Presumably there's a rope ladder or some form of access included, too?   

       On the plus side, if you keep it inside the dream, then that saves on storage space when you get home.
moomintroll, Nov 14 2005

       Sounds like fun. Yarr me mateys, I be invincible yet comfy.
Darkelfan, Nov 14 2005

       For myself, I would have just come back, dream-wise, with an elephant gun. Then again, my preferred dream-time appendages, wings, would probably have been just as helpful, without offing any endangered dream life.
DrCurry, Nov 14 2005

       Perhaps you should stop eating tiger before you go to bed.   

       From the word umbrella, I've been imagining The Penguin from the 1960's Batman using this.
hidden truths, Nov 14 2005

       where's the dragon?   

       sp: tyger
po, Nov 14 2005

       Tyger? So many things are spelled wrong in the UK.
ldischler, Nov 14 2005

       Also useful to avoid conversations with punks, Jehovah's Witnesses, and raging hoards of circus clowns.
RayfordSteele, Nov 15 2005

Yes, "all these things and mooore, will bounce harmlessly to the soft forest floooor."

       (product jingle)
Zuzu, Nov 15 2005

       Dreams are usually based off real life thinking, likle for instance when I have a thought I've never thought before, I usually have an extremely odd dream about it. Possibly the brain does this to explore the idea. Lately this doesn't happen because I've noticed this and tell myself not to dream about it. I usually have very scary or cool creams now. The ones I used to have were just... odd. Sometime I have trouble keeping my dreams seperate from reality because I keep waking up at 2:00 and being scared out of my wits the dang spiders aren't trying to suck my blood!   

       So I wake up every hour or hour and a half, but I haven't woken up to any strange creatures of the night lately which makes me sleep better. Possibly due to the house getting sprayed in insecticide. I think I ate some in my sleep (spiders) a couple times... Yech!
EvilPickels, Nov 15 2005

       It must be fun being you [Zuzu].
wagster, Nov 15 2005

       Damn, that's quite a dream. And to think all I came up with in dream land last night was that I'm- naked-and-I-have-to-write-an- exam-that-I -haven't-studied-for dream.
Flux, Nov 16 2005

       Last night I had this cool freediving dream...   

       1st scene: I was looking at a surfing picture   

       2nd scene: I was in the wave with the surfers, but protected by this barrier that kept me dry   

       3rd scene: The barrier went away, and when the wave came over me I felt around in the rocks and sand with my hand, but couldn't see more than a little ways due to turbidity   

       4th scene: I decided to hold my breath and stick my head in the turbidiity to see what game might be there. There was a ling cod amongst a bunch of sea urchins. I tried to get a hand in his gill plates because I had not brought a spear gun. I got a grip on him, and woke up because I was holding my breath and the need to breathe became annoying.   

       Wish I could have landed him...ling cod is very tasty.
normzone, Nov 20 2005

       I was going to vote negative until I saw the illustration.
Dream tigers or no, that's just plain cool.

       Nice pod [Zuzu]! I would give you another bun for that if I was allowed to.
wagster, Nov 20 2005

       [Zuzu] Can I recommend to you three of the greatest books ever written? After reading them you will have the scariest tiger dreams imaginable!   

       All by Colonel Jim Corbett:   

       'Maneaters of Kumaon' 'The Temple Tiger', and 'The Maneating Leopard of Rudraprayag'   

       The life of this remarkable, courageous, humble man is also the subject of a biography - 'Carpet Sahib'.
ConsulFlaminicus, Nov 20 2005

       I think umbrellas for falling tigers should be sold and advertised in urban areas as a surreal joke.
jellydoughnut, Nov 20 2005

       Another good book about tigers is "The Life of Pi". He could have done with one of these....
Minimal, Nov 21 2005


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